Forever or a Lifetime
by Ibetyoulookgoodonthedancefloor
Summary: Will a selfish wish cause Sesshomaru to loose Rin forever? Is spending a lifetime with the one you love more important than the fear of losing them?  I don't own these characters. Rumiko Takahashi does. Their story needed closure. It's romantic. Enjoy:
1. Chapter 1

-1Chapter 1: May I Come With You?

She had run to catch up with Sesshomaru. Her legs were longer now, but still two of her strides were necessary to keep up with his pace. Nearly seven years had passed since that first fated day. Rin recalled peering out, stealing and coveting the image this beautiful creature all clad in white. She was 13 going on 14, gangly, and self conscience. Jakken scuttled quickly behind his lord, babbling incoherently. "Wait Lord Shesshomaru." The toad gasped in a near run to keep up the brisk pace of the stoic demon clad in white.

Rin felt a certain heat in her chest as she peered modestly at Sesshomaru. Her heart beat quickly as she realized how much she had missed him. Taking residence in Kaede's village to get used to people left her longing for her lord's company. He often left her with no knowledge of when he'd return. He always did of course, but she wondered if there would be a day that she would never see him again. Her forehead creased with worry and a chill consumed her whole being. Would he forget about her someday? Was he such a fickle lord

that he would leave her behind?

The three made their way through a winding forest path lush and crawling with deep green undergrowth. The sun broke in speckles through the canopy dappling the ground with a slow motion dance of light and shadow. The path sloped downward into a small clearing. Crossing a babbling creek over stepping stones, the group found their way to an open meadow of wild flowers. A-un was lead by Jakken to drink from a sparkling pool at the far end of the meadow. Rin still caught up in her thoughts, meandered slowly among the knee high flowers in full bloom. The syrupy fragrance had an intoxicating effect on the girl. She ran her thin fingers over silkiness of their petals. She felt as if she had wandered into a dream. Images of the endless days making daisy chains, sleeping under a sky full of stars, and chasing fish from creeks under the watchful eye of Sesshomaru sped through her mind. She smiled inwardly. She always enjoyed surprises from the complex and in many ways eccentric demon. After countless weeks of absence he had swooped in with Jakken and requested that Rin follow him. The girl happily trailed behind the demons into the dark forest. Usually these random walks to unknown destinations rewarded the girl with lavish gifts and a feeling of her importance to an individual who had no time for the rest of the world.

Rin sensed Sesshomaru behind her resting against a large old tree gnarled with knots and twisting branches. Glancing over her shoulder Sesshomaru met her eyes. "Rin come here." The girl approached him without hesitation, stopping shortly before her lord. "Rin I may not come back to the village for a while." He spoke slowly in deep even tones.

"How long is a while?" Her throat constricted painfully. Sesshomaru was quiet for a moment. Jakken watched knowing full well that the demon's decision would devastate the girl. Rin knew better than to push any farther, nothing she did would illicit an answer from Sesshomaru. In Rin's mind a while was a few months, but she knew that a while for Sesshomaru could mean years. He had all the time in the world.

The distance had steadily been growing between Rin and Sesshomaru.

He detested coming to Kaede's village. Human's in general carried the foul odor of labor and the slow decay of being mortal. Yet, Sesshomaru always found his way back to the girl who waited anxiously between visits. Frequently looking towards the clear and open sky, hoping to see if she could spot the person she longed for most in the world. She enjoyed the company of Inuyasha and the others quite a bit, and had grown to love Kaede, but her desire to be near Sesshomaru nagged like a hunger deep inside of her.

A cool fresh breeze passed between the girl and the demon, catching the scent from the carpet of flowers. Sesshomaru inhaled the sugary fruity aroma of lillies, and Rin believed she caught a very small smile. "May I", the girl began, thinking twice about what she was about to ask, "may I come with you Lord Sesshomaru?"

"No Rin." There was no malice, only sincere regret in not having the child by his side on this venture. "I'm going to the continent. I will not put you in danger."

"I understand" Rin's voice was barely above a whisper. "Promise me you won't forget about me." She felt a little brave in making such a request. Some part of her knew he never did, but she could not help feeling as if her life was going to change drastically. The continent was so far away, and she understood better than even Jakken the lengths Sesshomaru would go to achieve his ends.

"I will return." Something about those words were like a caress, taking away the young girl's worries. Rin had faith in the demon, their bond was strong, but it had changed. Rin's feelings for her lord had matured. She wondered what Sesshomaru thought about her. She would grow older and eventually become a woman. Could he ever love a mortal woman as Rin wanted Sesshomaru to love her?

The girl smiled brightly even though her heart was breaking. Sesshomaru's cold stare softened when he looked into Rin's dark eyes. 'Please don't leave me behind Lord Sesshomaru.' She thought, taking a seat at his feet. The stems of the flowers were tall, and came up to Rin's shoulder. Her wistful daydreaming gaze made Sesshomaru realize the journey he was making would not be in vain.

Rin lay next to Sesshomaru's feet, flowers outlining her frame. She hummed softly as she made a flute out a blade of tall grass. She blew into the little flute producing soft sweet airy notes that fluttered away on the breeze. Sesshomaru closed his eyes and listened to the song coming from the long stalk of grass. Jakken had been instructed to busy himself during the afternoon. Interjections would not be permitted this time. The notes grew further and further apart and Sesshomaru's keen ears picked up Rin's slow deep breathing and her heartbeat. She had fallen asleep in the cool grass. He too was lulled to sleep by cadence of the girls breathing and the muffled thump thump coming from her chest.

When Rin awoke the sun had sunk low into the sky casting a marigold haze behind the tree tops. She rubbed her eyes and admitted absent-mindedly that hadn't intended to sleep that long. Upon sitting up, she realized Sesshomaru was still sleeping. He was very handsome in the warm glow of the late afternoon sun. What could possibly be on the continent that he needed? How ever long it took Sesshomaru to find what he was looking for, Rin would wait.

The girl moved a little distance away from the demon afraid of waking him, and gathered flowers as she had when she was a young girl. Some part of her wished that Sesshomaru would never wake up. She didn't want him to leave, and the dread of being far away from him began to creep upon her. Before she knew it, tears had begun to sting her eyes. She wiped them away quickly afraid that he would see her. Rin's emotions had betrayed her; the demon's keen nose picked up the scent of her salty tears and it awoke him. "Rin are you crying?"

"No, I just have some dust in my eye." She coupled her lame response with a forced smile.

"Do not lie to me." Rin's tears made him uncomfortable.

"I'm going to miss you, that's all." She wiped her eyes trying to stave off an on coming flood. She felt a little ashamed, but was over whelmed and could not help herself. Sesshomaru looked from side to side for a moment before he spoke.

"Do not worry Rin." It was said so softly that only Rin could hear. "I will return to you." Her tears stopped immediately. Very rarely did Sesshomaru reinforce that he cared for the girl with words, and she knew she would have to cherish that moment. She knew that it was a secret between her and the dog demon. It was a promise to come back to her. She knew she would see him again.

"Jakken." Sesshomaru startled the goblin who was twisting holes in the dust with his staff of two heads. He was ready to be back at his master's side.

Pulling A-un along on his tether, Jaken followed Rin and Sesshomaru out of the clearing. The short walk from the meadow to the village was hardly long enough for Rin. Her eyes adjusted to the dim forest path. Evening had begun to descend around the woods. Thousands of cicadas and crickets chirped and vibrated hidden amongst the shadowy leaves of intertwined trees. The fireflies bobbed along in the darkness of the forest illuminating the path beyond. A rosy sky was visible through the breaks in the canopy. As the pink faded into a blood red, Rin thought of all the long days she would have to wait for Sesshomaru's return.

The trapped heat and humidity of a long summer's day was oppressive in the lurid cathedral of trees and foliage. Mosquitoes sprung to life from the turbid pools of water on which they skated during the long hours of the day. They buzzed in the pockets of moist trapped air biting at any bits of exposed flesh. Even Sesshomaru was not immune to the itching sting of the blood-suckers. He swatted at his neck and scratched the bite. "Shall I apply ointment to your bites when we return to the village Lord Sesshomaru?" He gave her no answer.

Some part of the girl longed to touch the demon. She could not freely make physical contact with him as she would with her father or a friend. She wanted to feel the warmth of his skin. She hoped he would notice that she had learned to make healing ointments and potions just as well as Kaede or Jinenji in the years she had lived at the village.

She had an aptitude for treating ailments, and looked forward to following Kaede into neighboring villages to administer care to the sick and the wounded. She wanted Sesshomaru to see value in her other than being a pet.

No breeze was present that evening. The stuffy woods made her want to loosen the light weight yukata sticking to her skin. She didn't remember the day being so hot even though it was already deep into the summer season. The forest path opened up to the outskirts of the village. Sesshomaru stopped and turned to the girl. "It's time for me to leave Rin." The indifferent words cut her try as she might to keep from feeling hurt. He met her sad eyes and placed his hand upon the top of her head and lightly stroked her hair. Looking into his face free of emotion, Rin understood a while meant she would not see him for years. She turned her face away as her eyes began to glisten again. She swallowed hard trying keep from crying until he flew away on his mysterious quest. "Good-bye Lord Sesshomaru. Good-bye Master Jakken." Her voice cracked as she stepped aside. The dog demon and the toadish goblin took off into the sky with A-un trailing behind them. Sesshomaru's soft warm tail brushed past Rin as he ascended. He looked back just once and the girl waved with a sullen smile. She watched his figure move across the sky until she could no longer see him.

She turned back into the hot damp forest where she knew it would be safe to expel all her lost and lonely tears in private. Falling to her knees, she cried her eyes out.

The sky was indigo and rapidly filling with stars when she wandered out of the forest. She felt spent and tired. Her eyes stung from weeping hopelessly. Pulling her exhausted body along, she made her way through the quiet village. The smell of stews cooking over burning embers and the low murmur of families chatting pushed her to seek out the kindly old Kaede. When she pushed open the flap of Kaede's hut the old woman ran to her. The girl looked as if she'd been through hell and back. "Child what's the matter?"

"Kaede." Rin rushed to her as fresh tears began to flow again. She grabbed at the woman hoping to sink into her desperate for consolation. The old priestess rubbed the young girl's back and shooshed her, soothing Rin's rattled nerves.

"I see." Kaede said softly as she listened to Rin between sobs. "He'll be back, he always comes back dear. Don't yea worry I've never seen such devotion from a demon." Rin smiled a little.

"I'll just miss him so much." Rin admitted.

"Your training in herbs is nearly complete. Soon enough you'll be going outside of the village with me to heal the sick. The time will fly right by. Before you know it Sesshomaru will return." Rin nodded her head looking forward to applying what she had learned on real people. She had already assisted in the birth of Sango and Miroku's children, and was looking forward to helping Kagome give birth to her first child. There were many things to be positive about, but she still felt a longing in her chest to be close to Sesshomaru. Before drifting off to sleep, Rin said a silent prayer for Sesshomaru to think about her. Many many miles away under a full moon gliding over the sea, Rin's face popped into Sesshomaru's mind and he exhaled softly. He would miss her.


	2. Chapter 2

-1Chapter 2 After the Happy Ending

Kaede was right in one aspect, gathering herbs and learning how to use them filled Rin's days with numerous activities and tired her out. Kagome's baby was fast approaching and the sweltering days of summer were not treating the young priestess kindly. Sango and Kaede were concerned with progression of Kagome's pregnancy. Cramps and bleeding had troubled Kagome from the beginning and now were growing with frequency. Rin became a runner for the three women, and enjoyed being given some responsibilities that she might brag about when Sesshomaru came back. Her knowledge base of plants was invaluable to Kaede who was growing older and needed strong nimble limbs to retrieve raw materials for her potions. Kagome had been bed ridden for a number of weeks and Rin was fascinated by the young priestess. Kagome was fond of Rin as well, seeing many qualities such as loyalty, independence, and hopefulness in the girl that she valued.

On a rainy afternoon the women gathered in Kaede's hut and separated herbs, leaves, and medicinal roots together in small satchels to be given out in the winter when epidemics seemed to strike. Kagome watched on, smiling, thankful for the company. Even though it had been a month since she had been quarantined to the old woman's hut, it was hard for her to stay on her back being waited on hand and foot. "Oh Rin, that root goes in the other pile." Kagome kept the girl from mixing a lethal concoction together. Rin still had to learn many of the nuances of making medicine. "It took me a while to learn the difference in color. If you mix that root with those herbs, the root releases a toxin into the medication." Rin's confidence was bashed a little, she was so sure that she knew her plants. Her frown indicated her displeasure with being incorrect about something so important. Kaede placed a hand on Rin's shoulder.

"Rin you have more knowledge of plants than I had at your age." Rin enjoyed being praised by the old priestess. "It's a simple mistake, and put side by side you'll know the difference between the roots now. If you had any spiritual power, believe me you'd make a fine priestess."

Spiritual power seemed to be a curse for those who carried the burden of balancing the world. Rin could never see herself being pent against Sesshomaru because he was quintessentially evil. All demons were evil, weren't they? No, not to those who knew the truth. Rin felt human's could and would commit far greater evils in this world than demonic beings primeval in their origins. Although she had never asked, Rin assumed Sesshomaru had lived for centuries.

How many lives, human and otherwise, had he taken to prove he was a powerful and fearful demon? Had he slaughtered women and children for the sake of proving his might?

It was easy for Kagome to love Inuyasha because he was part human. Inuyasha's human heart reached out for Kikyo initially, and then earnestly yearned for Kagome. Was love simply a human emotion? Sesshomaru was not human; what was his heart capable of? Demon's were attracted to mates that held great power. Their focus when it came to mating was the propagation of strong and powerful offspring. A meek human could not add to a gene pool hand selected to be superior and excellent. Rin had begun to wonder if Sesshomaru's cool and collected demeanor could be swayed by a connection so strong that it could not be deteriorated or tarnished by time.

The women continued on with their work, silently listening to the rain pelt the roof in steady sheets. A scratch at the flap of Kaede's hut disrupted the sleepy afternoon sorting. Miroku's head popped in through the entrance and a set of twins pushed around him and ran to their mother. Miroku entered with a very young infant on his front, a toddler on his back, and a small boy trailing behind him hand in hand. "You can't run in here." Sango scolded the two girls who pouted at her reproach.

"We're sorry mama." The girls said in unison and sat quietly beside their mother.

"They were getting antsy to see you Sango. So I thought it wouldn't hurt to bring them around. They promised to be on their best behavior." Miroku took a seat in the far corner and readjusted his brood of children. He left the infant in front, moved the toddler that was now asleep to a spare mat on the floor, and allowed the small boy to sit on his lap. Sango and Miroku's family was growing every year.

It seemed as soon as Sango delivered a baby, another was on it's way. Unfortunately Kagome and Inuyasha did not have the same luck with conception. Kagome had become pregnant a number of times, but she always seemed to miscarry in the beginning. In a way she was envious of Miroku and Sango's ability to reproduce with such success. She desperately wanted to have a child with Inuyasha and her heart, it seemed, was not in this pregnancy. Even though the pregnancy stuck, there were so many complications. Talking to Jinenji's mother did little to soothe Kagome's doubts that the child would survive long enough to be born. Early on, Kagome consulted with the only woman she knew that had any experience with having half demon offspring. The girl reasoned since the child was only a quarter demon carrying the baby would be easier.

"No, there were many times I thought I would loose Jinenji." His mother mused. "He was such a large, strong child that the pregnancy and the birth were difficult. But I don't regret conceiving a child with the only man I've ever loved. I'd go through all the pain again." Rin had accompanied Kagome on this occasion and took those words to heart. On their way back to the village, Rin grabbed Kagome's hand in an offer of silent comfort. The girls were separated by a centuries, but the touch reassured Kagome that she was not alone and to have hope.

Summer ended uneventfully gliding directly into a mild Autumn. The leafy trees became vivid splashes of blood red, hazy orange, and true gold covering the wooded hillsides. Rin still looked every day towards the endless horizon in all directions for a sign of Sesshomaru. Where could he be? She sighed realizing there was no use in wondering where he was. He was across the sea unable to hear her call.

The smell of cooking sweet potatoes under a smoldering pile of cast off leaves roused Rin lost in thought. She had completely over looked her friends in the village. Although she had no biological family left; the family she had gained through knowing Sesshomaru seemed to heal a hole fate had dug in her psyche.

She observed the figures gathered around the ash pit. The lives of the people who came in and out of her life so frequently in the first year she had known Sesshomaru had changed drastically. The group had won their battle against Naraku, and were rewarded with a future free of conflict and uncertainty. She felt happy for her friends. They all had their closure. All of them were able to begin a new life full hope. Inuyasha poked at the smoking pile with a twig anxious to get Kagome fed, Sango and Miroku stood close together keeping an eye on their energetic children, Shippo was off gaining ranking in his fox demon training as always, and Kohaku had gone on a slaying mission and was expected back at the village anytime. Inuyasha fished the cooked potatoes out from under the hot pile of burned leaves.

Maybe, Rin thought to herself walking towards Inuyasha, Sesshomaru and I would be able to do this together sometime. She smiled knowing the idea was silly. Very rarely did he eat and he never did it in front of her. There were so many mysteries that surrounded Sesshomaru. She had a feeling that he consumed the raw flesh of livestock and other lesser demons. Rin had seen Sesshomaru's claws bloodied by fighting, and she imagined him with a fist full of dripping muscle from a freshly slaughtered beast. She shook the thought from her head. She had attempted to offer him grilled fish stolen from the village nursery where she had originally died, but he refused to eat any thing she brought him. Would he eat food prepared by her now? Why couldn't he have human desires that she could understand like Inuyasha?

"Here, take this to Kagome and Kaede will ya' Rin?" Inuyasha handed the girl a few piping hot sweet potatoes wrapped in a large leaf to protect her hands from being burnt. She nodded shyly and smiled, moving quickly towards Kaede's hut.

When the women unwrapped the potatoes, they quickly identified the one Inuyasha intended for Kagome to eat. He had found the largest potato he could to give to his wife. He knew of no other way to take care of Kagome other than stuffing her until she was about to burst. He believed the baby would make it if Kagome had enough nutrients to keep her strong. He felt if Kagome gave birth to just one child, the depression and inadequacy she felt from miscarrying so often would become a faint memory. He yearned to combine two to make one. He wanted to create the family he longed for as a child with Kagome.

He could never have imagined the love that Kikyo felt for him would refuse to die even after her own death. He had gained the person Kikyo longed to be through her strong desire to be with him again. The all consuming anger she took to the grave could not stop her from loving Inuyasha. Kagome was part of the past and part of the future and would be by his side until she died.

The women made idle conversation about the weather and the long winter ahead. Half way through her potato Rin broke topic, "How did you know you were in love with Inuyasha?". The question was simple enough. Kagome paused thoughtfully,

"I suppose when I wanted to be with him even if it meant my life in the present was slipping further and further away." She rubbed her full and bulging belly. "Plus, I've never been a very jealous person, and every time I saw him go to Kikyo I hated the feeling of being forgotten or left behind. I never considered that time might have stopped for them, and that their feelings were still very fresh." Her brow creased as she thought about Inuyasha's wavering heart.

"You and my sister share a soul and you're the product of her longing to be with Inuyasha. It was a pure, but inappropriate wish for something as powerful as the Shikon jewel." Kaede interjected, "It was almost as if you were jealous of yourself for being in love with Inuyasha." It was quite the impossibility; being born to fulfill an unrequited love many centuries in the past. Kikyo's longing for Inuyasha was so powerful that she tore through the fabric of space and time to be with her soul mate.

"You could say that for all couples. Aren't people meant to meet each other for a reason?" Rin said thoughtfully. "What if you were made for only one person?"

"In my time," Kagome started, "the human race is nearing seven billion people. But I believe in true love and in soul mates. True love bound me to the past. Some part of me would always have wanted and needed Inuyasha. I just couldn't forget him." Kagome was so resolute when she spoke about Inuyasha. Rin was no time traveler, but she was certain that an emptiness would be created in her heart that would never be filled if she were forced away from or forgotten by Sesshomaru. She knew Sango felt the same way about Miroku when she weighed the life of a child against the Monk's in the final battle with Naraku.


	3. Chapter 3

-1Chapter 3: What Beautiful Things Cannot Replace

Kohaku returned to the village later that fall. It took longer for him than expected to return. His prowess in slaying demons was known far and wide and he was called upon as he made his way home. Rin was surprised to see him coming down the hill in her direction. She didn't recognize him at first. He looked different every time she saw him. All the fighting and solitude had hardened Kohaku. He'd gone from being a sensitive scared boy afraid of confronting his bloody past, to a mature young man attempting to atone for the many lives shortened by his hands. He had grown tall and had a lean athletic body shaped by strenuous and precise training. He'd become far more capable and deft in the destruction of demons than Sango could have imagined, yet he hadn't lost that soft heart. His boyish face showed the signs of growing into an attractive young man.

"Kohaku!" The girl cried as she ran towards him. She embraced him warmly, thankful for his safe return. He fished around in a bag slung over his shoulder full of wares and gifts collected from the villages where he had slain demons. He pulled out a small lavender sashay made of silk. He handed it to Rin who marveled at the fine handy work of the bag. A cream colored depiction of birds sitting on tree branches with magnolias in full bloom adorned the pouch. A cream ribbon was laced through the top of the bag drawn tight keeping the contents a mystery inside.

"Open it," he said excitedly. The girl did as she was instructed. The bag contained a number of trinkets including some small pretty quartz crystals, rouge incased in a shell for her lips, and a little ceramic jar of aromatic oil that smelled like vanilla and spice. "I wanted to get those to you sooner. It's for your birthday." Rin smiled and expressed her gratitude with a million thanks. She didn't expect for Kohaku to remember her birthday. It felt good to be remembered. She appreciated Inuyasha and the others celebrating with a nice dinner, but his was the only gift that Rin had received.

Kohaku was especially important to her. They had spent so much time together at the end of Sesshomaru's journey to find Naraku. His kindness never failed, and she loved him like an older brother. His feelings were mutual. He felt a strong protective love for Rin and would do anything for her.

As they entered the village talking rapidly, the pair were all smiles. Sango was outside gathering firewood with her newest addition to her family on her back. Her twins trailed behind her carrying spare bundles of sticks in their arms. The girls squealed startling the poor woman. "Welcome back Kohaku." Sango smiled as the two girls dropped the sticks and ran to their uncle excited to see him after almost a season of absence. The days were shortening and there was a pronounced chill in the air. Venturing out to slay demons would be dependent on the weather, and Kohaku wanted have a long visit with his friends before he started out again. When he left that winter, he would probably be gone for the entirety of the season depending on the severity of the elements, and would not return again well into the next spring.

Everyone enjoyed listening to Kohaku's stories of what he had seen and done on his journey up and down the coast of the narrow main island. The group gathered in Kaede's hut and talked long into the night glad to have some new news. Rin tired out easily. The excitement of Kohaku's return left her longing for sleep. Kohaku slept with Inuyasha in the hut he and Kagome shared before she needed constant care during her pregnancy. As they were drifting off to sleep, Inuyasha informed Kohaku of Sesshomaru's sudden absence from Rin's life. "He just left without letting her know when he'd be back or what he was looking for. She's not the same. You can tell she wants to see him, even if she's good at hiding the fact that she misses him." Inuyasha commented thoughtfully. Kohaku remained silent for a moment.

"Then perhaps I shouldn't say anything about demons of substantial power being bested by iron pellets." Kohaku believed Sesshomaru was powerful, but anything could happen while he was away. "The iron is toxic for them, and on my way through a few forests I saw many half decomposed carcasses of demons poisoned from the inside." It was a strange thought, something as old and unchanging as Sesshomaru rotting slowly and festering waiting to die. His true nature would be unveiled. He'd no longer a being able to maintain his hominid guise. He'd be revealed as a massive dog beast lying pitifully on the ground, panting for breath as demonic crows ripped into and devoured his vulnerable flesh.

Mortal wounds at the hands of another demon, and even purification by the most pious of humans with spiritual powers was possible, but a human invention destroying immortal demons seemed far fetched. But wait, where were demons in Kagome's time? Were they driven to extinction by human's mastering the mysteries of the universe. How do you kill something with the power of a god? Kohaku's story was gaining more and more probability. There was much evil in Kagome's time and it was not done at the hands of demons. Inuyasha shuddered at the thought of what Kagome told him of the future.

Many wars and astonishing atrocities had been committed between men without the aid of primordial evil being evident. The representatives of nature such as personifications of the sky, water, earth, and wilderness were defeated by human mechanisms and technology. The spirit of the world was suppressed by science. Her voice was silenced by the unfathomable greed and gluttony that humans lived by. They no longer feared the unknown entities that crept and crawled in the shadows because they harnessed the power of imagination. Man had nothing to fear when he knew everything.

Sesshomaru scoffed when Rin rapidly relayed Kagome's far fetched tails of the future. The frozen boxes that kept food fresh, the huts that scraped the skies, cities comprised of a thousand multicolored flames, carts that moved on their own, and much more. The girl could hardly contain it all in her head.

Jaken scolded Rin and told her she ought to live in present because she would be long dead before any of this would happen. Jaken continuously reminded Rin of her mortality. Yes she knew she would be dead some day and that her life would be fleeting compared the endless spectrum of time. Time was the great divider between Rin and Sesshomaru. He had all the time in the world, and her life would slip away like a short summer.

Rin awoke early that morning, but not as early as Kohaku. She was heading down to the river to gather fish for breakfast when she heard hurried splashing into the chilly stream that ran swiftly beside the village. She didn't want to intrude, but nothing could keep her from peaking to satisfy her curiosity. Sneaking a quick glance from behind a large leafy tree, she spotted a figure moving in the water. Rin knew how cold the water could be this time of year. Whoever was swimming around was crazy, their skin would be on fire. She caught her breath when Kohaku emerged. His wet hair hung past his shoulders. Rin had never seen his hair down before, and she liked what she saw. She'd never seen Sesshomaru in such a private state. He would catch her before she even saw an inch of skin below the collar. Before she could turn around to walk back to the village, Kohaku began to make his way to the sandy shoulder or the shore. His body caught Rin's attention. She blushed hotly in spite of herself. He was just Kohaku.

Rin was getting older and the differences between men and women she hadn't noticed before became strikingly apparent. The poor girl felt embarrassed, and walked back down a game trail trying not to get caught by Kohaku.

It felt strange being attracted a boy Rin considered her older brother. He had grown so handsome and brave in such a short amount of time. He wasn't Sesshomaru though. No one was Sesshomaru, and no one could change the way she felt about the demon. She wanted him from the moment she saw him. It was that old adage: If she couldn't have him then she didn't want anyone else. It did not matter if he refused her, she couldn't love any other man the way she loved him.

She tried her luck at a another spot further down river and caught some very nice fish for the morning meal. The girl blushed inwardly when she spotted Kohaku coming back towards the dwellings. She muttered a muffled hello, and turned to the task of cooking breakfast in a fire pit located outside of Kaede's hut.

Rin had gotten over her shyness by the end of the day and felt saddened as she always did when Kohaku left two days later. Kagome had a successful birth at the beginning of winter and Rin busied herself with helping take care of Inuyasha's new baby girl, Tamako. The

winter moved along as festivals linked the cold weeks together and chased away some of the unrelenting boredom of being stuck inside for months on end. The women made crafts and new clothes for the village with pieces of fabric purchased from traveling merchants before the first major frost. Sango's twin girls were eager to begin learning some new skills to assist their mother in the many chores that seemed to fill her day. The men hunted small game and it was brought back and dried or smoked for use later on in the season. Rin taught the children of the village how to smoke fish and preserve them with sea salt acquired from a distilling trip to the ocean during the last summer.

The memory still felt fresh. It was all she had. Rin felt the sea spray on her face as the tide rose with every wave that broke on the pristine whitewashed shoreline. She jumped back as the water grew higher. Rin sunk into moist cool sand as the waves pulled weakly at her ankles. It was one of the last days of the trip and the distillers had been given the afternoon off to enjoy the shore. A wave came barreling towards the sand and Rin didn't anticipate it being so large. It knocked her off her feet, and down into to the loose soppy sand. The wave covered her and retreated as quickly as it had come. She was soaked and laughed whole heartedly smiling brightly back at Sesshomaru. He'd joined her that afternoon, enjoying the salty earthy breeze rolling off the sea.

The sun had begun it's short decent into evening. Rin wanted to watch the sunset with Sesshomaru. Jakken had eaten enough crab to kill a horse and was now enjoying a shellfish induced coma. It was nice to be just the two of them. She walked up the shore and sat next to Sesshomaru, who was resting comfortably in the warm sand with his back against a large round bolder. Even with the boulder and the sand giving off their heat, Rin still felt the chill of being soaked through. Sesshomaru noticed that Rin was shivering and he draped his fluffy tail on top of her. She quietly thanked him. The fur that covered her was so soft and warm. She rested her head against the fluff, and watched the sun sink into the ocean. The churning sea sparkled, changing color as the sun's rays were distorted in the atmosphere. Growing smaller and smaller, tinting the horizon scarlet and turning the sea gray green, the sun finally slipped away into the beginning of night. Their moment was over. The fur was pulled away, and the distance between Sesshomaru and Rin had returned. He left shortly after that, and Rin joined Inuyasha and the others for a dinner of seafood stew. That was a favorite memory of Sesshomaru Rin never shared with anyone. It was a private happy thought that got her the cold lonely winter.

Even with all the activity that kept Rin busy, she still longed for Sesshomaru to come back and never leave again. Hopefully he found what he was looking for and would be back by the start of spring to see that Rin had started the process of growing into a woman. During the winter she shot up four inches and her curves began to fill out. Kagome even helped her dress up for New Year's and the young men in the village that barely noticed her that same time last year were commenting on how grown up she was looking. Kohaku's rouge only helped the girl to realize her potential. Rin was on her way to becoming a striking beauty.

Spring came on early, and Rin had nearly completed her training. She'd be 15 this year, and would be considered adult enough to handle administering care to the sick and the wounded. She'd be able to assist Kaede and Kagome when they went to provide medicine to neighboring villages. Although Rin didn't trust humans in general she still felt a strong conviction to help those in need.

The days grew longer and warmer. Rin began to feel desperate. It had been almost a year since she had seen Sesshomaru last. Did he still think about her? She thought about him everyday it seemed. "Where are you Lord Sesshomaru?" She whispered, as she scanned the sky for him.

Kohaku made his first visit to the village half way through the summer. He was surprised to see the change in Rin "You've grown so much, I was barely able to recognize you."

"Kohaku, you're embarrassing me." The girl said chuckling trying to push down the hot blush that was coloring her face. All the new attention was so sudden. She was still young and prone to feeling awkward and self conscience even if her looks and body said other wise. She caught Kohaku staring at her from time to time during his visit. The nature of her relationship with the boy hadn't changed, but Rin noticed he wanted to talk with her more, and that he stood closer to her than he usually would. Kohaku stayed in the village longer than he had since beginning slaying demons. The time Rin spent with him was invaluable in helping cure the blues that had set in towards the middle of the summer. They ran and played together in the sunshine. They spent many days swimming, gathering leaves, roots, and flowers that were to be dried and turned into medicine during the autumn, cooking out, and watching the long hot days fizzle into humid starry nights. Feeling alive again was refreshing for Rin who had the last year of her life pass by. The day Sesshomaru left, something inside Rin shut down and Kohaku seemed to get her smile working again.

One night Kohaku and Rin were sitting out by the Bone Eater's well watching the fireflies dance around advertising for mates. The pair had been quiet for a while and Rin broke the silence with concerns that she dare not share with anyone. "Do you think he'll come back Kohaku?" Rin looked a million miles away as she absentmindedly pulled grass from the ground.

"I'm certain he will. But how long are you willing to wait for Lord Sesshomaru to return?" Kohaku's voice deepened.

"As long as it takes." Rin sighed.

"Don't you ever wish to have a regular life-with a husband and children? Don't you want a home of your own?"

"Some part of me wants those things, but I believed fate matched Lord Sesshomaru and I together for a reason." She smiled wistfully remembering Kagome shared the same belief in fate that Rin did. "You'll hear the calling of fate someday Kohaku, and then you'll be swept away too. You'll know her when you see her." Kohaku responded to Rin's singsong melancholy tone with a well placed arm around the girl's shoulder. Rin leaned against the boy, welcoming the embrace. He placed a light kiss on the top of her head trying to soothe Rin's heartsickness. She didn't pull away or scold Kohaku for acting so brashly; the companionship he provided warmed Rin from the inside. They stayed together in the stillness of the night listening to the beings of the undergrowth call out to each other in the dark.

Rin looked up to the sky and spotted a shooting star and wished for Sesshomaru with all her heart. Kohaku made a wish too, but he knew that it would not be fulfilled, so he changed his request and asked for Rin's happiness. Kohaku felt certain that the red string of fate was tied between Rin and himself. Sesshomaru was so cold and he could never possibly understand what Rin needed. He'd was grateful to the demon in many ways, but he couldn't help but to see the error in Rin's infatuation. Perhaps one day she'd see the folly of wanting Sesshomaru. Kohaku was quite positive that Rin loved Sesshomaru, but he was not assured that Sesshomaru could or would ever love Rin the way she hoped he would.

Rin and Kohaku walked back to the village and said their farewells for the evening. The next morning Kohaku left with just an hour's notice claiming he'd been slacking on his duties as a slayer, but he promised to return by the fall.

Kohaku's absence left Rin feeling empty once again, but her resolve to complete all her training before she turned 15 became all the more imperative. She needed something to take her mind off of the wait for both Sesshomaru and Kohaku to return to the village.

One morning towards the end of the summer Rin awoke in a great mood. She'd dreamed of her lord and felt that he'd be back soon. She had been keeping a tally of the days after Kagome had told her that each earth year contained 365 days. She even showed Rin how to used the calendars that were available in the 21st century. By Kagome's estimate it was August, and the days were hazy and sweltering. Rin counted the hash marks she had made on a small piece of parchment with ink and a bamboo brush. It been 361 days since Sesshomaru had gone to the continent. As she went about her daily chores her elation at believing she'd see Sesshomaru again did not go unnoticed. Inuyasha commented that he hadn't seen her look so happy in a long time as he carted Tamako around on his back. Something about that day reminded the girl about the last time she saw the dog demon, but she was still startled when out of the clear blue mid day sky the figure of A-un descended from the west.

The beast landed in front of the girl who could not help but to embrace the two headed pack lizard whom she'd come to love. Jakken jumped off A-un with a bundle wrapped in silk. Rin's heart beat rapidly looking for Sesshomaru. "Hello Master Jakken, how are you?" The girl chirped rapidly.

"In a hurry girl, open the bundle." The little toad sounded flustered as usual, but his annoyance couldn't even kill the girl's euphoria. She opened the package as Jakken had instructed, and halfway into undoing the knot on the top of the silk bundle she asked the little demon where Lord Sesshomaru was.

"You actually believe he'd come to something as inconsequential as giving you a new kimono. And by the looks of you you've grown even taller and skinnier than before." The toad scoffed. Rin was used to Jakken's blunt words but this time her eyes began to well up. She attempted to swallow her tears and look away from the scrutinizing goblin. There were a few things in the bundle that Rin had not expected. Sesshomaru had sent along a string of red cultured pearls cast so they laid in short tiers, and a decorative comb for Rin's long thick hair. These were gifts you'd give to a woman Rin thought, but they didn't matter. The absence of Sesshomaru was breaking her heart. The new kimono was as lovely as the others she had been given by Sesshomaru. The creamy yellow of the silk would compliment her nicely, but the gesture felt empty to the girl.

"When will he return Master Jakken?" She said softly.

"You're an ungrateful girl. You have displayed not a single ounce of gratitude for the gifts that the master has sent for you." Jakken was angry at having to leave his master's side to bring his pet gifts in Sesshomaru's absence.

"I am very grateful." The girl said tearfully, "but I just want to see him even if it's only for a moment." She fell to her knees and leaned against A-un.

"Lord Sesshomaru's search is far more important than visiting you. Honestly I don't understand what he sees in you. You're a skinny homely human girl. You can offer him nothing. You have no power, and simply by being part of his life you burden him with rumors." Jakken's scathing appraisal of all things that made Rin reduced her to two inches tall. She clutched the parcel to her chest and got up drying her tears.

"I understand. Send Lord Sesshomaru my gratitude for the beautiful things and tell him that…" The girl wanted to say that she wouldn't bother Sesshomaru anymore, "tell him that I look forward to seeing him again." Her voice was terribly empty. She stroked A-un looking for a bit of comfort from the demonic animal who enjoyed her touch.

Jakken flew away as quickly as he had come and Rin was left behind with her package. Try as she might to stop them, her tears flowed liberally when she was alone. She pressed her face to the silk bundle and cried. Rin had dried her eyes and became angry for staining the kimono that Sesshomaru had sent for her with her tears. She walked slowly back to the village trying to suppress the hiccups that accompany such a release of intense emotion.

Kagome had caught some of the interchange looking for firewood to cook dinner with later that night. She came to the girl quickly, noting the dejected and hopeless look on the girl's face. "He didn't come back." was the only thing Rin could say before she headed off to her sleeping space in Kaede's hut. Kagome was taken back by the storm brewing behind Rin's eyes. She wanted to follow, but the girl had walked away so swiftly. Kagome thought it was best to leave her be until she sought someone out. The girl wasn't looking for consolation this time. She was looking for a place to be alone in her unhappiness and anger. "He doesn't care," the words ran through her head over and over again with each quick step to the hut. Rin was relieved to find the dwelling empty. She sat down on a long tatami mat thankful to be in the cool dim hut.

She spread out the kimono and took a look at it. It was more lavish than anything he had presented to her before. It was a kind of pearlescent yellow that could be found in the first flowers of spring complemented by a vibrant plumb colored obi. Perhaps she was growing older now and he realized that it was time he dressed her like a woman. Were the items simply meant as a parting gift? Her heart sank thinking that he was really writing her off. Couldn't he be bothered to even say his farewells properly? She fingered the fine pearls, their color was rare and exotic, and more than likely cost him a fortune in trade. The comb was exquisite as well. It was made of a fine dark lacquered wood with the image of a clear night full of stars depicted in cut moonstones over a waving sea made of small pearls.

She thought of the nights they had spent by their fire in contemplative silence. She would have rather been stargazing by his side. She stowed the gifts away not really wanting to show them to or discuss what had just happened to anyone. She was startled by a scratch at the privacy flap that separated Kaede's hut from the outside world. It was Kagome with a basket in one hand and Tamako in the other arm in the middle of a crying fit. Rin smiled attempting to hide the fact that she was upset.

"Would you mind going into the field just beyond the forest path. The berries there are ready to be picked and Tamako is just too fussy to go right now." Kagome sounded flustered swaying the baby on her hip.

Rin agreed to help gather the berries and took the basket from Kagome's hand. The sun shone brightly overhead as a hot breeze blew through her hair. She looked to the west and saw storm coming over the forest. She set out on the same path she had followed the last time she saw Sesshomaru. She felt like stopping off in the same hidden field of wild flowers, it seemed only appropriate. There was nothing wrong in reliving a memory.

She heard a commotion on the path a head of her, but she was not quick enough to avoid being seen by two bandits in the middle of a robbery. She veered off the path, dropping the basket and broke into run. She sprinted down a game trail disappearing to the center of the forest with her heart pounding loudly in her ears. The sound of people running after her pushed her on further. "What a pretty little thing." one of the bandits called after her. She was running as fast as she could, kicking the cumbersome sandals off of her feet so she could go faster. She was breathing heavily with sweat pouring down her brow. Please help me Lord Sesshomaru! She called for him again and again her mind. Kohaku! She knew the men were still after her and that she might not be swift enough to get away. She looked for a place to hide.

The trees of this forest were ancient and wound around each other fighting for sunlight. Many stood hollowed from the inside providing shelter in the downpours that hit the country from time to time. She scoured the area, nearly out of breath when she found the perfect spot. If Sesshomaru were here, this wouldn't have happened. Rin would be safe and happy, but there was no Sesshomaru to save her now. She was so deep into the forest that even Inuyasha couldn't hear her call. She ran to an old tree and crawled into it's depths. She balled herself up trying to conceal her body. The space was tight, and there was no hope for the girl. The bandits had spotted her white yukata adorned with blood red poppies and geraniums from far away. The sound of feet coming her direction made her spring from her hiding place and attempt to run away again. Unfortunately, her efforts were useless. She was grabbed bodily by one of the men. He was much larger than she, and his strength was evident in the way he handled her fragile frame. He began to fondle her mercilessly, and the brains of the operation came over and yanked Rin from the strong man's grasp.

"Not this one." The smaller man growled, appraising Rin as he held her wrist above head. She saw heat behind his eyes when the man looked her up and down. Her smooth skin shone with the glistening sweat that clung to her body. The apples of her cheeks flushed. Her hair clung to her skin and face in a tussled mess. The thin yukata was snatched open during the run in exactly all the right places. Rin felt the flame of rage run through her, and she swiped at the man's face catching him across the cheek with sharp nails. He took the blow as he tossed disheveled Rin back at his cohort. "She's worth more to the Madame intact." The Large man pulled Rin towards an over turned cart. The first thing Rin noticed on the trail ahead of her was a dead woman, her garments ripped from her body to suit the men's needs. Next was the wreckage of ambushed cart full of wares. The older man who had been driving the cart had his death dealt to him swiftly from a slice to the abdomen with a sharp blade. He'd tumbled from the cart with his guts spilling out around him in dirt. Rin's heart filled with terror as she remembered the death of her family. Bandits, those filthy pack animals, they'd stolen everything from her. First her family, and now her freedom. She assumed that they'd plan to sell her. To whom? She did not know, but she was afraid to find out.

The bandits tied her writs to the larger man's belt. Rin knew she couldn't over power either of them, and the larger man would have a lot less trouble with restraining her.

They packed up the assorted items from the cart that they knew would bring them a quick buck on the black market. The day had turned into dusk during all the chaos, and Rin felt uncertain of what the future held. She prayed for her safety as the cart rattled away with her included in the wears. It seemed only fitting, for she had a price now as well.

The storm she had saw forming to the west had now covered the forest and released a deluge upon the treetops. The loud sound of rain drops racing to earth in sheets on the canvas of the cart lulled the girl into a light dreamy doze. She was so tired, her emotions were exhausted, and she longed more than ever to see Sesshomaru, and to tell him how she felt. To tell him that she loved him more than anything. She wouldn't care if did not feel the same way, or that her human emotions might repulse him. She wanted him to know because she was afraid she'd never see him again.

The girl had slept through the night, and the two men had stopped for breakfast consisting of dried fish and sake. Rin was offered a meager portion of the men's meal. She wasn't hungry though she ate mindlessly. Rin discovered that the smaller man called himself Osamu, and the giant of a man was named Sakai. Sakai was built larger than any human Rin had ever seen. He had a mean stupid look in his eye and spoke slowly if at all. He looked Rin up and down all day long as the cart moved on through the countryside. They were headed far north, farther than Rin had ever been with Sesshomaru. On their second night on the road, the three broke for camp. The men never addressed her and Rin wondered how many women they had smuggled this way. When they turned in for bed that night, Sakai demanded that Rin sleep next to him. She was untied from Osamu and passed off to Sakai. He pulled her down to the ground with him and she was forced to lie next to him throughout the night as he rubbed his fully erect penis on her. Osamu slept on without a clue. Sakai whispered in her ear, "If Osamu can't catch a good price for you, you'll be coming with us again. If anything happens" he paused for a moment, pulling her tighter to his body, "well, that will be your fault, won't it?" She could hear the smile in his voice. She closed her eyes shut tight trying not to cry. "Please help me Sesshomaru." She screamed in her mind.


	4. Chapter 4

-1Chapter 4: The Temple

"Hana!" A voice called out. The young girl ran to the man with a wide smile on her face.

"What's that you have there Koji?" The girl saw a tiny jet black foal pulled on a tether by the man. He was the one who had given her name after discovering Hana abandoned on the bank of the river so badly injured. Someone or something had attacked her and left her for dead. He had taken her in like his own sister. He was an attractive young monk and reminded her of someone she once knew. She felt happy and at piece around him. He was the first monk at the temple to get her to speak. He was also the first monk at the temple to make her laugh. Hana liked him very much, but every time she felt an attraction to him, her heart just couldn't do it. Why did she feel like she was cheating on someone. Perhaps she had a sweetheart somewhere in the fog of her memory.

"I purchased her for long journeys. Aki is getting towards the end of her life, and I felt a new horse would allow the old girl to move on to greener pastures." Hana smiled happily when she touched the little horse's nose affectionately.

"What's her name Koji?" She asked hoping that he hadn't named the little mare yet.

"You can name her if you want Hana." The man stroked the little dark horse's mane and she reciprocated, warming to the man's touch.

"Hotaru." Hana's dark eyes twinkled as she thought of the name. Summer nights were her favorite after all. He always appeared in her dreams under a full moon. Who was the man in white? Was he a memory of her past?

"Hana I haven't seen you smile so much in the time you've been here. You may take care of this little horse as if she were your own if it makes you happy." He'd planned on giving Hana the horse anyway. He couldn't help but to indulge her. This was her, the real Hana. He wished he would have known her then. The girl was so grateful. She hugged the kindly priest, and thanked him profusely. From that day on, the girl's thoughts became possessed with training the young horse.

The little dark horse loved the girl with the great fervor that an animal has for it's master. Hana did not view the horse as a pet however, Hotaru gave the girl a reason to be happy in her new home. Hotaru was Hana's salvation from the stringent rules of the temple.

All the girls of the temple were required to do mandatory purifications whether the weather was in climate or not. In the dead of winter as far north as Hana was living, the cold could be unrelenting. A majority of running water sources in the area froze. That did not stop the Head Priest from demanding that the women of the temple find a source to purify themselves with. The girl's proved their piety by providing the temple with a sample from where they did their ritualistic cleansing. They had to do this each and every night before being let back into the temple.

The Head Priest insisted that the water that flowed over the land had the power to cleanse the soul and ward away demons. The mountain on which Hana lived was a perfect place for a holy temple. Every square inch of the mountain was purified, but some places, such as where the temple was built radiated immense amounts of positive energy.

As Hotaru grew up, so did Hana. She had blossomed into full womanhood by her 17th year, and many of the young priests that frequented the temple felt the temptation of having her near. Her ebony hair had grown long and glossy framing her delicate face. Her eyes were kind and sparkled beautifully when she was amused or driven by her passions. Her skin had a healthy honeyed hue to it, and her high cheekbones were full with a lusty flush to them. Her full lips looked as if they were sweet to the taste. She was quite the woman, but her courageousness and her self sufficiency were what really won people over to her.

She still maintained her knowledge of plants and her ability to cure the sick. She had been teaching Taki, a girl who arrived at the temple about the same time Hana did. Taki was a bit of a wall flower and insisted that no man would want her. She said that no amount of washing would ever make her pure. She looked just fine to Hana. She was a fair skinned girl with a classic beauty to her. She had dark thick hair, and almond shaped eyes which captivated those who looked into them. She was unusually soft hearted and remarkably loyal. She wasn't as lovely as Hana, but many men tried to court her. They didn't want her for long after the Head priest discussed the terms on which she had come to the temple.

Hana had gained the confidence of the Head priest, and traveled around doing business in his stead. She felt wonderful about all her accomplishments, but there was something still missing, and she could never quite figure it out.

One afternoon after riding Hotaru around for exercise, she saw the Head priest followed by a number of gentlemen dressed as if they had a lot of money to throw around. She could see a number of them with smug looks, turning their nose up at the meager house of worship. She rode back to the temple and placed Hotaru in the stables. She entered the temple and ran into Taki, flustered by all the excitement. "Taki are you okay? What's going on?"

"I'd heard rumors from the other girls who've been here for a while. They say that these men purchase brides from the temple. This temple brags about having the purest maidens in the land willing to do anything for rich life. It attracts slovenly war lords looking to deflower virgins."

Hana understood the girl's concern. She didn't want any man she saw even if they wanted her. Many had asked for her hand in marriage time and time again, but she flat out refused every one of them.

"I can't believe the head priest is going to sell us." Hana was beginning to understand why he shooed away any men coming to visit the various women living in the temple. He claimed that the women could not be tempted while receiving their spiritual training. She believed it was a lot of superstitious washing and starvation for a god that never answered. "I thought he wanted us pure of heart and ready for the spirit world." Hana stated feeling angry and cheated. Taki shook her head.

"Keeping us cooped up was the only way he could prove that we were pure. He'll probably sell you to the highest bidder Hana." Taki narrowed her eyes. "I have a feeling those men might be here for you."


	5. What's your Name?

-1Chapter 5: What is your Name?

He'd been gone for two years. He'd looked for it, a relic, an ancient stone, a magic elixir and returned with nothing, yet, he had found his answer. What Sesshomaru sought after didn't exist. He was on his way back as he had promised, and he knew she would be there. She always managed to return to him. As A-un raced past him to the village he recognized immediately by it's scent, Sesshomaru sensed something was wrong. Rin's scent was very faint. Her essence lingered on a dead scent coming from Kaede's small hut. When he swooped down, it was Kagome who had come out to greet him. A small golden eyed little girl trailed behind her. Sesshomaru presumed the child belonged to the woman and Inuyasha.

"You came back." Kagome sounded astonished.

"Where's Rin?" Sesshomaru said coldly, still expecting the girl to run to him.

"She disappeared about a year after you left." She began slowly, sympathizing with the demon. "We've looked and looked, and only turned up the basket she left with and the shoes she was wearing that day. Further down the road, bandits had robbed and murdered a pair of merchants. We think they took her." Her tone was hollow. "A heavy rain fall masked her scent, and we haven't been able locate her since then. We still search for her, but it's as if she's disappeared." She stopped and met Sesshomaru's eyes. "She never even tried on the kimono you sent for her."

"You haven't looked hard enough then." Sesshomaru hissed softly. "Jakken head north with A-un. I'll head south. Do not return to me until you find her, or I will kill you." As soon as Sesshomaru barked the orders he flew off again. A-un's nose was much more sensitive than Jakken's and would help him find the girl or her remnants faster than trailing leads on foot.

Autumn had come early, and the leaves had begun to change color in the golden September sunlight. The water was beginning to run cold those days, and Hana who wasn't particularly interested in purifying, skipped her purification for the first time in almost two years. She rested on the large flat rocks that lined the girl's favorite purification pool, hoping to suck up some of the heat the stone had trapped from the sun. A-un caught the scent of something familiar. He pursued the odor rapidly soaring over the changing broad leafed trees. The pack lizard landed gracefully and began moving slowly towards the scent as Jakken had instructed.

The little green goblin heard a familiar song. It was Rin's song, they had found her. Jakken was feeling pretty proud and bold. He strode directly out of the foliage and presented himself to the girl. "You there girl!" As soon as Hana looked at him her dark eyes narrowed in a furious anger. She threw a heavy grapefruit sized rock at Jakken hitting him right in the face and screamed, "I'll send you to hell you damnable little toad! I may not have any spiritual power but I'll end you if you don't leave my sight now!" Jakken retreated back into the bushes not forgetting to grab the stone which had fresh sample of Rin's scent. The goblin hopped on A-un and commanded the flying beast take him to Sesshomaru immediately. The beast took him south quickly. Jakken was looking forward to being praised for finding the girl so quickly.

He caught up to Sesshomaru flying far south of Kaede's village. "Lord Sesshomaru!" Jakken shouted his name trying to catch up with the demon. "I have proof she's still alive." The toad threw the stone with Rin's scent on it to his master. "But she's not the same. You think if she was still alive she would have returned to Kaede's village. And she called me damnable toad and said she was going to send me to hell." Sesshomaru clutched the stone tightly.

"Is that so? Where is the village?" Jakken told him the village was far north and had large amounts of purified energy emanating from it.

"I felt sickened by the area." Jakken griped.

"Then I shall go alone." Sesshomaru spoke calmly. "Stay in the village until I return. A-un stay."

Sesshomaru took off from the village and headed north. It would be more than a day until he could reach her. He could not fly with the speed which A-un possessed, but something told him he must retrieve the girl alone. What had happened to Rin to make the girl forget herself?

Sesshomaru thought about his long journey on the continent. He'd spent a good deal of his life there because he could not find a home in his own country. On this trip, everything felt foreign as if something was missing. He knew it was the girl. She could not come, he knew couldn't keep her safe or alive forever.

He reconsidered her welfare in the hands of Inuyasha and his people. They'd given up on really searching for her, a fellow human being who'd gone missing, and truthfully it did not surprise Sesshomaru. If they could quit looking for her so quickly, he understood what she meant when she said she'd rather not live with humans again. He made a nonstop flight to be where she was, looking to return her to his side. She made him happy, content. The part in his soul that raged for power forgot about the fight when she was close. The last afternoon he spent with Rin was the only day he recalled feeling at peace since going to the continent.

That scent! Sesshomaru had been flying for hours and suddenly the girl was with in arms reach. The chill in the air hit him directly in the face as he descended to the ground. He'd followed his keenest sense, and he'd know Rin's scent anywhere. She was at the same pool where Jakken had been driven away by her threats of death. "Suzuki, you know the rules. One purification per pool." Hana spoke in a deep voice with a mock authority.

"I'm just going to get a scoop from this one. I don't know how you manage to get into that freezing water on days like this."

"If you are tempted by some demon with smoldering eyes and an amazing body, don't cry to the priests when he's left you pregnant and condemned for the rest of your life. Go do your purification okay?" Hana said to the young girl as she stepped into the pool that grew deeper in the center. Suzuki nodded her head in sulky agreement. The girl walked slowly away from the pool on a path down hill to another pool that was open for cleansing. Sesshomaru edged closer to the place where purified water had collected. These pools were filled to the brim with purified water which was lethal to demons if exposed to it long enough. The purity of water came from a supernatural source. A blessed deity slumbered below the mountain. Each and every item on the mountain was purified by the energy emanating from the giant force sleeping under a blanket of sediment and rock.

She stepped off a smooth ledge to the center of the pool. Rin was nowhere to be found for half a second. With a push off of the smooth polished bottom she reemerged from beneath the water with a sharp gasp. When she waded to a spot that was waist high, she ladled scoops of icy water over her head, washing away her scent. Sesshomaru now understood why Inuyasha and his friends could not locate the girl. She was purified. Sesshomaru watched as the water splashed over her firm body. She was dressed ritualistically in white, and her wet clothes clung to her shapely torso. Her long dark hair took on an icy shine and her skin became flushed in response to the frigid dousing. She had finished rinsing and shook her head to stop the hair from clinging to her face. She moved towards the edge of the pool to get out and change into warm dry clothing. Sesshomaru moved closer still. Rin heard a faint movement from the deep woods that surrounded the pool. She stopped, and in a whisper asked, "who's there?". She saw a white flash in the corner of her eye and began to breathe heavily.

"Sess…sess", tumbled from her mouth before she fainted, slipping beneath the water. Sesshomaru had a hell of a time retrieving her from the purified liquid, but he did what needed to be done. When she was yanked from the water, she coughed up a good deal of what she had swallowed when she swooned, and was carried away to a more suitable place to dry out.

She did not understand where she was, but she knew that a very warm man had her in his arms, carrying her away. The man from her dreams. She felt safe and drifted away again into abysmal unconsciousness. The sun had sunk low in the sky and no longer warmed the forest. Sesshomaru curled Rin's frigid little frame close to his chest as the temperature dropped.

He happened upon a large cave hollowed out of a rounded hillside. It's entrance went down a way and opened up into a comfortable den that had been used by a variety of animals, but luckily none had been there recently. He laid the girl on the ground, and with a quick opening of his palm, a small phosphorus green bit of light floated in mid air. He repeated the trick a number of times. The cave was well lit now, and he was able to see the girl up close for the first time since he'd left. She was quiet lovely. She was a cute child, but he never imagined she'd grow up to be a beautiful woman. She was well developed as well. Her lips unfortunately were turning a dangerous shade of purplish blue, and her skin had lost much of it's color. He knew unless he warmed her up, the consequence of remaining soaked and frozen through would be death .

He untied the knot in the front of her clothing and loosened it off of her shoulders. A soaking wrap that held her young full breasts in place left little to the imagination. He unraveled that from her chest and felt something different about the girl he'd known for so long. He felt a desire for her that ran through him with much ferocity. Lifting her up he discovered that at some point in time she had been lashed very severely and her back was covered in the remnants of a terrible whipping. He undid the soaking pants as well. She wore a small tightly drawn loin cloth to cover her most private of areas. He left that on the girl out of respect. He undid his protective armor, and removed his shirt. He put the large shirt around the girl and pulled her body close as possible to his. Her smooth skin felt frozen against his hot sinewy torso. Once he felt the girl was warm enough to be left for a few moments, he laid her on the ground wrapped in his top, and spread her spiritual garments out on the ground to dry. A heavy and unexpected rain began to fall outside the cave, and he knew they would be together for the night. He returned the girl to his lap and rested her head against his chest. He felt odd, but strangely alright with the situation. He had Rin back, and that was all that mattered.

Sesshomaru had fallen asleep. He had his piece of mind in his hands. The girl awoke surprised by her surroundings, and even more surprised to be in the arms of a man, no, a demon! The girl shoved herself away from Sesshomaru quickly jolting him awake. She jumped up and ran to the dark entrance of the cave pushing her way out into the frozen downpour; slipping down the hill side in the cold slimy muck. Sesshomaru sprang after her. Pulling her filthy, half-naked, kicking body back into the warmth and safety of the cave. "Please don't devour my soul demon!" She screamed as he flung her into the soft dust that lined the bottom of the small shelter. He landed in front of her, looking ominous with his bare torso dripping in the green glow of his magic lights. She felt many things about Sesshomaru in that moment and all of them terrified her. He was striking, dangerous, and overwhelmingly alluring to the girl. Demon's were designed to trick humans into temptations that Rin couldn't even imagine. Or that's what she was told by the monks and priests of the temple.

He remained silent. He eyed the girl up and down, noting that even covered in mud and distressed that she was the most enchanting human woman he'd ever seen. His eyes narrowed and he spoke.

"When the rain clears, we will leave here Rin."

"I'm not Ri…" She wasn't certain that that wasn't the truth. It seemed so familiar. This man, she'd seen him before, known him before. That couldn't be possible though, she'd never seen him. He was a stranger.

A little girl appeared in her mind's eye. She resembled and did not resemble the woman, and this demon was there, looking directly into her eyes.

"What is your name child?" The girl paused as if trying to remember how to speak.

"M…my name is…Rin." She smiled in response. Was Hana's real name Rin? The girl tightened the shirt about herself. It was made of fine well crafted silk. She'd never worn anything so soft or comfortable. She got up and walked barefoot to the edge of the cave. She stood listening to the heavy rain flooding the dark forest and knew it was hopeless to leave even if she tried to. Hana wasn't sure she if that's exactly what she really wanted to do. She noticed her ceremonial garments were lain out to dry and appreciated the demon more at that point. He'd moved back to the lights and was sitting in the dust of the cave. He looked directly at her and she felt a shiver run down her spine. She came closer to him, and sat in the dust as well. She looked around for a while for tinder, hoping to start a fire. The cave wasn't damp, but it was chilly.

The girl attempted to avoid Sesshomaru's questioning gaze as she perked up finding a pit constructed for making fires in the depths of the cave. She got up moving towards it and was pleased to see that a large charred log barely on it's way to ashes filled the pit. A small collection of sticks were also available to feed a fledgling fire. She moved the log aside as she put her tinder in a pile and struck two stones over the center of the pit together hoping they'd catch on the dried broken slivers of wood. A small wisp of smoke escaped from the pile and she blew softly on the wood to get the flame to take. She threw bigger pieces of wood on the fire watching it grow and lick it's way from end to end before placing the large log on top of the growing flames. The fire consumed the bottom of the log, enveloping the piece of wood hungrily. She sat with her back to the demon. Her palms were open to the fire and she spoke for the first time since he had indicated that he knew who she might be. "What do you want from me demon?" Her voice was cold as if his mere presence disgusted her. She had never referred to him as anything but Lord Sesshomaru before.

"You disappeared quite some time ago from a village far south. You don't belong here." His voice was smooth like glass. It was pleasant to listen to. She wanted to believe him.

"You know where I came from? You know about my people?" She sounded disparate for some scrap that would jog her memory so she could go back to this village he spoke of. She thought for a half a second. "Why did you come and not one of my family members?"

"You have no family Rin." There was no sympathy in his tone, nothing that could reveal how he felt about his young ward.

"Then who are you? If you don't mind me asking." She grew more timid, something about his demeanor seemed very impregnable. "How do you know me?"

"My name is Sesshomaru and whether I chose it or not, you have become my responsibility." Every time he spoke more and more questions arose in her mind. How did she come to be in his care? "I am leaving at daybreak. Come with me if you so choose." The girl felt no love for this demon. Why should she follow him? She began to resent his forwardness. One would think that if he actually cared for the girl he'd be more excited at seeing that she was alive and well. The girl said nothing and returned to her fire, lying down trying to ignore the demon watching over her. She could feel his eyes on her body.

"Do you have any idea how I came to live at the temple Sesshomaru?" It felt nice to have her call him by his name instead of demon. She wanted to trust him. Something about him made her feel like he was telling the truth.

"I was on the continent for two years and when I returned you were already missing. I have no knowledge of how or why you ended up so far north." He was just as confused as the girl to what could have transpired in the time she had been absent from Kaede's village. Some part of her desired to follow the demon, but another part of her wanted to know how and why she had come to live at the temple. Her past seemed so hush hush among those who were there before she arrived. She couldn't ask him to stay just long enough to get the answers she was looking for, or could she?

The rain sounded like it was letting up and the trek back to the village wouldn't be so slippery and dangerous in a few hours. The probability that he knew where she had come from increased. Sesshomaru had given her the choice on whether or not she'd be going with him. He was powerful enough to force her if he wanted, but he let her make the decision to trust him. She thought about how much he looked like the man in her dreams as she drifted off to sleep.

Before she knew it, daybreak had come and Sesshomaru left as he had promised. Her clothes were now completely dry, but he allowed her to keep the article of clothing he had let her borrow. Rin had redressed with only the dying embers of her fire to light the small space. She found her way out into a warm and brilliant fall morning. She didn't know what to do with the demon's shirt, so she folded it up and left it on rock near the entrance of the cave. She was certain he'd come back for it. He wasn't clothed in much else except for the white fur he draped over his shoulder.

She wished she could have thanked Sesshomaru for saving her life. She worried that she might never see him again, and she prayed for good fortune in his travels. Luckily for the girl, Sesshomaru was persistent, and just as anxious to know how she ended up forgetting who she was.

The purified energy that the mountain put off was hard on Sesshomaru's body. He rested often, and had a feeling that he could coerce the girl to come home within a matter of days without many complications, or much of a fight. He followed Rin hiding the shadows of the woods that kept the temple separate from a brothel built at the base of the mountain. When she reached the temple gates, people ran to her very worried asking if she was alright.


	6. Demon

-1Chapter 6: Demon

"Hana!" The head priest was falling all over himself with anger at the girl. "Where have you been!"

"I was purifying and I got caught in the rain too far from the village. I took refuge in a cave. The rain didn't let up until very late last night, and by that point it wasn't safe for me to come home. I'm sorry for worrying you." Rin spat out quickly afraid of the discipline that the head priest was so fond of.

"Never mind that! Wash up girl! Quickly! We have found the perfect suitor to come and take you away so that you can spread the word of Buddha to his very influential family. He saw you from afar and could not stop talking about you." The priest rubbed his little hands together and shooed Rin into the depths of the temple for a bath. She was muddy, covered in grime and smelled like a campfire. Taki prepared a bath for the girl, and was surprised when Rin grabbed her wrists with a very serious look in her eyes.

"Taki, you're my best friend and you would tell me the truth if I asked you to right?" Taki didn't understand where this was going, but she wanted to help Hana the best she could.

"Of course, I'll tell you anything you want to know." Taki was so sincere. She waited for Rin to begin.

"I don't remember arriving here, but I do remember a man. He lives in my dreams. Last night he visited me and saved me from drowning in the purification pool."

"Hana what is the man's name?" Something in the girl's tone let Rin know Taki understood what she was talking about.

"Sesshomaru." Rin said in a very low voice. "Why can't I remember him Taki? He obviously knows who I am." Taki froze for a second, thinking about all the ramifications of telling Rin what she knew. She closed her eyes and began.

"When you arrived here with me from the brothel at the bottom of the mountain you were screaming his name and lashing out at everyone who was trying to take care of you. You demanded your freedom so you could pursue him." Rin sat wide eyed.

"Why can't I remember him Taki?" Sesshomaru listened on as the two girls spoke hoping to fill in the blanks himself.

"The head priest of this temple exercised him from your mind." Taki's tone was sorrowful. "I wasn't allowed to talk to you about this or I'd be lashed just as severely as you had been. I am afraid of the Head priest."

"I understand." Rin admitted knowing it took strength for Taki to confess the horrible things he had done. "What do you mean by exercise him from my mind?"

"He meant to have you recant fully. He believed beatings and torture would do it, but you would not give up your loyalty to the demon. It infuriated the priest." Taki had begun to tear up and she proceeded on.

"He lashed you, burned you, and half drowned you. And in

all the chaos and exhaustion you forgot who you were. You would rather forget your lord than recant him. I wish I had that strength." Sesshomaru listened silently in a violent rage. Rin had gone through so much suffering because she could not forget him. He felt a burning shame for allowing her to go through that ordeal at all. He had been chasing something that didn't exist to fit his needs while she had been fighting to keep the only thing she had.

"Why was I at a brothel? Am I…still a virgin?" Rin was concerned that men had used her. She feared Sesshomaru wouldn't forgive her if he found out that she was defiled and unclean.

"Of course you are." Taki's soft voice reassured Rin. "You were marketed as a pure maiden to be sold to the highest bidder. I was there when that large foreign man purchased you. The madam painted you up." As Taki told the story, and events began to unfold in the girl's mind, and she felt as if she were in a lucid dream, as if she were still in the brothel.

The old madame who's face was painted up to make her look young did nothing but exacerbate that she was much older than she said.

"Listen here girly, you belong to me now. You understand?" Rin had been mute since she was kidnapped a little ways outside the village. "That's alright, the less you talk, the quicker you get this job done." The woman said as she finished the last touches on Rin's hair and make up. She was painted to look like a Geisha which stole from her real beauty. Her long thick hair was elaborately done in pins with tiny metal flowers that flowed like a wind chimes with every moment of the girl's head. She felt very uncomfortable and nervous. The madam left without a word and a large pale foreign man entered with a bored mean look in his eyes. He came to the girl quickly, skipping all the hospitalities provided by the brothel. He missed out on the tea and conversation that usually accompanied all the terrible things he wanted to do to his little virgin. He figured that since she was a whore that she should get used to being used like one right off the bat. He put his big slobbery mouth on her. His breath and body smelt like garbage and his clothes were dirty, but he was willing to pay the price for her, so the madam saw no problem with a little vocational experience. He slobbered on her neck and forced her to the flat tatami mat. He wanted her now. Rage rose in the girl. Thinking quickly, with one of her free hands, she grabbed a sharp pin that held her hair in place and screamed, "Only Lord Sesshomaru can have me!"

"You screamed that over and over again." Taki was speaking quickly trying not to forget a single detail. "I don't blame you for what happened next." Taki commented with a little smile on her face. Rin drove the sharp pin directly into the piggish foreigner's eye when he came up for a breath of air. He drew back from the girl, painfully covering his blinded eye. Rin stabbed him in the guts with all her might. The filthy man fell to the ground writing in pain, covered in his own blood trying to grab at the girl smearing her with his blood. Rin screamed again, her hair was wild with the foreign man's blood all over her hand and the front of her cheep gaudily colored kimono. She screamed that only Lord Sesshomaru may touch her with a blood curdling ferocity, alerting the other whores and their patrons, and finally the madam to the chaos transpiring in the room.

The madam had to slap the girl across the mouth to get her to snap out of her shock. Her hand was still tightly wrapped around her weapon. "If you give me to another man." The girl began, she had broken her silence. "I will kill him. Only Lord Sesshomaru can touch me!" The girl did not feared nothing including physical punishment or death.

"And who is this Sesshomaru?" The madam quipped.

"He is a very dangerous and murderous demon that will slaughter and feast upon all who reside in this brothel." Rin was quite serious.

"Is that so." The madam scoffed. "Then where is he now?" The girl looked far away and wondered the same thing. He could have stopped all of this.

"He may not be here now, but I swear to you if he ever finds out about what you planned on doing with me, he will tear the beating heart out of your old dried up body." Rin was quite resolute in the faith she had in Sesshomaru. The madam had the foreign man moved to another room and had a doctor called to treat him. The madam believed the girl standing in front of her was being honest and knew exactly what to do with her. There was a place more terrible than the brothel for girls with no home. The head priest of the temple above the brothel was called to take the girl away for some sound religious intervention.

"I was a dud as well." Taki admitted. "I always cried when men paid for me. The madam said she had no place for a woman who couldn't please her customers and she sent me with you to the temple. After you had been exercised, I am the one who nursed you back to health." Rin nodded, remembering everything including stabbing the large man multiple times. She remembered feeling like a trapped animal and the only way to gain her freedom was to strike at anyone who tried to stop her. These people had taken her against her will with the intent to sell her until she couldn't be sold anymore. Her hatred for these people covered up any guilty deeds she might have commited in her struggle to be free.

Sesshomaru had come for her and she refused him. She only hoped he would stay long enough so that she may make her journey home. Rin hugged the girl and promised to keep Taki's admission secret.

Rin was prepped and dressed for her meeting with the suitor that the Head priest had chosen. She wore a intricately decorated midnight blue kimono which accented her feminine appeal. Her suitor gave her the once over more than she liked before she had even sit down. He licked his lips, daydreaming of all positions he'd see her in after they were wed.

All her thoughts were turned to Sesshomaru though. He was the missing piece in her life. She knew that as soon as he realized she had gone missing he was in hot pursuit. While she nodded graciously at the man considering making her his bride, she plotted her escape as soon as she was able. The man was much older than Rin, had a taste for sake and ogling the various women serving him. He'd made his fortune in the trade of violence and dirtying his hands for other people who couldn't do it themselves. She had learned his name, but it wasn't important for her to remember, she'd be long gone before he'd have a chance to spirit her away.

She was disgusted with the Head priest for selling her to the highest bidder as the madam had attempted to do. The name that had been given to her was repeated continuously until she responded with a jolt. "Oh yes, I agree the weather can be quite temperamental on the mountain." She merely parroted back what her suitor had assessed trying to keep up with the dull and mundane conversation. She was relieved when she was excused from the gathering, nodding her farewells to the priest, her suitor and his sycophantic band of lackeys comprised of petty thugs. They were sorting out the details of the marriage, namely the asking price and how quickly the girl could be taken away before the first heavy snow fell on the mountain. Heaven forbid her suitor would have to remain on that god forsaken mountain as he put it.

Rin scurried down the hallway to the room which she and Taki shared. Taki had already gone to bed and was startled to see Rin packing in a hurry. The full moon shone brightly through the slats on a blind pulled to provide the girl's with a small amount of privacy. "Hana what are you doing?" Taki whispered in a hiss.

"I'm going to seek out Sesshomaru. He found me once. I believe he will come for me again." Rin said hurriedly. "I have no intention of staying to marry that bloated greasy pig."

"What if you get caught? The head priest is ruthless with his punishments." Rin smiled at Taki thankful for her concern.

"I will take that risk. I have friends and loved ones to the south that are waiting for me to come home." Rin continued to pack. Taki got up and helped her put things in a makeshift sack made from an old piece of fabric. Rin gave the girl an embrace and thanked her for her help. She told Taki that she would be leaving in the dead of night when the last stirrings of the temple had ceased. The walls of the temple unfortunately were paper thin, and a neighboring temple girl who hadn't been particularly fond of Hana found the information necessary to impart on the head priest.

"Are you certain she was seeking out a man named Sesshomaru?" A demon was lurking close to the temple and Hana had lied to the Head priest about what had transpired the night before. After shooing the little tattle tale away, he began gathering what he would need to destroy Hana's demon in front of her. He wanted to break the small portion of her spirit still clinging to the damned beast.

Rin waited a hour or so after all the candles had been snuffled around the temple to make her escape. She tip toed to the exterior of the temple, and made the last minute decision to take Hotaru with her. She loved her beautiful ebony horse and refused to leave her behind. She pulled the horse from the stable by the reigns and began towards the edge of the forest leading to her freedom.

"Where do you think you're going Hana?" The voice of the Head priest cut through the silence of the chilly night. "Get back inside and return-" A flash of white in the moonlight cut between the girl and the head priest. Rin turned to look in the direction of the priest and saw Sesshomaru standing in front of her. He was growling and a very sinister and evil energy surged from the figure and ran through her body like static electricity. The Head priest had many other priests with him as if he expected something to transpire. Rin hadn't been careful enough, but some part of her longed to confront the evil and arrogant man that had stolen away her memories with his malicious intentions.

The Head priest was as fearless as the demon and ran towards the girl chanting incantations. Sesshomaru moved to intercept the man, but was surprised when a number of glinting lacquered black beads gathered into a collar of divine healing around his neck. The Head priest was equally as surprised when Sesshomaru's claws sliced his throat open cleanly with the precision of a surgical tool. The priest's blood sprayed in sheets upon Sesshomaru. Rin gasped as the priest collapsed to the earth in a crumpled heap. His still open eyes stared blankly at Rin. She felt pity for the priest and was trapped frozen in the moment knowing that Sesshomaru could slaughter her as easily if the mood struck him.

Sesshomaru felt his body began to grow heavy as the process of purification from the priest's necklace began. He grabbed the girl and made leaping dashes towards the forest. She wrapped her arms around his neck, looking for a connection to something solid, and watched Hotaru canter nervously and finally run into the thick copse of trees when gun shots broke the silence of the night. The suitor's men had been alerted of his future's bride ambitions to escape with a demon. The suitor had paid for her and refused to have her stolen before being able to enjoy the bounty of youth she possessed.

Two large iron pellets pierced Sesshomaru's shoulder and chest, yet he still continued to fly away from the temple. His body felt both frozen and inflamed. He knew that he wouldn't be able to hold on to Rin for long and let go of her over a slowly moving river. Before she knew it she was submerged in deep icy water. The air constricted in her shriveled lungs and she fought her way to the surface. She emerged and swam with all her might to the shore afraid that her muscles would give out on her before she could find Sesshomaru. When she found her way to the bank of the river, she cried desperately for him. She prayed that he wasn't dead. She followed the path he had been flying in, spotting the tree branches he had broken on his crash landing. She searched frantically until she caught a glimpse of a dirty figure covered in dark blood washed out by the bright moonlight. She ran to her lord, and searched for signs of life. When she turned him face up something struck her as incredibly odd. The long silver hair that framed his face had turned a dark black blue. This wasn't right at all. He'd been purified with the dead priests powers that seemed to hold strong even after he'd been struck down by Sesshomaru. She had no idea of what to do. She cried against his chest. She had forgotten about how cold and stiff her body felt and attempted to hoist Sesshomaru up and find some place to treat his extensive injuries. Tears stung her eyes as she hobbled under the weight of her unconscious lord.

She felt a hot breath on her, and turned expecting the worst only to see Hotaru behind her. The small bundle was still attached to the horse and she was thankful to have dried herbs to treat Sesshomaru with when she found an appropriate place to take a look at his injuries. The horse seemed skittish around the demon sensing he wasn't a man. Rin managed to calm Hotaru with a gentle touch, and she got Sesshomaru on the horse's back with a good deal of effort. He was pure muscle and at this point, pure dead weight. She dug through her bag and changed from her wet clothes to something warm and dry, thankful she had packed spares.

She walked for a long time praying for Sesshomaru's safety. She pulled the horse by her reigns until the forest opened into a clearing. A small village was situated in the middle of the forest. Rin would have walked past it except the smell of small fires built to keep the dwellings of the villagers warm had alerted her to other humans in the area. She guided the horse to the entrance of the village. She took at look at her lord and proceeded to the first hut she saw. She scratched on the flap and waited a moment. She scratched again hoping that someone would answer her. It was the dead of night, and all she wanted was a stable place to lay Sesshomaru down to rest. She had never seen him in this state before and was worried that waiting would result in his death. Finally a young girl with sleep in her eyes popped her head outside of the hut. Seeing a girl with a tear stained face and bloody unconscious man urged her to run and get an older woman from deeper inside the dwelling.

"My word!" The old woman appraised. The heat of her heavy and labored breathing created steam as she helped Rin pulled the injured Sesshomaru into the hut. "What happened child?" Sesshomaru was stirred to the borderline of consciousness by the old crone's voice. She and Rin laid Sesshomaru on a mat and quickly stripped the shirt off of his chest slick and sticky with blood. Rin turned him over and gasped at the gaping holes in chest and shoulder.

"We…" Rin sobbed. "We were attacked." Sesshomaru heard her crying and wanted to tell her to stop. The oozing wounds began to boil and Rin's crying turned into fright as the iron pellets pushed their way out of the torn muscle and back through his skin. His suppressed demon blood was working overtime trying dislodge the foreign poison from his system. The pellets were ejected out to the floor and the woman's jaw dropped and she began shaking her head back and forth in disbelief.

"He is not human." She spoke in low tones afraid of waking the sleeping demon. "He may look like a man, but he is not human." Rin and the woman watched the holes begin to heal themselves and eventually close up as if nothing had ever been imbedded deep inside the demon's tissue.

"Please," Rin tried to reason with the old woman. The little girl watched on fascinated by the man's miraculous recovery. "Please let us stay until he is fully healed."

"Do not stand by this creature's side girl. Your soul will be damned." The old woman warned. Rin's eyes began to tear.

"You don't understand. He's all I have in this world."

"You foolish girl. You stupid stupid girl. Do not allow this demon to drag you to hell with him." The woman warned, but her brow unknotted when she saw the concern in Rin's eyes.

"I do not care. This demon has saved me from death more than once." Rin spoke softly as she examined where the wounds had been on his back. His blood still stained his torso, and his breathing was shallow. Sesshomaru was very weak and remained as caught between the border of life and death.

"What you choose to do is risky girl. I cannot allow you to stay here and endanger my people. How can you be so ambivalent?" The old woman knew that the girl would not recant her loyalty to the demon. Rin paused for a minute and looked shameful, but knew she could only tell the truth in order to convince this woman to let her and Sesshomaru stay until his wounds were healed enough to travel.

"Because…I love him." That was all the girl could muster for herself. Sesshomaru gasped and opened his eyes. He tried to push himself off of the floor collapsing, too weak to escape his body's transformation. Rin attempted to go to him before he came back down upon the stained mat on the ground. He was unconscious again. The old woman noticed the glinting of the holy beads hanging around his neck and knew she was safe from his demonic desire for human blood. He was as harmless as a normal man now. Rin turned him over and propped his head up on her lap.

"Child, you understand the consequences of submitting to your feelings for this unholy creature don't you?" The woman pushed on with one more warning.

"Yes." Rin chose not to expand on her feelings for Sesshomaru realizing ordinary humans wouldn't understand.

"In any event, he's practically human now." The old woman pointed at the priest's parting gift. "He's been purified by the priest up the mountain hasn't he?" She didn't miss anything.

"Yes, I'm afraid so." Rin sounded very tired. Her emotions were at there limit. "May we stay until he's stable enough to travel?" The girl waited for the woman to refuse her.

"Yes." The woman cleared her throat. "If anything happens you will be responsible for yourselves. There is an abandoned hut towards the end of the village. You may have use of it until you leave." Rin was so relieved she broke down into tears and relayed to the old woman how grateful she was. She promised to be as inconspicuous as possible. Vowing that no harm would come to the village. Her smile warmed the woman's heart. In a way she longed to be young again.

Rin asked the woman for a clean bit of cloth and a bowl so that she might wash the blood off of Sesshomaru. The woman gave her what she requested and the two began to speak about what lead up to the demon being injured as she heated water to wash Sesshomaru with. Rin was completely honest about the vile Head priest and how she had come into Sesshomaru's care. "He revived me from the dead twice. I owe him many things including my life. All I can give him at this moment is my gratitude." The old woman smiled and watched Rin gingerly and lovingly wash the blood from Sesshomaru's body.

"He's got a dead priest on his hands to account for." The old woman mused. "I think he should go by another name until you are able to get back home."

"I don't think he will." Rin fussed.

"If he values his life, he's going to have to learn to live like a human." Rin nodded in agreement. She was pleased with the progress she had made with Sesshomaru. She had managed to clean him off as if nothing had happened. The white fur that he wore across his shoulder was missing. As were the defining marks, silver hair, and claws that made him stand out. He simply looked like a normal man sleeping soundly. The old woman who Rin compared to Kaede was named Suzuna. She had helped Rin move Sesshomaru to a futon. Rin slept next to Suzuna's granddaughter, Shiori, on the little girl's futon. She drifted off into the dreamless sleep instantly. She'd run out of energy, and welcomed the rest.


	7. Chapter 7

-1Chapter 7: Everything we could want.

When she awoke, Rin remembered all the things that had transpired in the last two days. She looked over to the strange new Sesshomaru who was still in an unconscious state. Suzuna and Shiori had left the hut already even though dawn had just broken. Perhaps she was alerting someone higher up on the food chain that they had new visitors in the village.

Sesshomaru's eyes cracked open and his voice was horse. "Rin."

"Lord Seshomaru. I'm so relieved you're alive." Her elation could have filled the room. His eyes took her for a surprise as well. They were darker than hers. The purification had suppressed his demon DNA. Sesshomaru realized the girl was staring at him with fascination.

"Don't stare at me like that Rin" Something about her unprovoked gaze made him irritated and uncomfortable.

"The priest," Rin stopped looking at Sesshomaru pitifully, "the priest purified you. You look like an ordinary man now." A deep anger arose in Sesshomaru. His body felt so heavy and stiff. He hated humans and now he resembled one. He then remembered that he had saved Rin and that he had her back. Something about knowing that she was safe and with him again made the sacrifice less difficult to take. The priest had sealed his powers with the necklace he placed on him during the confrontation. All he had to do was to remove the binding, and he'd be free again. He attempted to lift his arm, but he did not have the strength to do so.

Suzuna came into the hut with Shiori trailing behind her. The little girl was about the same age Rin was when Sesshomaru became her protector. She resembled Rin at that age, but he did not feel the same attachment. In fact, he felt no attachment to any human other than Rin. It was something that had confounded him. Even the dead princess that gave up her mortal soul to a demon just to love him held no sway over his distain for mortals.

Suzuna introduced herself and her granddaughter and provided Rin and Sesshomaru with a morning meal. The little girl could not help but to stare at Sesshomaru, and he closed his eyes and turned his face away to block out her prying eyes. Suzuna and Shiori ate a little distance away from Rin and Sesshomaru to give them privacy. Rin had warned how prideful Sesshomaru could be, and the old woman didn't want to spend anymore time next to the demon than she'd have to.

Rin scooted closely to Sesshomaru with a wooden bowl full of fish broth in her hand. "Rin, I don't eat human food. I thought you understood that" He spoke in a low frosty tone.

"Then what do you eat Lord Sesshomaru? I will go fetch it for you." Rin said as she placed the bowl on the ground next to her. Her voice was hollow, she wanted so desperately to help him.

"I require nothing." The words were like a dagger through her heart. He felt a sharp pang of hunger rumble through his gut. His weakened body was starving for nutrients. The purification left him with a human metabolism that required him to eat more frequently. He could no longer subside on lesser demons and raw meat. Consuming such things would kill him.

"Please eat something Lord Sesshomaru. I'm worried about you." He nodded in acquiescence. He felt the bitter bite of vulnerability. His body was weak and he knew Rin would have to assist him in many of the things he took for granted like eating, bathing, and moving for that matter. His heart felt as if it were fluttering. The palpitations were a symptom of living as a mortal he supposed. The beating of his heart had to keep up with his energy consumption.

Rin slid an arm behind his broad back still tender from being so badly jarred around during the collision, yet her touch was gentle. She held the bowl of warm broth to his lips, tilting it up slowly. He took a sip of the salty clear liquid tasting in his first swallow of human food. The flavor was not terrible, but different. He drank the bowl dry. Rin assisted him with a bowl of rice as well. She laid him back against the soft mat he'd been lying on. Suzuna and Shiori came over after they had finished their breakfasts. They remained quiet, and Sesshomaru had forgotten they were in the room. He could no longer pick up their scents, nor could he detect Rin even though she sat in close proximity to him.

"Demon." The old woman began. "You and the girl will be staying at the far end of the village until you are fit to leave." Sesshomaru said nothing in retort. He felt a boiling agitation at being so informally addressed by the lowly peasant woman. "Choose a name other than your own and stick with it." Her voice was just above a whisper. "I have informed the village chief that a young woman and her husband will being staying with us to recuperate from a very serious attack at the hands of bandits." Sesshomaru shot a scathing glance at the woman and shifted his eyes to Rin who was looking away from him shamefully. She was afraid of his retribution. Couldn't the woman have told the village chief something else? Perhaps not. Under no other circumstances would an unmarried woman allowed to dwell with a man that was not her husband or family memember. Rin would need to care for Sesshomaru and that meant she would have to stick close to her lord until he was well enough to fend for himself.

Rin couldn't hope for anything more than to be a beggar for Sesshomaru's affections. This was where her priority lay, and she had accepted that long ago. Her girlish hope of someday winning Sesshomaru's heart faded. She could only try to free him from mortality. She could only release him from her own fate.

"Anything else woman?" Sesshomaru's tone wasn't rude, but it wasn't warm.

"If you value your life, remain as invisible as possible." Suzuna said with as much friendliness. Shiori trailed behind her staying close to her side. She had gone to fetch two strong men to move Sesshomaru into the hut she had promised Rin that she could use. Rin was left alone with Sesshomaru. He felt a impotent rage brewing inside of him. Rin did not know what else to do. She'd never seen Sesshomaru in this position before. She worried he would hate her and she could feel his frosty glare focus on her. She couldn't meet his eyes. She sighed deeply and simply wanted to disappear. He would have been better off without her in his life.

"I'm sorry Lord Sesshomaru. I've burdened you." Her voice sounded pathetic.

"I just didn't want you to die." The pair were disturbed as two village men arrived at Suzuna's hut. They hoisted his broken body on to a stretcher made of bamboo and a skin from a large animal. They walked him through the village past a gauntlet of prying eyes to the abandoned hut that was to be the residence he would share with Rin. The compact hut was just big enough for the two of them to sleep side by side or separated by the small fire pit at the center of the floor. The thatching of the roof was coming apart at the seams and one of the men who found openly found Rin attractive promised to come by in a little while to patch it up. Sesshomaru was sickened by the man's forwardness, feeling protective of the girl. Rin smiled nervously and nodded her head. She thanked the men as they helped her move Sesshomaru onto a futon. They weren't as gentle as she had been with his injuries.

The hut was musty, but it would have to do. Rin was simply thankful for the woman's charity. Rin left Sesshomaru for a second to grab her items and Hotaru from Suzuna's hut. Shiori had been rubbing the horse's nose. The little girl hadn't said much while Sesshomaru was so close, but she opened up to the girl quickly. "Lord Sesshomaru is very handsome isn't he?" The little girl asked unafraid of the demon's gruff appearance. Rin blushed.

"You're too young to think about those things Shiori."

"Does he love you too?" Shiori was at the age where everything was a question.

"I don't know. But I don't think he does." Rin sounded stale. He'd come for her, but she reasoned it was because Sesshomaru considered her part of his property. "Even if he did, I don't think he would say so."

"That's a good thing girl." Suzuna said as she came out of the hut with Rin's bundle in her arms.

"I suppose you're right. I have a feeling he'll leave me one day for good." Shiori frowned. The thought of something immortal loving something as insignificant as a human was terribly romantic to her. Rin thanked Suzuna once again for her kindness, and let the old woman know that she'd like to repay her for all that she had done. Rin walked back towards the hut and Suzuna commented that youth was wasted on the young. Secretly she believed the same thing as Shiori, but knew better.

The man repaired the roof quickly, but hung around to see if the new girl in the village could use any more help. "Oh no we're fine thank you." Rin smiled but felt a little perturbed by his persistence. She was worn out by all the uncertain staring coming from the direction of the village. Once all the noise of the roof getting completed ceased, Sesshomaru drifted off into a heavy sleep. Rin sat outside of the hut sorting through her dried herbs trying to come up with a concoction that would fortify Sesshomaru.

She heard the sound of a woman singing and saw a girl a little older than herself with her two children. The woman noticed her gazing longingly in her direction and smiled shyly. Rin returned the smile indicating she was not a threat. The woman walked towards Rin's hut with her children following her trying to remain hidden behind their mother.

"What's that you've got there?" Her voice was soft and melodic and Rin felt very comfortable in her presence. The woman was tiny like a child and had a happy face that made Rin feel like she could trust her.

"My collection of dried herbs. I'm deciding what to treat my husband with." She felt strange referring to Sesshomaru in such a fraudulent way.

"You're a healer?" The woman sounded positively giddy. "My youngest child," she pulled a small boy who kept peaking out from behind her legs to the front, "he's had a the same horse cough for a little while. Do you have anything for him?" Rin put together a mixture of herbs and handed them wrapped in a torn bit of a large leaf from her medical pouch.

"Give him a tea made with these herbs any time his cough flares up. It will soothe his lungs and with time, the cough should go away all together." Rin sounded very confident of her assessment of the boy's ailment.

"Thank you very much. By the way my name is Asano. It looks like we're neighbors."

"My name is Hana, and my husband is named Hisao." Sesshomaru hadn't chosen a name and long lived man was a fairly accurate description of him.

"I see. Well it's good to have a neighbor who can keep us healthy." Asano said brightly. "I heard about your misfortune with those pesky bandits. It's terrible that your husband sustained such serious injuries." Rin nodded, the woman didn't know the half of it. Rin and the woman chatted for a little longer. Asano decided it was time she went back to her chores. Rin went back into the hut to check on Sesshomaru who had woken up. He didn't mind listening to the two women conversing about the weather on the mountains. It gave him a clear indication of how long he had before the first major snow fell. He worried about being trapped in the village even if his concerns were pointless. He did not know how long his body would be incapacitated. Suzuna had brought more fish broth and rice balls by for Rin and Sesshomaru. Rin felt grateful, she had wanted to give him something to eat.

"Are you hungry Lord Sesshomaru?" Rin smiled. He was reminded of the first time she connected with him. She'd lost her ability to use words, but not to show how she felt. Her bright smile was what saved her from death twice now. He secretly enjoyed the idea of someone genuinely loving him. Rin had her memories that she cherished, and he had his as well.

Rin's anxious mood dissipated when she felt the unexpected stay wouldn't be half bad. She wanted to give Sesshomaru some herbs to decrease the swelling of his muscles and assist his body in repairing itself. She mixed the herbs in with his hot soup. She had been so overwhelmed with everything that she had forgotten to eat that morning and was hit with a wave of gnawing hunger pains. Her stomach growled loudly.

"I'm not hungry at the moment, but it sounds like you are." Sesshomaru said lightly.

"I'll eat after I give you some herbs to help with your healing if that's alright." Her voice was sweet and warm. He nodded knowing she would always put his best interest first. He drank the broth down noting that the herbs had a bitter taste to them. After a while, the dull pain that resonated throughout his body seemed to grow more an more faint. Rin ate ravenously, catching up with her hunger.

The afternoon sun cast long shadows through the trees that surrounded the village. Rin believed it would be a quite cozy place to settle down. It was a nice place with welcoming people. They could have everything they needed. Who were they? She thought cynically. She had placed Sesshomaru in a role he'd never assume naturally. She remembered Kohaku questioning whether or not she wanted what was conventional, but that was before she had grown up some. Her childish wishes to never die and to always trail behind Sesshomaru seemed farther and farther away as the reality of the divide between the two became quite clear. What happens when I grow old and cannot follow Sesshomaru? What if he grows tired of me always following him around? The thoughts that plagued her mind could not be repeated to Sesshomaru. He noticed that she was lost in a world of her own. Her knotted forehead and glazed look troubled him. She felt his eyes upon her and she smiled. "I was just thinking about gathering some water before the sun sets. I'll return shortly. Please get some more rest."

She got up and left the hut almost forgetting the tightly woven water basket Suzuna had let her borrow. She also grabbed the makeshift bundle to collect whatever she could find growing this late in the season to eat.

Rin found the same wide shallow river that Sesshomaru tossed her into the night before. She was surprised it still flowed even though the bitter cold threatened to freeze it solid. She sat by the river widdling some long dry sticks to a fine point using a stone with a sharp scalloped edge the size of her palm. She wanted some meat to offer Sesshomaru for dinner, and she had grown tired of borrowing food from Suzuna. She did not want to burden the woman when she was perfectly capable of functioning independently. She had been forced to take care of herself at a very young age, and she supposed that's why Sesshomaru did not leave her at the first village they passed on their journey together.

Once she had a few make shift spears ready to fish with, she waded out a little ways away from the bank. Catching a meal was worth the discomfort. She spotted some healthy looking trout moving in place along the flat stones of the shallow river bed. Her aim did not fail her, and the fish she desired to prepare for dinner were in her possession. With fat fish in her bundle, and a full basket of water she was ready to head back to the hut. Along the way she collected firewood and tinder placing it in the bundle with the fish. The season for mushrooms was over, and the fish were all she could offer Sesshomaru with such short notice. Perhaps she could barter some services for food. If they had arrived sooner, she would have been able to collect and preserve items from the bounty available in the area.

She wondered if the people of the village would allow her to care for the sick and the wounded in return for food and shelter.

The condition of Asano's child indicated that the village had no healer. His cough was symptomatic of bronchitis, and needed to be treated before it turned into something more serious. What would have Asano done if the little boy had developed pneumonia and she had no way of summoning a healer this far into the wilderness? The first heavy snow of the season usually trapped the residents of the mountain in their homes and restricted them to their villages until the first thaw occurred. And if another snow fall happened after that time, anyone separated from the village would have to wait until spring was in full effect to return home. She decided to pass her knowledge of plants and herbs on to the people of the village until they found a proper person to administer care to the infirmed.

Rin returned with a full bundle on her back and a heavy water basket which a young village boy offered to carry to her hut for her. She was grateful for the help. "Miss Hana is it?" News seemed to travel fast. Rin nodded as the young boy addressed her. He was about 12 or 13 and more than happy to be seen next to her. One by one she was getting to know the people of the village. She was the representative for Sesshomaru and herself, and was determined on making a good impression. She smiled at Asano as she passed the woman's hut. A girl who was a little older than the boy Rin had treated earlier came running over with something for the new visitor from her mother.

"Mama said to give these to you. They're for you and Hisao." Rin was handed a bundle with a few things. "She said she'd come by after she was done preparing supper to thank you properly." The little girl handed the items to Rin and scooted away with a quick bow. Rin bowed back and opened the package revealing an assortment of dried food such as mushrooms and fish, along with some raw potatoes which would complement her catch nicely. The woman had also provided Rin and Sesshomaru with extra blankets to keep them warm at night. All that kindness for a few dried petals and herbs. She felt happy and safe in the little hidden village. She appreciated her good fortune. She instructed the boy to leave the basket of water by the front of the hut and expressed her gratitude for assisting her in carrying the heavy basket all the way through the village. She commented that he must be very strong. He blushed a bright crimson and went back to his own home to eat his dinner.

Rin entered the hut, and began the preparations for making a fire in the pit in the middle of the clay floor. The circle round constructed of fist sized stones set side by side hadn't been used for a long time and was full of powdery ash. Sesshomaru had been in and out of a deep sleep all day, and the girl did her best not to wake him. Rin longed to clean the little hut, but knew she'd have to wait until Sesshomaru was more mobile, and when that time came that action might be pointless. She pulled some tinder she gathered from her bundle and struck two stones over it until they sparked causing the dried grass and bits of bark to start smoking. She blew on the pile and a small flame wavered meekly as it grew. She placed a few good sized sticks on the flame to feed its insatiable hunger. While the fire grew hotter and consumed the dried wood, Rin turned to the task of preparing the fish to be eaten. She had already cleaned them by the bank of the river, casting their innards into the slowly flowing water. She took the two sharpened sticks out that she had used as spears. She ran a stick through the opened underbelly of a fish and out through it's gaping mouth. She repeated the process for the second fish. She pulled her medicine bag close to her and selected some herbs that would make the fish taste good and rubbed their scaly bodies with the mixture. The potatoes would take too long to cook tonight, but she would definitely be more prepared tomorrow to make a proper meal. She placed the fish at an angle over the open flame so that they wouldn't burn, but the skin would get crispy. The crispy fins were a special treat that she enjoyed when she camped out all those years ago with Sesshomaru and Jakken. She wished he never left in the first place. All the events of the previous night would have never transpired. Too often she caught herself living in the past, but all in all, to be reunited with Sesshomaru even under these circumstances was better than having nothing at all.

Rin poured some of the water from the large basket into one of the bowls she'd been given by Suzuna earlier and washed her hands. She selected the herbs she needed to make Sesshomaru more of his pain killing medicine. She had gathered a few flat stones from the river bed because she had nothing to boil water in at the moment. She had planned on heating them in the flames and then dropping them into a bowl full of water until it was hot enough to make tea with. Luckily for Rin, Suzuna was ahead of her.

Suzuna was at Rin's hut not long after she had started the fire to cook her dinner with. She scratched at the heavy cloth flap of the hut. Rin poked her head out and smiled brightly when she saw what the woman had brought for her to use. She was holding a crudely made and ancient cooking kettle complete with a stand and spooning ladle. "Thank you so much for everything Suzuna." Rin's gratitude radiated from her smile.

"How is the demon holding up?" Suzuna asked callously. "He hasn't died yet has he?" Rin knew the woman didn't mean any harm by what she had said, she was just acting as any normal person would given the circumstances. A similar reaction would be given if Rin had brought a murderer, thief, or rapist into the community. Most people would think it'd be better off to let such vile scum die a painful death.

"I promise you we'll be out of the village once he's better." Rin said softly taking the items from the woman's weathered hands bent and twisted by arthritis and work. She was older than Kaede, and much more frail, but she hadn't lost her wits or her determination. The irises of her eyes were graying on the outside denoting that she would only last a few more years. If Shiori was lucky, her grandmother would be able to survive until the little girl could be placed with a proper family.

"I've heard from Asano that you've got a healer's touch. She told everyone that you had the skill to ease her boy's cough." Suzuna commented.

"Yes, I was taught the skill of healing by Kaede. She took me in as means of socializing me with other people. She was hoping I'd learn to trust humans and become less reliant on Lord Sesshomaru." Rin hadn't gone into much depth about her time at the village. "It was wonderful to have people of my own, but some part of me, a large part really, just wanted Sesshomaru."

"Do as you want girl. Your own happiness should come first. Don't sacrifice your life to the demon's whims." Suzuna spoke as if she a reason to mistrust and even hate demons. Rin did not wish to pry into the woman's prejudice towards them.

"Even if I wanted to, I cannot change how I feel." Rin confessed firmly. It was her way of letting Suzuna know that there was no changing her mind. Sesshomaru was like a disease that had run it's course and could not be treated or removed from her whole being. "I'm sorry, I have to get back to preparing my dinner. Thank you again for the cook wear." Suzuna nodded and bid her a good night. Under other circumstances, Suzuna was considered a very nice and hospitable woman. Rin went back inside the hut and found Sesshomaru awake.

"How are you feeling Lord Sesshomaru? Are you in any pain?" She quickly poured water in the kettle and placed it over the fire. She added some dried herbs to a small scrubbed wooden bowl. "I'll make you a sedative tea." To her amazement, Sesshomaru was able to sit up. He did not appear to be in any pain.

"Why do you try to reason with that woman?" Sesshomaru spoke in a quiet and sober tone.

"Because she's wrong. I've met more evil people in my life and had more damage done to me by them than any demon." She said with her back to Sesshomaru. The fire cast an amber hue on her dark shiny hair. "I've been neglected, beaten, burned, drowned, and sold by men and women. Demons aren't my enemy." The water in the kettle had begun bubbling, and the fish was nearly ready to eat. Her simple heavy weight winter time kimono slipped down towards her elbow, revealing smooth wrists. "I'm glad to see you sitting up." She commented, trying to change the subject. "You'll be happy to have your independence again. It's probably a nuisance to have a silly girl fussing over you all the time." Rin turned around, pulling the fish out of the fire. They were cooked to perfection, and she smiled at her effort. Hopefully Sesshomaru would be pleased. Her eyes met his, and the crackling fire made his dark eyes shine like inky obsidian.

She handed a hot fish to him, and sat at his feet. He took it from her. "Just like old times huh?" She said as she bit into the hot juicy fish. The skin broke away from the muscle, making it a tasty treat.

Frankly, the experience in the hut was very much like old times. She would just jabber away, and Sesshomaru would listen to her in quiet contemplation. She wasn't quite sure if he was listening, but she appreciated the fact that he didn't silence her when she was speaking or singing. Sesshomaru bit into his fish, and found the taste quite pleasant. There was something comfortable about just being alone with the girl. He wondered if this was how it happened. Were moment's like this how demons took human mates? Humans from what he'd observed, were much more interested in living than they were power. They could find happiness and hope in even the most bleak situations.

"Rin."

"Yes?" She looked away from her half eaten fish, the glow of the fire brought out the golden pigments in her eyes. She looked lovely, very lovely.

"The fish is good." Her heart leapt at the praise.

"Thank you Lord Sesshomaru." Her smile stirred something deep in him that he could not reflect on her surface.

"Why did you tell that old woman that you loved me?" Rin blanched and stared at her fish. It was difficult to make eye contact. She felt a sick embarrassment travel up her spine. She did not know how to answer such a question.

"It doesn't matter." The girl replied quietly. She went back to eating her fish. He did not press her any further. She remained silent and finished her supper. There was another scratch at the cloth flap. "Yes, who is it." Rin's voice broke. She still felt very unnerved. He'd heard her, and she couldn't take it back. What did he think of her?

"It's Asano dear." Rin placed what was left of her fish in her discarded soup bowl.

"I'll be out in a moment." Rin got up and came out of her hut. The night was surprisingly warmer than the day and there was a bit of humidity in the air. Clouds were billowing from the south, and a light breeze had the smell of moisture on it. She knew snow was on it's way. She was relieved to be away from Sesshomaru. "I'd ask you in, but Hisao needs to rest. Thank you for the food and blankets."

"It's no problem. We had a very good harvest this year, and you really helped out my boy. I won't stay long. I know there are many other people in the village that could use a good looking at too." Asano smiled brightly. "Would you mind if I refer people to you? I'm sure they'd be willing to help you and your husband while you stay with us."

"Oh no, that won't be a problem. It gives me a lot of pleasure to heal people. I like to use my knowledge. I'm happy not to be a burden on this village." Rin put on forced airs although she genuinely liked Asano. "I have to get back inside though. We'll talk again tomorrow if that's alight." The woman nodded and bid Rin a good night. Rin waved and went back inside the hut. Sesshomaru had finished his fish, and placed the reminants of his dinner on top of Rin's.

He was still sitting up and looking at his clawless fingers. His skin tone had changed as well. He'd become darker, and the difference suited him. He'd gone from being beautiful to ruggedly handsome. His broad muscular chest was smooth and free of marks. The only scar on his body was left behind from when he regained his severed arm lost in his first battle with Inuyasha. There was a possibility that the regenerative properties provided by his demonic blood had assisted in his quick recovery. His body had expelled the iron pellets from his chest and his shoulder, and it seemed that his bruised and broken bones had mended themselves quite nicely.

She knelt down to fix his tea, keeping his finely sculpted frame in the corner of her eye. She noticed him looking at the transformation of his silvery hair into the darkest shade of the black that she had ever seen. His purified form was even more attractive to Rin. She was beginning to feel shy, and hesitated when handing him the bowl. A hot flush came to her cheeks and she caught her breath in her throat when she felt his large warm hand on her cheek. His palm brushed the corner of her bottom lip She could see her reflection in the deep abyss of his eyes. Her mouth went dry and confusion knitted her brow. Affection. Tears stung her eyes. "Where did you go Lord Sesshomaru?" Her voice cracked as heavy tears rolled down her cheeks. "I missed you." He wiped a tear away with his thumb.

"Rin." His voice still had that same sterile quality. She placed the bowl full of steaming liquid beside her on the floor. The tears continued, and his other arm pulled her close to him. She closed her arms around him and breathed in the scent of his skin. "Don't cry." At that moment she'd forgotten about crying, she'd forgotten about being left behind, forgotten about being lost. She was with him, as close as he'd let her be. The space between Rin and Sesshomaru had been closed for the time being.

The fire in the pit had begun to die. The little flames that were climbing over themselves earlier to gulp and consume oxygen seemed to settle down into glowing embers. Rin felt as she were melting into the demon. He held her for a long time in the smoldering silence of the dimly lit hut. An overwhelming compulsion moved Sesshomaru to run his fingers through Rin's thick hair. She sighed audibly as his long straight fingers gently untangled her glossy hair. She felt content, and explored the smooth silkiness of his skin. She grazed his side sleepily with the pads of her fingertips.

The delerium of being so close to Sesshomaru ran through her like a shiver. She closed her eyes and rested her forehead against his muscular chest. Sesshomaru tilted Rin's head up so that she could look at him. Her breathing became rapid and her gaze searched his questioning what his next move would be. It was the optimum moment to seduce the girl. He could have had her then and there, but there was a hesitation pulling from inside. He wanted to tell her where he had gone and what he had learned. He began to speak softly. Rin could feel the deep vibrations from his voice resonating through his bare chest. "When I went to the continent, I was searching for immortality."

"But you're already immortal Lord Sesshomaru." Rin said confused.

"Not for myself, but…" He paused remembering what he'd been told. "for you." Her eyes widened knowing that was impossible.

"Why?" Was her only question. Rin wasn't as flattered as he thought she'd be.

"It was a selfish wish. Knowing I couldn't revive you again made me search out another way to cheat death. I fear for your death even though I know it is inevitable. I sought out a mortal hermit that had been rumored living for hundreds of years to gain his knowledge."


	8. Chapter 8

-1Chapter 8: The Cost of Immortality

Sesshomaru had been traveling the continent for nearly a year following all the leads he had gathered. The man he was searching for had no other name than The Hermit. He was the only solid clue to a mortal becoming immortal, and Sesshomaru thirsted for what the man knew. He wanted to gain the secret as soon as possible and to present the opportunity to Rin when he felt the time was right. He scoured ancient libraries full of scrolls looking for one containing to the esoteric knowledge and magic that lead to everlasting life. He'd grown to covet Rin as much as she had coveted him. He wanted something to bind the girl to him that was stronger than any human emotion. The human heart could be fickle and he worried that one day someone else would steal Rin's heart away. He had come across a tale titled "The Hermit" and read through it rapt in the information it contained.

"On a mountain bordering the Snow Country high above the land of the hordes, there lives a hermit. So infatuated he became with this worldly life, he shunned death choosing the path of the immortal."

Sesshomaru did not finish the story. He did not read the warning of seeking out a never ending life with no rest in sight. He knew that immortality had only left him longing for companionship, and he never thought about the consequence of making Rin immortal. He never considered his own demise, leaving her alone in the world.

He engrained the map in his brain and went to find The Hermit. He sent Jakken with a new kimono and gifts for Rin. He expected to see her in them when he arrived back at Kaede's village. It took him longer to find The Hermit than he had expected. He scaled mountains and crossed deep valleys overgrown with thick forests of bamboo for a number of months until he found home of The Hermit. He'd given Jakken the responsibility sniffing out other possible leads while he searched for the man in the legend.

Smoke from a small fire was billowing out of a dirt dugout seated at the bottom in one of the green valleys that were stated as being the home of The Hermit. Sesshomaru had located the original dwelling of the man that had been destroyed 60 years previously during a landslide by it's unusual scent. Following his nose, he trailed an identical aroma to a place that was awash and alive with The Hermit's odor. When Sesshomaru landed at the opening of The Hermit's house he called for him. A tiny hunched over old man covered in wrinkles like a Sharpei exited the dirt mound. "Yes, what is it?" His voice sounded dry and crust coated the corner's of his mouth. Large shock white eyebrows like caterpillars crawled across his forehead covering the man's blind eyes.

"What do you know about immortality hermit?" Sesshomaru said coldly.

"It's a terrible idea. Come in for stew." The old hermit invited the demon into his home. Sesshomaru followed the decaying man into his dwelling. It was a barren hovel with a sleeping platform molded out of the side of the hill with a straw mattress sitting on it. He had a small wooden table with a little stool. The man felt around the room, and found the long handled ladle sticking out of a cooking kettle. "Why do you ask about immortality my good man?" After many centuries of living, any guest was better than none.

"I'm searching to for a way to make someone immortal." Sesshomaru said quietly.

"What for? Who wants to live forever?" The old man said in protest.

"You did." Sesshomaru said confused

"Well that was bad decision making on my part. You can't cheat death, young man. And if you do there is a great price to be paid for it." He croaked.

"Say if you were immortal and you wanted to keep someone with you forever, would that be possible?"

"That's a very selfish request young man. It sounds like you want someone to join you in your misery. I take it that you're not of human origin if you claim to be immortal already."

"What if I gave the person the choice and they took it? How could I make a person immortal?" Sesshomaru said with more passion than he intended. He felt annoyed by the man skirting his question.

"Do they have spiritual powers? Are they prepared to live a secluded and pious life?"

"No she's not spiritually adept. I don't believe she could live in seclusion." Sesshomaru mused.

"This person is a she? Then I will tell you the secret to life eternal." The man poured himself a bowl of stew and took a sip. "Spend the lifetime she's willing to offer you with her. Make new life with her. Have children and enjoy watching them grow up. Do not ask her trap her soul here on the worldly plain." The old man's tone was quite convincing. Sesshomaru listened quietly as The Hermit continued. "If you love her then allow her to die even if the universe won't permit you to pass on to the other realm to rejoin her."

"Do not begin to infer my feelings old man. She is a child in my care." Sesshomaru wanted to state that he did not love Rin, but he stopped himself. Of course he did.

"She will grow up someday. Your feelings may change. If you love her, don't ask her to become immortal. She will grow to resent you when she begins to loose people that are important to her. She will most certainly hate you when she sees the world start to change and she's not prepared for those changes." The Hermit was a living testament that humans were not meant to live forever. In exchange for a short life, their souls ascended to different plain and were given the opportunity to reincarnate. Demon's did not have mortal souls and thus they ended up in the dark expanse of the underworld with no chance of returning to earth.

"I chose immortality to help people. I wanted to travel the country healing and protecting them with the special spiritual abilities that I had been born with. I drove away the guide to the afterlife enough that he simply stopped coming for me. Living forever became a mantra and the power of that one wish amplified the strength behind my prayers." The old man wanted Sesshomaru to fully understand the misery of giving up a mortal life. "I enjoyed the company of others, and when I became immortal, seclusion was part of the deal. As was giving up the worldly pleasures that shortened the lives of my friends and loved ones. They lived their lives to the fullest on the worldly plain, while I forfeited all the pleasures of the human experience. One by one they all died off and I buried them. I never got a chance to feel love or the joy of having children and watching them grow into adults. There is not a soul on earth that knows my real name. I am alone in this world." The regret in his voice made Sesshomaru realize the error in the old man's wish. His want to make Rin immortal vanished in the time it took to blow out a candle. He'd become so consumed with the search that The Hermit's story left him feeling defeated. The demon did not have much of a conscience, yet he knew better to ask his little ward to change for him. As the homesickness that lingered on his heart closed in on him, he chose to listen to the old man's warning. "Now I'm merely a legend, and no one remembers me. I've chosen to go back to living as a normal man, and hopefully with enough repentance, I'll be allowed to rest."

"I will go back to her then. Perhaps we'll meet again in the underworld." Sesshomaru respected the old hermit's honesty. He could go home now.

"Maybe I'll meet this girl of yours on the other side. You never know, possibly you'll be there too." The old man said grinning toothlessly.

Sesshomaru left the blind man's hut and traveled in the direction Jakken had told him he was planning on searching. He wanted to see Rin again. He reconciled with his feelings for the mortal child. He no longer questioned his need to be by her side, he just knew that it was what he wanted. When he had reconnected with Jakken he told the goblin that they would be heading back to Japan where they would collect Rin. When he arrived to find the girl gone, Sesshomaru felt a heavy guilt settle on his chest. He realized his disappearance was to blame for Rin going missing.


	9. Hunger Pains

-1Chapter 9: Hunger Pains

It had been a while since Rin had fallen asleep in his arms. After Sesshomaru finished his story, the girl didn't speak for a long time. She just held on to him. "I'm so glad you're back." She said in quiet tender tone with her head pressed against his chest where his heart would be. He looked down at her and placed his hand on top of her head and stroked her hair. She looked up at him sleepily with a smile in her eyes.

"Are you tired Rin?" His voice hummed She'd never heard him sound so relaxed. "You should get some rest."

"Can we stay like this for just a little longer Lord Sesshomaru?" Her speech was heavy. As she felt herself recline against him into a more comfortable position, the girl dozed off. She slept so peacefully against him.

This was like the time in the cave, but she would remember him when she awoke. She would smile at him, and she would love him. Those words were potent to him. It felt good to have her soft warm body pressed against him in the chill of the hut. The embers of the dying fire cast a low warm glow against the wall. The demon felt the urge to sleep creeping over him.

The purification had done a number on him. His muscles and bones ached. His energy reserves were completely drained as his demon blood worked on repairing his body. He was overwhelmed with fatigue. It was as if he were fighting off a holy virus.

He laid Rin down on his futon. He was very careful not to wake her as he lay down next to her. His arm was trapped underneath the girl. She rolled towards him and pressed her body against his. She placed her arm on top of his chest and slowly curled it around his neck. She slid her right leg up to the middle of his thigh. He wrapped his pinned arm around her body encircling her with the other. He pulled the blanket over himself and the girl. She pulled tighter to him. Being in this position made Sesshomaru want to feel her flesh pressed against his again.

He ran his fingers slowly up and down her side. Her kimono moved loosely against her smooth silky skin. Her body heat was trapped in the folds of her clothes. He ran his hand up and down her side, tracing the curve of her body in his mind. She sighed breathily lost deep in an intense dream, bringing his attention to her flushed lips. Having the girl laying oh so near was overwhelming to his senses. She mumbled his name. She had gotten too close. Sesshomaru wanted Rin very badly. He wanted to place his mouth on hers. For her sake, this could not transpire.

As a man, his poisonous acidic saliva had no effect. Regularly a scratch from his claws, or something as small as a drop of the secretions from his mouth in her blood would kill Rin. Unfortunately, even an intimate kiss between Rin and himself would shut her human body down. Sesshomaru could not allow himself to grow to want Rin in the state he was in because he was not a man. He refused to allow him self to settle into living a human life because he liked how Rin felt in his arms. Being in this condition was unacceptable. When the beads were removed and he returned to being a demon, he could not have Rin this way. He would become lethal to her. He would rather injure himself than to do her harm. Just a taste could lead to grave consequences.

A kiss would do nothing to a female demon though, but a bite on the other hand, would. He learned that he was deadly to any mate or enemy he came across from just a bite. He was bred with intention of keeping the Western Lands powerful, being toxic to a foe was just a plus.

When he was younger, he had a fling with one of his father's concubines. He bit her in the heat of the moment one night while making love. He'd submitted to the animalistic nature of his demon blood. By the morning the poison wove it's way through her system. Slowly shutting down her organs as they were liquefied by the acidic enzymes that pumped through her veins. The following morning her body was a bubbling mash next to him in his bed. Sesshomaru's lack of discernable emotion developed after that incident. His hatred for the hand he'd been dealt filled him with a lust for power. If he couldn't feel the pleasures of the flesh, then he'd obtain the strength to destroy everything.

He slipped his arm out from underneath Rin's body and sat against the wall of the hut watching over her. He added another log to the dying embers and a small flame snaked it's way up the log as if it were being charmed out of the ashes. Sesshomaru fingered the necklace around his neck. It felt cold to the touch. He tried to take it off and it froze to his skin. He released his grasp on the divine artifact, pulling his burnt palms away from the beads. What would he do? The priest was dead, but the beads were still alive with some very powerful magic. Kagome had the ability to remove Inuyasha's beads, but the same spiritual ability that she controlled was imbued into his necklace of submission. The likely hood of her powers undoing the purification wasn't very high. These beads were very different, some force other than the priest controlled them if they were able to subdue his demonic power. Sesshomaru had a feeling the power of the beads were linked to the mountain.

The girl shifted in her sleep. Sesshomaru followed the moment of her limbs as she adjusted her body. There was nothing he could do tonight. "Life as a man?" Sesshomaru pondered as he drifted off to sleep.

A small pinprick of light flickered weakly behind the darkness of his eyelids. He followed his way to the end of a tunnel trudging through knee high water. The path resembled a cave. The sound of his movements echoed off the damp walls. Every now and again he'd bump into figures floating in the water. He could not fly nor could he run. The fatigue his body felt carried over into his dream. He walked the dark path for a long time until the light grew larger and larger. He began to make out what was floating in the water. It was people of all ages, shapes and sizes. Each and everyone of them were dead. The bodies filled the vast expanse of the cave. He recognized the face of a man he had killed. These were all humans he had slaughtered to gain power. There were women and children among the floating corpses. A young woman with a hole in her chest the size of Sesshomaru's fist floated by him. She was one of the first that he had killed.

He'd eaten her heart after stalking her near his father's domain. He was so beautiful that the girl had confused him for a god. She ran to him with fear in her eyes asking for help breathlessly. Something had been chasing her. "I just want to go home to my children. Please help me." He said nothing to her as he plunged his sharp claws between her breasts breaking through the breast plate. He wrapped his fingers around her beating heart and ripped it out of her chest. The girl collapsed to the ground. Her dirty cheeks were stained with tears. He took a bite out of the girl's still warm heart and blood ran down his face as if he were eating an extremely ripe peach. When he was young, Sesshomaru's lust for blood was insatiable. The taste of a woman's heart happened to be very delectable to him.

When his father found out, Inutaisho sent Sesshomaru away from the Western Lands. Sesshomaru's preference for human blood sickened his father. "If you wish to live like a gluttonous animal then do so. But I will not allow you to do it in my territory. Your hunger knows know bounds."

"Father that is our nature." Sesshomaru's voice was frosty. "You forget who you are when you choose to fornicate with the filth that is our food." His father had a history of taking human women to bed with him. "I will not submit to someone who regularly indulges in hypocrisy." Sesshomaru walked away from his title choosing a path of insatiable hunger. He stalked and devoured humans for nearly 300 years until he'd had his fill.

The thrill was gone. He'd killed so much that he reeked of blood even when he had refrained from hunting for quite some time.

When he returned to the Western Lands much had changed. His father had officially taken a human mate. She was to give birth to Inutaisho's child. Sesshomaru would be replaced by this child conceived in love. He continued wandering. Sesshomaru now lusted for the power to destroy his treacherous father.

Then one day something became more important than power. His mind drifted to Rin and a voice called to him as he stood at the bright exit of the tunnel. "Which do you choose Sesshomaru?" He did not recognize the woman's voice. He could not see where it was coming from. It was on the other side of the light. He walked out of the dank stone tunnel and out on to a forest path. It was the dead of night. Snow flurries fluttered around him. His breath was a thick and billowy fog in the cold air. In front of him was another opening into the earth. The rock face was covered in moss that hung down like a curtain over the entrance. Crisp white paper charms moved with the breeze and the pungent smoke coming from urns pulled Sesshomaru towards this new cave. He walked towards the purified sight knowing better. In his dream he still resembled his demonic self and this holy ground would weaken him further. He felt a strong desire to know who was speaking to him. "Find me Sesshomaru."

His eyes opened in the darkness of the hut. His breath was fast and he was covered in sweat. The necklace was frozen through and burned the places it made contact with his skin. Was the cave linked to the beads? He stood up and his legs attempted to fail him as if they were made of gel. He searched for his sword in the dark, and used it as a support to leave the hut. He exited the dwelling and the snow that was threatening to fall hadn't come yet. He hobbled to the edge of the village and looked towards the summit of the mountain. The voice ran through his mind again. "Which do you choose Sesshomaru?". Was there a choice?


	10. The Gap Between More and Enough

-1Chapter 10: The Gap Between More and Enough

Sesshomaru came back inside the tiny hut. Rin was still sleeping curled into a ball. The dream had rattled his nerves. He did not have the capacity to feel shame for his actions. He never considered the amount human blood on his hands before. During those centuries, when the kill and the hunger were all he thought about, he could obliterate whole villages because it suited the drive to destroy everything. He only knew pleasure when he was crushing the life out of something with his bare hands. Excitement filled him when the human he was hunting had the feeling they were being followed. The second they picked up their pace in an earnest and frantic attempt to escape their fate, Sesshomaru silently caught up to them and satiated his primal appetite. He still enjoyed killing regardless if he learned how to control his urges. The girl sleeping in front of him might have been one of those women that ran hopelessly for their lives in a different lifetime.

The dull ache that ran through his body returned. He spotted the concoction that Rin tried to offer him earlier that evening sitting next to the futon. It completely numbed his body for about eight hours, and Sesshomaru hoped the sedative effect of the tea would lull him back to sleep. He leaned over her to grab the bowl with the pain killing medication, and brushed against the girl. Her eyes gazed at him filled with sleep. "Do you need something?" Her voice sounded soft and sweet as she exited the end of her dream.

"No, go back to sleep Rin." She nodded turning over on to her other side. He took a sip from the bowl. The tea's flavor was very bitter, but he drank every drop of the liquid. He leaned back against the wall of the hut and closed his eyes.

He found himself at the beginning of a dream that turned into a memory. He had made many choices in his life, yet this one struck him as being of great import.

He saw a dead child laying in the middle of the road. Her eyes were glazed staring distantly at the expanse of deep intertwining foliage in the peak of the summer season. He smelled the funk of wolves on her, and he also smelled her fear. She had been attacked so savagely. She had been running in his direction. The Tensega spoke with a pulse. Now was the time. Revive the girl. Sesshomaru obeyed the sword that had saved his life. As he cut down the imps that attempted to cart her off to the underworld, he questioned his own need to see her alive.

A good portion of the day had passed and the child was still following him. They wandered near the outskirts of a village and he slowed down to see what she'd do.

She looked towards the sound of people bustling behind the tree line. She could see children her own age playing, yet she continued on with Sesshomaru, Jakken, and the beast, A-Un. The sun descended below the hills tinting the horizon coral when they made camp for the night.

The girl ran quickly towards a clear babbling creek that wound it's way through the nest of trees they had chosen for the evening. She rolled up her dirty and stained yukata and waded out to the center of the shallow creek. "What are you doing you silly girl?" Jakken commanded. She ignored him concentrating on the creek's smooth stone strewn bed. Sesshomaru recognized she was stalking some prey and watched intently. She shifted slowly through the water in broken movements. Her hands were inches apart as she brought them down quickly around a fish. She brought her catch back up. After the fish put up a frenzied fight against the girl's grasp, she tossed it on to the dusty bank. She laughed as she wrestled with the medium sized fish. She repeated the process two more times. Her catch was something she could be proud of.

Jakken walked over to inspect her progress. She washed the dust off of their limp bodies in the clean water of the creek and handed them to the toadish goblin. She grabbed a large waxy oval shaped frond growing at the foot of a wide tree. She instructed with gestures that Jakken place the fish on the leaf. She took the makeshift platter from him and placed it next to a dirt mound. She ran back down to the river grabbing as many large stones as she could. She volunteered Jakken to help her carry the stones back to where the fish were. She constructed a place to build a fire. Next, she gathered a collection of sticks and branches, handing some to her goblin accomplice. Two sets of arms were better than one. She smiled brightly when she found an abandoned bird's nest. It would be the perfect tinder. She finally located two rocks to create a spark.

She placed the nest on top of a mound of dirt in the center of the fire circle. She clapped the stones together a number of times until the beginning of a fire flew from the cold rocks. The collection of feathers, sticks, dried moss, and twine went up in small flames quickly. She added more fuel to her fire until it roared openly lighting up the camp site. She ran pointed sticks through the fish and leaned them against the rocks to cook, attempting to keep them from burning. All of these things had been done in a matter of minutes by a child that couldn't have been more than six or seven. When her preparations for dinner were finished, she sat contentedly in front of the fire.

Sesshomaru watched the girl as she stared mesmerized by the rolling flames. She was self sufficient. He wondered how long the girl had been on her own. "What is your name child?" A crease came to her forehead. Her eyes moved away from the fire and to his face. She paused for a moment.

"M..My name is Rin." She said slowly and smiled. She turned the fish to cook them evenly. Jakken marched up and spoke to the child.

"Lord Sesshomaru saved your life. You should thank him." The girl nodded.

"Thank you." Rin said softly. She pulled a fish off of the fire and attempted to hand it to Sesshomaru. He shook his head to decline the fish.

"No thanks Rin." She nodded her head and handed it to Jakken.

"I guess there's more for you Jakken." The little goblin took it greedily from her hand.

"You call me Master Jakken girl." Rin nodded.

"Yes Master Jakken." Rin's face faded as if someone had skimmed a pebble across Sesshomaru's subconscious.

His mind went black and the voice from earlier spoke again.

"Which do you choose Sesshomaru?" He did not understand what the passive voice meant.

"Is there a choice?" He ran endlessly looking for the source of the voice.

"Welcome to the binding darkness of the underworld. You can free yourself from this fate."

"How?" His voice careened against the pitch expanse of oblivion and returned him. "How do I change my fate?" Again he found himself in the knee high water of the cave, yet this time there was no pinprick of light to guide him to the exit. The bodies bumped against him as he futility sprinted through the watery graveyard.

"There is a way if you know where to look. Find me Sesshomaru." The voice died away on an echo. He was alone for a long time in the oppressive darkness. Then he heard another voice he recognized. It was a song. Rin's song. A diminutive light like a star shone far away into the depths of the cave. He ran with all his might towards the sound of Rin's voice. The light grew larger and brighter until he soared through to the other side.

He jolted awake and his eyes adjusted to Rin building a fire. "Good Morning Lord Sesshomaru. Did you sleep well?" He nodded with the beads burning into his flesh. "I haven't slept that well in ages." Rin said cheerfully.

She took two of the potatoes from the bundle and tossed them into the hot ashes in the bottom of the pit. She added more water to the kettle and placed some dried fish and mushrooms into the liquid to make a broth with. It wasn't much, but Rin was certain she'd be able to catch something when the day became a little warmer. "This breakfast will be a little pitiful." She said to Sesshomaru as she stirred the ingredients in the kettle. "If we were back home I could make you something really good, but if we were back home things would be different." Her tone had a wistful quality. She sounded as if this were a life she could get used to.

"I cannot remain in this state Rin." His voice had a somber pleading to it. He wished for the girl to comprehend that to live as a human would be like trapping a beast in a very small cage. "I am not human. I have to remove these beads as soon as possible." Rin understood he was a demon, yet a chord of humanity ran through him. Something very human compelled him to treat the girl with great compassion. Once again she considered what Sesshomaru's heart was capable of. But she knew she could never ask him to remain shackled to the whim of the necklace. The great divide that had separated them for years would return again. She took a deep breath and committed herself to Sesshomaru in his endeavor to be free.

"Do you think Kagome could remove those for you? She was able to remove Inuyasha's."

"I don't think so. The beads are connected to the land." Rin lived the area and probably knew the location of the cave from Sesshomaru's prophetic dream. "Is there a cave that acts as a shrine on this mountain?"

"Yes, there is a cave right above the temple that is said to house the spirit of the earth. We were never allowed to go anywhere near it. Only the head priest was permitted to make offerings at that shrine."

"Take me to it Rin." As much as she wanted to do what he asked of her, she was concerned that his body fail on him before they reached their destination.

"Are you well enough to go?" He didn't understand why she was questioning his judgment. "You were seriously injured, and-" He was becoming agitated with the girl.

"I can't protect you like this." His voice rumbled like thunder deeply in his throat.

"And I don't know what I'd do if you died." That was the first time she had ever spoken back. "You're supposed to out live me Lord Sesshomaru. How can you protect me if you're dead?" He couldn't dispute her logic or the passion behind her concern. She was right.

His body was sluggish in it's recovery. Sesshomaru never imagined he'd be purified. He did not know what to expect after the priest had bound his supernatural powers. His recovery time was slower than normal, but much faster than that of a regular human. It occurred to him that he'd been on the brink of death just the day before. The possibility of retaining some of his demonic abilities in his purified state reduced some of Sesshomaru's anxieties. The beads would be gone soon enough, and if what the voice said was true, he could escape what the underworld held for him. Rin went over to the corner of the hut and pulled out his destroyed shirt.

"I need to make clothes for you before you go anywhere." The back had holes where the pellets had torn through his body. Damage had been done to his armor during the firefight as well. The white silk was completely destroyed. "I washed it, but I couldn't get the blood stains out."

"It's alright." Rin handed him what was left of his shirt so that he might inspect it. He laid it down on the futon. "I would appreciate some new clothing. Thank you." They sat close together in the warmth of the hut waiting for the broth and potatoes to finish cooking.

"How did you know about the cave?" Rin questioned as she absentmindedly poked at the potatoes roasting the red hot ash.

"I saw it in a dream. I was shown the cave, but not the way. The being that controls the beads wants me to come find them." Something about his situation made Rin feel as if fate had given him a option. Maybe destiny wanted to know the same thing as Rin.

"Do you like being a demon?" She wasn't trying to be rude, she had always been curious about Sesshomaru. She always thought he looked as if he were in quiet contemplation pondering the peculiar nature of his existence.

He searched for an answer. What had his way of life taught him other than the pleasure of mayhem and violence?

"This is the only way I've ever know. I live without fear, remorse, or regret for my actions. When my full powers awoke, I felt a endless thirst for blood. Not just any blood," he stopped and his voice dropped and vibrated like a growl, "I craved human blood. I still do." Her eyes widened in disbelief. "Once I had a taste of it, I couldn't stop the urges to kill."

"Why haven't you killed me then?" Her voice sounded passionate as if she were calling him a liar.

"I don't know." He looked her dead in the eye. "I've never understood why I keep you with me. All I know is I just want you by my side." He sounded as if he never wanted to say these things to her. The words came out slowly as if he were betraying himself. Her eyes smiled as he finished his admission.

"Are you happy being with me now?" Sesshomaru remained silent. "Then we should just enjoy today." The suggestion sounded good.

Rin hummed happily as she fished their potatoes out of the fire. She skewered the hot potatoes with a sharp stick, and then doused them with splashes of water. She placed both of them in a bowl and began mashing them with herbs until it made a paste. She then dumped the mixture into the broth. The mash thickened it up significantly and the additional herbs made it taste delicious. She ladled a spoonful in to a bowl for him and he sipped on the hot soup. It was very good. He liked the meals Rin had prepared for him. For the first time since the hunger set in, Sesshomaru was full.

Sesshomaru never knew the sensation of being full. The thrill of hunting humans might have been gone, but the hunger never subsided. He tasted nothing when he fed, but the hunt and the need to destroy life pushed him on.

Rin had finished her soup before he did and she went to go borrow a needle and thread from Asano. The woman was outside gathering firewood from the cache next to her hut. Rin helped her move it into her warm little home. It was much nicer than the one Rin and Sesshomaru resided in. It looked well taken care of. Her children were still sleeping. Rin placed her share of the wood by the fire pit that was located to the back of the hut. "May I borrow a needle and thread?" Rin asked. "Hisao's shirt was ruined when we were attacked. I have to make him something new to wear."

"Where did you get fabric from?" Asano had seen the meager bundle the girl was carrying with her.

"I have another heavy kimono that I was going to use."

"I have something of my husband's that I can give you." Asano said with a smile.

"He won't miss it?"

"No. He's dead." The smile dropped from the young woman's face.

"I'm so sorry for your loss. How did he die?" It seemed different when young men died.

"He was killed. He was trying to protect our village from a demon that had snatched away Suzuna's oldest granddaughter." Demons do terrible things. Sesshomaru is a demon. Sesshomaru is capable of doing terrible things. These thoughts flashed through Rin's mind as she followed Asano.

The woman lead Rin to a chest and pulled out her husband's clothes. She handed Rin the heather blue tunic and gray woolen pants. Asano's man was tall like Sesshomaru from the looks of the clothing. Rin was once again thankful for her excellent fortune. "Thank you Asano. You've been very good to me." The girl gave the little mother a hug and exited the woman's hut.

"They're not much, but they're clothes." Rin said as she handed Sesshomaru Asano's very gracious gift.

"Turn around Rin." She did as Sesshomaru commanded. She could hear the ruffling of Sesshomaru's undressing and redressing. "You can look now." He was very handsome. She'd never seen him in anything but the color white.

"It suits you Lord Sesshomaru." She smiled shyly at him. She'd never given him that look before, and it felt good. He knew it of course, not every woman who saw him ran in the opposite direction. He felt a strange attraction to her, a human woman. He wasn't sure if it had to do with the purification, but he felt drawn to her since the cave. He saw how other men reacted to her, and if he'd been a normal man, he would have tried to get her attention with the same posturing and forwardness they did. How close could she get to him before he couldn't resist her any longer?

Rin moved around the hut collecting their used bowls and the water basket. "I'm heading to the river." She said lacing the ties of her simple leather foot bindings.

"I'll go with you Rin." Sesshomaru used his sword as a crutch and followed her out the hut into the early morning sun. A heavy layer of dew clung to every dead leaf and withered

blade of grass. Small patches of fog were the remains of a humid warm front colliding with the crisp chilled air that blew down from the mountain.

"I was sure it was going to snow." Rin mused as she undid Hotaru's reigns. Trying to survive this late in the season without the help of the village would have been next to impossible. Rin didn't even have the rope she necessary to tie the branches and logs into bundles. She spotted Asano again. "Stay here I'll be right back." She left Sesshomaru and the horse in attempt to borrow the provisions she needed.

"Hello again Hana." The woman looked past Rin towards Sesshomaru. "Is that Hisao?" Rin nodded. "That's quite a man you've got there. Lucky girl." The tiny woman had a sly look in her eye. Rin felt a little embarrassed for Sesshomaru. "What do you need dear?"

"Do you have any rope? I want to gather a lot of firewood. I've got the horse to gather the wood, but no way of tying it to her." Asano nodded and went inside her hut. She brought out a long length of hand woven twine. "You're always pulling me out of pinches. I don't know how I can thank you."

"I know what it's like to have to rebuild your life. The kindness of others helped me get by after my husband was killed." Asano was a woman with a good heart. Her life had been disrupted by a tragedy. Instead of succumbing to her sorrow, she pushed on. Rin thanked her again with a bow and walked back to collect the demon and the horse. She placed the rope in her bundle and headed through the village towards the river. She smiled at the other residents of the small encampment that she hadn't met yet keeping a leisurely pace so that Sesshomaru could follow.

Sesshomaru had never spent this much time around humans. They were always staring at him. When these people assessed him, a different look came to their faces. The men sized him up and down, and the women stared longer than they should have. He noticed it with that woman Asano as well. He was thankful to be out of the village. Rin was laughing.

"What's so funny Rin?" She looked at him with a bemused and priceless grin.

"You think they'd never seen a man before." She laughed again. In his mind's eye he saw himself as a demon, but they only saw a regular man. Rin had been with him long enough that his presence didn't phase her as much as other people. Was he more attractive as a human? "I've never seen women do that Lord Sesshomaru." Rin sounded amused.

"Is that so?" That answer made her laugh again. He didn't mind her laughter. He didn't mind the slow peaceful pace at which they traveled down to the river.

The sun had risen steadily during their walk. It shone through the nearly bare canopy. Most of the forest's leaves where scattered in heaping piles around the base of the trees. They'd lost their vibrancy as the autumn melded into winter. Large shining blackbirds flew over head to from one bare branch to another. A pair of deer passed in front of them to Rin's delight.

When they made it down to the river Sesshomaru rested against a large tree. The sun was sparkling off the gently moving water. Rin rolled up her Kimono up to her mid thigh and tied the slack tightly to keep it from getting wet. She rolled her sleeves up in a similar fashion to make grabbing her catch easier. The water was freezing as she waded in. Her legs and feet became numb quickly as they always did. The actions she used were always the same, and Sesshomaru never stopped marveling at the girl's accuracy. Her breath flowed from her mouth like smoke as she moved through the icy water. She was in and out in no time. She placed the fish on the muddy shore.

Her long tone legs were a reflection of life at the temple. They kept the girls active from sunup to sundown. Whether it be cooking, etiquette classes, cleaning, or purifying the girls were always expected to engage in activities that were for the betterment of other people.

He followed her nimble fingers as she quickly undid her the knots in the bottom of her kimono. She washed the fish in the water and gutted them with the corner of a sharp rock. She put them in her bundle and collected water from the river with the water basket. It was heavier than it looked. Rin hauled it next to the tree where Sesshomaru was sitting. She began wandering around the area looking for sticks and logs. She brought them to an open spot near the bank of the river. Sesshomaru copied Rin and began collecting wood. His legs started to feel a little stronger until he no longer needed his sword for support. He had gathered quite a bit of wood when Rin came back with her arms full. "I'm fine Lord Sesshomaru. I've got this taken care of. Go rest." Rin started to protest his help.

"You're not my servant." He dumped more wood on the pile and went back to work. In no time at all the pair had gathered a sufficient amount of wood and Rin began binding it into bundles. Sesshomaru took the job out of her hands, literally removing the rope from her grasp. She watched him helplessly as he worked in silence tying the bundles together. He lifted them with great ease. He got the job done in a third of the time.

She'd always had Jakken to assist her with her chores. It seemed odd for Sesshomaru to step in. If anyone saw them from a far they were appear to be a newly married couple. She smiled softly daring never to bring it up to the demon. "What are you smiling about?" He asked softly moving the last bunch to the pile.

"Nothing, I'm just happy." She muttered shyly. "It's rare to get days this nice so late in the season." Sesshomaru couldn't dispute that as the sun rose the day had grown significantly more warm turning almost balmy. He heard a rattle in the bushes and gave Rin a signal to remain silent. He picked up a stone the size of a silver dollar and threw it with a flick of his wrist. The movement stopped and he went to go inspect the source of the rustling. He fished through the pointy intermingling branches linked together like long fingers. He held a dead fattened up rabbit by the ears. It's fur still held some of it's summer brown, but was quickly changing to wintertime white. Rin was in awe of his accuracy. "That was amazing!" It was strange for Sesshomaru to be praised for something so simple.

"Can you do anything with this?" He asked giving the girl the rabbit allowing her to feel it's heftiness. She nodded excitedly. Rin loved rabbit and was thrilled to have something decent to eat for dinner.

"Your last real meal as a human should be a good one." She placed the rabbit in the bundle and hopped on Hotaru. "I have to take her to graze. She's probably starving. Would you like to go for a ride?" After a moment of hesitation, he approached the skittish horse and held his hand out for her to sniff it and decide whether or not he'd be allowed to get on her back. Hotaru touched her nose to his palm and he climbed on the horse behind Rin.

They rode at a slow pace following the river in the direction of the temple. They kept an eye out for an open spot to let Hotaru eat her fill of dried grasses. Sesshomaru thought it was like riding A-Un. Rin directed the horse into a small glen full of the skeletons of once lush trees. Something about this place struck Rin as familiar. "I never realized I was that close to the village. This was the farthest down the mountain I was able to travel. It's about a half days ride to the temple from this spot." The girl said as she slid off the horse after Sesshomaru.

"We'll set out tomorrow morning before day break then." Sesshomaru spoke scanning the area noting that it might have been quite pretty in a different season. Now all that remained of the meadow was crispy dead stalks of grass which Hotatru munched with snorts of contentment. Rin patted the dark horse's flanks speaking to her in a soft and loving tone. Once the horse had had her fill she began trotting around. Rin climbed on her and pushed her to go faster and faster until Hotaru was running at her top speed. Rin looked beautiful, alive, and carefree as she cut through the elongated shadows of the trees that ran beside the river.

"You should try this!" Rin invited Sesshomaru to exercise the beast. He decided to indulge the girl. He got on Hotaru behind Rin. "Hold on to me tight Lord Sesshomaru." She said confidently as she started the horse out to a full run. Sesshomaru grabbed the reigns from her hands and took control of the situation.

Rin could feel his warm body pressed against her back. She realized how small she was next to his lean muscular frame. She began to understand the depths of her desire for her lord. The want had an oppressive inescapable desperate characteristic about it. A dull ache replaced her elation. As they say, a taste of honey is worse than none at all. His arms encircled her and the same longing she felt in the field of flowers overcame her. It seemed as if he were leaving her all over again. Sesshomaru's mind was set, he wouldn't remain human for her. What would she do when they were side by side, yet miles apart again? He could sense the horse growing tired and slowed her pace to give Hotaru a break. The girl's young body jostled against him as the movement of the horse became like a pendulum. She smelled wonderful and Sesshomaru was beginning to understand the appeal of humans. Her hair fell away from her long neck, and his eyes traced their way down to the place where her kimono folded over itself making a 'v'.

It was perplexing to be attracted to something that repulsed him so. Rin's presence was magnetic to him. He'd known lust, but never anything this overpowering before. She had a hold on him that was becoming so intense that his train of thought was difficult to follow. The same impulse to kiss the girl from the night before flashed through his mind as she turned her face to his. What was it about Rin that made him consider surrendering to the wishes of his heart?

"We should head back to the village soon." She had allowed her words to contradict the yearning reflected in her eyes. They had a few precious hours of sunlight left and preparations needed to be made before they started out to the temple the next day. Sesshomaru guided Hotaru out of the glen and back along the river. Where had the day gone? It seemed if the early morning had rushed to become mid afternoon without regard for Rin's wants. The ride back to where the bundles were was spent in quiet contemplation for both parties. What would Sesshomaru do after he became a demon again? Rin wondered if she'd always be left behind as he lived his life treating her as an afterthought. A stab of pain pulsed through her chest. Her heart was breaking. Even though Sesshomaru couldn't read her mind or see the storm forming in the depths of her eyes, he could sense that something was wrong by the way Rin had removed herself from the present.

"Why did you run to me when the wolves were after you Rin?" The question struck a chord in her. He knew she had been seeking him. Her body slackened against him and she became aware of his proximity to her again.

"I thought you would protect me." She had never expressed her motives for remaining with him all these years.

"Why do you stay by my side now?" The sound of Hotaru's hooves sloughing through the uneven piles of cast off leaves made a swishing sound as Rin reflected on her answer.

"My heart told me to. When you rescued me from death, I felt bound to you. After that day, my life became yours." She spoke softly, but her sincerity and appreciation carried through to him. "Why did you revive me?" She had always wanted to know. She had been told by Jakken that her reanimation at Sesshomaru's hands was the result of a test he wished to conduct with his sword.

"The Tensgea spoke to me and it asked me to bring you back to life." They arrived at the stack of bundled wood and stopped. Sesshomaru assisted Rin off Hotaru's back. "But I've never regretted listening to the sword's request." A small smile came the girl's face. He'd probably never give her a straight answer, but she now understood his feelings for her could not be changed. Human emotions were less foreign to Sesshomaru than he realized. "Do you believe that I will leave you again?" The question surprised Rin. She wanted to tell him no and that she had complete faith in him, but that wasn't true.

"I couldn't stop you even if I tried. We will be parted some day whether by choice or by death." She stopped for a moment and considered how to express her next thought. "Yes, I do believe that you will leave me behind. That is our fate." The wind picked up and a cold breeze cut between them. Her eyes met his. "Even knowing that someday that I may never see you again, I will still want to be with you until the day I die." Rin's heart skipped a beat when Sesshomaru stepped closer to her and placed his hand on her cheek as he had done the night before. His cold, hypnotic gaze burned through her.

He considered the fact that abandonment could go both ways. He would never leave her. She would be the one to leave him.

"Do not be certain of how deeply my feelings run girl." He came closer to her still, his authority pressed down upon her. He ran his smooth thumb over her soft lips and Rin closed her eyes trying stop him from stealing her heart. As he moved in to kiss her she spoke.

"Lord Sesshomaru, stop." Her voice broke in a breathy and desperate cry. She looked at him with tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry. If you do that, the gap between more and enough will never close. I'm not ready to loose my heart to you."

He pulled away from her as if she were hot to the touch. Rin walked towards the bundles of sticks and began lifting them with difficultly. He removed the first bound collection of sticks from her grasp. She moved away from him feeling as if she had offended him by rejecting his advance. She watched him unhappily as he completed the job and began pulling Hotaru by the reigns. He picked up the heavy water basket that felt moist to the touch with one hand. He did not speak to Rin or ask her to follow him. As she trailed behind the demon that had just tried to seduce her, she kicked herself for rebuffing him. She desperately hungered for him, but realized she wanted more than she could ask for. She wanted Sesshomaru to truly love her.

The leaves crunched underneath the movement of the party as they followed the path from the river that wove it's way through the trees to the hidden village. When they entered the collective of huts Rin stopped by Suzuna's and gave her one of the large fish she'd caught. It was her way of thanking the old woman for all her assistance. Sesshomaru led the horse past the numerous huts that comprised the village. Rin watched him walk in the direction of the dwelling they shared. She bowed her goodbyes after Suzuna commented on how nice it would be to eat fresh fish. The girl also visited Asano for the same purpose before finding herself in the silence of the hut with Sesshomaru.

Rin removed the rabbit from her bag and skinned it. She prepared the fat hare for dinner silently. The distance between the two could have comprised the width of a canyon. She normally hummed while doing tasks, but she wasn't in the mood tonight. The same sharpened stick from dinner the night before was reused as the skewer on a very primitive spit. She found two thick sticks with forked branches that were about the same length and rested the seasoned skinned rabbit in-between them over the open flame. She turned the rabbit every so often staring into space.

Sesshomaru felt taken back when Rin stopped him from kissing her. He did not blame her when she explained her logic behind keeping him from proceeding in his plan. It really wasn't a plan, but succumbing to a fight he knew he wouldn't win. Even as he watched her turn their dinner avoiding his gaze, the itch to pin her down and kiss her drove him to turn away from her.

She thought he was disgusted with her. When the rabbit was done, Rin had no appetite left and simply offered the whole hunk of meat to Sesshomaru. She didn't even bother to stoke the fire after their dinner was done cooking. She grabbed a handful of blankets and moved the other side of the fire. She turned away from the demon and eventually fell asleep.

'The gap between more and enough never closes', he thought as he watched Rin lying there. He couldn't blame the girl for being weary of loosing her heart to him. Perhaps it was better that she was strong enough to say no. She was in love with him, and that would do her no good when Sesshomaru was released from his purification.

The firelight had grown low and emited a dim red hot glow that barely lit the inside of the hut. Rin shifted her sleep and Sesshomaru felt as if she were as distant as the Milky Way. Something urged him to move nearer to her form lost in a deep sleep. She exhaled softly laying on her back. He brushed the hair tenderly out of her face being careful not to wake her. Loving her would do him no good either when the curse had been corrected. But nothing could stop him from having just a taste of what he craved at that moment. He bent forward and gently placed his lips on hers. Sesshomaru knew this was as far as they could go.


	11. Chapter 11

-1Chapter 11: Separate Entities

After administering his unsolicited kiss, he moved back to his end of the hut. Her lips were soft; softer than any pair he'd ever felt before. But the pleasure of kissing a comatose woman was very shallow and only fanned the flames behind his hunger. The interior of the hut now reminded him of the representation of the of the underworld he'd been shown in his dream. Could he escape the dark solitude that waited for him on the other side?

Rin would be allowed to transfer from vessel to vessel living a variety of lives until Nirvana accepted her world weary soul. They had just this one life together. She'd forget about him in her quest to become one with everything. He could meet up with her again and again, but he could never have her as the hermit had suggested unless he stayed in this state. What protection could he provide her as a man? His purified form would grow old and become weak. What good would he be to her then? Could experience outweigh power in the long run?

An eternity of wandering the ever changing world with no other real purpose other than indiscriminate slaughter seemed less and less appealing when compared to the time he spent with Rin. His life had seemed empty and pointless before he met the girl. She gave him something important to treasure. She was more precious to him than she'd ever know. The odd events of the past few days had revealed a startling truth to Sesshomaru. He didn't want to live without Rin. She was the bright warm light that offset his dark deeds.

He drifted off to sleep and found himself in the darkness of the underworld once again. It was a lonely, lifeless, hollow place. Water drops felt from an invisible ceiling breaking the stifling silence. This expansive tomb served as an eternal prison for the demon's damned soul.

His demonic powers were useless in this place. The abilities they brought him on worldly plain could not save him here. This time there was no voice or light to guide him. He was utterly alone in a lake of his sin. The people that floated by him were as non descript as they had been when they were alive. Without light, he could not tell one person from another. He considered making phosphorescent orbs as a means of illuminating the cave. Then he remembered that there was no exit.

There was no escape; only time to think about his choices in life. Only time to think about how much he missed Rin. "Rin." He whispered to himself as images of her rapidly flashed through his mind. He could not replicate the love her felt for the girl. He'd never told her how vital she was to him, and now he'd never have the chance.

Sesshomaru jolted awake, he was covered in sweat and his pulse was rapid. The beads scorched his skin as he searched the dark hut for Rin. His eyes focused on her shape under a mound of blankets. The fire pit had gone cold in the time Sesshomaru was asleep. He stirred the dead ashes looking for some sign of life. He broke apart a coal and an ember like heart beat waxed and waned looking for more fuel. Sesshomaru stuck small sticks over what was left of the fire and blew softly. Smoke billowed out from under the pile, then a little flame rose up happy to be alive.

In his dream, Sesshomaru felt an unbearable sadness radiating from deep inside his chest. His heart was breaking and he was in a place where it could not be mended. The simulation functioned as a warning, but how could he change an already ordained path? Had he truly been born without a conscience as he had always believed? The longer he thought about the passive role he'd taken in resisting the drive to kill, the more he questioned whether or not he should be redeemed.

The underworld was a perfect prison for a soul as stained with blood as his. Being devoid of a conscience was not the problem. He'd made the choice every time to hunt humans. Sesshomaru did not savor animal blood the way he did the blood of a human. Animals did not beg for their lives, and did not satiate his cruel desire to silence those cries for mercy by tearing out their throats.

He wondered if the hunger would follow him into the afterlife. That was the worst part about being a demon. He knew the gap between more and enough never closed. Yet, Rin had the ability to close his gap. He knew the impulse couldn't slumber forever. There was always the possibility that he could kill Rin if the necessity to taste her blood overcame him? Even knowing that he could easily endanger the girl with his true nature, he had no faith in his weakened human form to protect her. Protecting her was more important than anything. What if something as strong as himself came after her? He had to be strong to keep her safe. He had no other choice than to remain a demon and accept the retribution that awaited him.

It would be day light soon, and their destination was almost a day's walk on foot up the dense wooded mountainside. He moved over to the still sleeping girl and put his hand on her shoulder and spoke. "Rin, it's time to get up." She moaned at the sound of Sesshomaru's voice.

"Good morning Lord," She attempted to stifle a giant yawn, "Sesshomaru." He was speaking to her again. It was as if nothing had transpired between them. Had he really tried to kiss her yesterday? The moment was so intense that Rin felt as if she were going to faint. It was a side of Sesshomaru she had never seen before. The look in his eyes said 'I want you.' She was very familiar with that look, and never expected to be receiving it from Sesshomaru. She could still feel his touch on her skin.

He wasn't one to back down after making up his mind either. He could have broken down all her barriers with just a kiss. A large part of her didn't want him to stop. She tried to shake the feeling as she got to her feet and faced her palms towards the pit. She went to grab a log to make the fire larger. Sesshomaru stopped her just short of the flame.

"Don't. We'll be leaving soon. Sit down and stay warm." He gave her what was left of the rabbit on the pike. She took it reluctantly from his hand and did as he commanded. She bundled up and sat back down on her futon. She reheated the cold rabbit over the warmth of the small fire. He grabbed a few things including her spare kimono and put them into her bundle.

They'd be ending their journey together very soon. 'All this will be just a memory.' She thought as she watched Sesshomaru busy himself with making sure everything was prepared. If he loved her, Rin just wished be alright with that. Why should he feel guilty and too proud to love someone? She'd promised herself to tell Sesshomaru how she felt when she was abducted outside of the village. Where had her courage gone? She wished he were more approachable. She was afraid that he'd tell her that he couldn't return her feelings. Deep down something told her if she didn't do it before he changed back, she never would.

She peeled the lean hot meat off the bone. It was tasty, and it felt good to have a full stomach. She finished what was left of the rabbit, and rinsed her greasy fingers off with cold water from the half full basket. "I hope you slept well." Sesshomaru said over his shoulder as he condensed his futon to a third of it's original size and placed in a corner of the hut. She nodded timidly.

"Yes I did. Thank you. " She said as she folded the blankets into a pile and tidied up the hut. She didn't know if they'd end up back at the village. She was uncertain if the cave would be the key to removing the beads. When the hut looked vacated, Rin and the demon set out from the village before everyone awoke. She sat the borrowed blankets in front of Asano's hut and left a large packet of medication for her little boy. She also returned Suzuna's dishes and her water basket, leaving them outside her tent flap clean and neatly stacked. They'd be at the temple by the late afternoon, and if the cave worked, homeward bound by night fall. The Sun was beginning to rise. The sky had been stained indigo and a waning full moon hung low on the horizon. The chill in the air had left a sparkling layer of frost on the surrounding plant life. The fresh cool air revived Rin, and a flock of honking geese flew overhead in a 'v'. Rin had decided to ride Hotaru as Sesshomaru led by her reigns.

They followed the river for a long time as the early morning sun moved steadily to the top of the sky. The pair walked in silence. Rin's mind wandered as she watched the scenery move slowly by her. The forest was an assembly of balding trees and withering plant life. The river's current flowed in the opposite direction they were heading. As the incline grew steeper, boulders clogged the river creating rushing and swirling rapids. Rin was glad to have been dropped in safer part of the river. She had begun to notice more and more land marks. She knew the area surrounding the temple very well, having scoured the forest for pools in which to purify herself.

Awkwardness hung over their journey to the shrine. Being ignored by Sesshomaru was terrible. She'd just asked him to consider his actions. He obviously didn't understand what he did to her. She'd be trapped with a hopeless desire for him that she could not get rid of. She though of how he captivated her with the ferocity in his gaze. She could feel his intentions when he looked at her. Just remembering what had transpired between them stirred a craving in her.

Sesshomaru stopped to rest Hotaru. Rin climbed off of the horse and walked along the bank of the steadily flowing river. The Sun had dropped in the sky, and they found themselves in between mid and late afternoon. "We're not far from the temple Lord Sesshomaru. We should arrive with plenty of sunlight to spare." It felt odd to be speaking after so long.

"Good. Thank you Rin." The detachment had begun. He could not allow himself anymore lapses in composure. When he became a demon again, he could not entertain any feelings for Rin. She would move on, but he would never leave her side. It was silly of him to even indulge his heart, nothing could come of it. A part of him wanted her to find a human mate. If she left him it would be easier to resist her. He could never forgive himself if any harm befell Rin. He wanted to see her live a long and happy life, even if it meant watching her from afar. She deserved no less. No one would ever love her as much as he did, but the world was dangerous and Rin's life was more important than his own.

They had reached the outskirts of the village. Sesshomaru didn't remember the temple being on steep embankments. "The only way to the cave is out the back of the temple. It was built specifically to keep intruders out of the shrine." Rin's voice carried a warning. The usual sound of the busy temple was gone, and it worried the girl. Sesshomaru proceeded on and she followed him to the unoccupied entrance to the temple. "This isn't right, there's usually a priest here to check girls in about this time." Rin whispered with suspicion in her voice. Sesshomaru said nothing as he continued up the temple steps. He pulled out his sword in one graceful action, heeding her caution. She followed behind him anxiously.

Trap or no Sesshomaru had to make his way to the cave. His human body was a hindrance, but he was grateful for the skills he'd honed in the many centuries he'd been alive. His power might have been gone, but not his ability to hold his own. He'd strike down any man that came between him and the cave.

As they entered the temple grounds, Sesshomaru commanded Rin to stay close to him. She grabbed his left arm and hid behind him. As he continued up the path that lead to the front doors of the temple, a stray bullet whizzed past him inches from his face. Rin yelped as she was snatched away from Sesshomaru. The demon turned around to find her in the grasp of a large man that held a sharp dagger to her throat. The pointed metal tip indented into the skin on her throat and inflamed Sesshomaru. No one was allowed to touch Rin. "Get your hands off of her now!" His tone was deadly serious. The man twisted her arm behind her back cruelly and made her grimace. Her hand felt like it was going to snap off at the joint.

"This doesn't concern you demon. The girl belongs to me." The man holding her against her will was the suitor she had ditched. He had taken residence in the temple and his peons were searching for her all over the mountain.

"Let go of her or I will kill you!" Sesshomaru barked. He ran towards the man and was stopped dead in his tracks when the dagger penetrated her skin. Little beads of blood pulled until they spilled down the front of her throat. "I won't let you take her from me!"

"You come any closer, I'll slit her throat and bleed her dry." The man had a twinkle in his eye as he began pulling Rin towards the temple. He faced Sesshomaru and smiled as he twisted Rin's wrist harder. She gasped. "That's what you get for running away." The suitor hissed through clenched teeth. He was quiet please to be hurting the girl. Sesshomaru couldn't bare to witness Rin in pain any longer. He sprinted towards the vile man deflecting a volley of large iron pellets with the dark demonic sword. Seconds before Sesshomaru's blade had made contact with his target, a lone arrow sailed quickly from out of nowhere and traveled straight through the suitor's neck. He gulped for air trying to resist the death that awaited him. Rin pulled herself out of his grasp and ran to Sesshomaru. "Are you alright?" Rin nodded quickly not knowing what to say. A succession of arrows were launched in a variety of different places and a few lackeys tumbled from their perches. Rin hugged Sesshomaru tightly.

"Hana." Rin looked rattled towards the direction of the voice. Taki scurried down from an old tall tree and on to the roof of the temple. She carried a bow in one hand and had holster full of arrows strapped to her back. She scrambled off of the roof and ran towards Rin.

"You shot that man." Rin wondered when her friend had become such an amazing archer. Taki nodded her head assessing Rin to make sure that the girl was alright.

"Hana I'm so glad your not hurt." She hugged Rin tightly. "I thought I'd never see you again." Rin embraced the girl back.

"Where did you learn to shoot a bow like that?" Rin couldn't get over the fact that Taki had saved her life. Sesshomaru was relieved as well.

"Master Koji began teaching me when I arrived. He thought it would be a good idea if I knew how to protect myself. I kept it secret from everyone, because I knew the head priest wouldn't allow it." She paused for a second and looked in the direction of the front of the shrine. The doors had been cracked opened and people were peaking out to see if the coast was clear. "It's been terrible since you've been gone. The dirty swine who bought you allowed his men to freely roam the halls and harass the girls." Taki's voice was weary.

"I'm sorry you had to through that because of me." Rin's spoke softly. "If I hadn't run away, the lives of all the people living at the temple wouldn't have been disrupted."

"We're free now. That's all that matters." Taki's smile expressed her gratitude for being uninhibited for the first time in a long time. She would be allowed to find her own life in the great wide world because she was no longer a possession.

Rin and Sesshomaru walked towards the front of the temple. "Hana why are you here?" Taki asked as she walked along side her good friend and the demon who'd come to claim her.

"We have to visit the shrine." She said as she pried to doors of the temple open. The bystanders that had been crowding around the space between the two doors parted to let Sesshomaru through.

"Rin, you can't bring that creature in here." Rin never knew Koji could sound so stern. She ignored his warning and pushed passed him.

"Let them be Master Koji." Taki cautioned.

"He murdered the head priest!" Koji interjected passionately.

"The Head Priest was a worthless man. He did not deserve to live." Sesshomaru explained. "And if you keep me from reaching the shrine, I will kill you as well." Koji backed away from Sesshomaru. He and Rin left the crowd behind and exited the temple. They could see the shrine about 200 feet away. "I want you to stay here Rin." She watched him enter the cave and then vanish inside the earth.

He'd stepped under a rope strung through the braided paper charms used to amplify the purity of the cave. A small amount of afternoon sun filtered into the opening. The interior was compact and Sesshomaru could see where the back became a dead end. He expected the beads to react so closely to their base of origin, but they remained mute. The shrine itself consisted of a small crudely carved figurine of an ornately dressed woman with no face. The remnants of burnt incense left broken snakes of ash at the base of the shrine. Dried out offerings were untouched by the deity that resided in the cave.

Where was the being that had called to him? The situation was profoundly annoying. He considered destroying the shrine to get the deity's attention. He wanted the beads off of his neck as soon as possible. "Show yourself." He commanded. The request fell on deaf ears. He kicked over the bowl of offerings knocking a few rice balls into the dust. "Show yourself." He spoke again with more passion in his voice. He waited for the deity to bite. "Show yourself or I will destroy your shrine. I will not be ignored." Having to repeat himself agitated him. He wasn't used to pleading for any reason. He paused and pulled out his sword to hack the shrine apart. Humans put too much faith in the capricious behavior and proclivities of the gods in his opinion. He raised his sword to make the strike and was pulled backwards and pinned to the dusty floor of the cave by the beads. His sword fell out of his strong grip and skidded a few feet away from his now prostrate body. He felt as if he were being decapitated. He struggled and clawed uselessly at the frozen beads that restrained him.

"Do not touch my shrine Sesshomaru." The voice roared having lost it's passive trait. The warning echoed loudly bouncing off the walls of small cave. He struggled until the beads loosened under their own volition. He coughed and rubbed the front of his throat. "I will not permit you to enter this cave again if you openly disrespect my home." The voice returned to the cool demeanor that Seshomaru was used to.

"Why did you not show yourself when I asked to see you?" The being had told the demon to come find her, but when he arrived she was no where to be found.

"You're not ready to part with your beads. Some fraction of you has been swayed by what they have to offer." The voice was lying-she had to be, Sesshomaru thought quickly. "Until you are fully committed to becoming a demon again, I can do nothing for you."

"What do the beads have to offer me?" He asked mocking the voice. "They are a nuisance."

"Being purified has offered you a choice hasn't it?" This couldn't be the choice the voice was speaking about.

"I have no doubt in my mind that I want to return back to being a demon." Sesshomaru spoke firmly. "Release me immediately." The voice laughed at him.

"Your mind may be convinced, but your heart says otherwise. Have you truly considered what it would be like to live as a human?" The notion was preposterous.

"Don't be ridiculous. The idea of remaining human repulses me."

"You were once one of mine, but you've forgotten." The voice said in a sobering tone. "All demons stem from human origins, you're no different. At the end of your last life you carried a great anger with you to the grave. Unfulfilled souls are highly susceptible to corruption before they reach the gate to the other side. Trading one's mortal soul for unlimited powers and immortality is very alluring when the memory of how inadequate one's life was is still fresh. You were bound for reincarnation, but became sidetracked by the being who made you who you are today." Sesshomaru remembered none of what the voice told him. "You'd be surprised by how often unrequited love rots people to the core. If you're not careful, you'll never get to satisfy the wish that that keeps you bound to the worldly plane."

"What is your point?" He tried the cover up the fact that what the voice said genuinely interested him.

"The point is that you once were a good man. To deny the human part of yourself will be your down fall. You've been given the opportunity to live the life fate has decreed for you. If you passed through the gate to the other side as you were supposed to, the woman you loved as that man would have been yours many times over. Even you have a soul mate Sesshomaru." If what the voice said was true, how many lifetimes had he lived missing the woman he once loved?

"Two men falling in love with the same woman happens everyday. When they're brothers the problem becomes more complex. You were the second born son and had no land or title to your name. Knowing this, you did everything in your power to establish yourself. Many people believed you were the worthwhile brother." The sun had begun to set and the cave became a dark shell. Images began to form in Sesshomaru's mind as the voice told the story of how he'd been conned into becoming a demon.

"Her face will always be imbedded in the memories that your soul carries. She was the most beautiful woman you'd ever seen. You wondered if she was real." The voice told of that first chance encounter. She was filling buckets with fresh water from the river. A woman that could have been Rin's ghost looked up and smiled. He was taken back by her sheer loveliness. He walked slowly towards her and introduced himself. "Soul mates will always recognize each other. From the moment you saw that girl you knew you loved her and there was no other. Unfortunately, you were not the only one who wanted to put a claim on her. Her parents were quite poor and more than happy to give her to your brother who was set to inherit your father's entire estate."

Another vision passed before Sesshomaru. He sat stifling his grief as he watched the woman that he loved with every fiber of his being be married to his older brother. She looked longingly towards him as the men at the ceremony became drunk and rowdy. He took a long drink of sake and felt the heat of the alcohol rise up in his chest. He grabbed the bottle and wandered outside for a breath of fresh air. Spring was nearing towards an end and the fresh wild grasses that surrounded the outside of his large home were springy and moist under his feet. It was a moonless night and thousands of stars speckled the black breadth of the universe. She was supposed to be his. The thought buzzed in his mind loudly as his heart turned black and dried up with sorrow.

He left his father's home not long after that into a tiny shack he'd built with his own hands. He did not want to see her if he couldn't have her. "You would have moved to a completely different country if you could have, but there was no power strong enough to pull you away from her.

One night, she came to you looking for consolation. You desperately wanted to turn her away, but you could not deny her." She stepped into his shack and fell into his arms in tears. She'd been replaced by a mistress. A woman capable of producing children for his brother. The idea of this woman being broken down so completely stoked a fire in his guts. "You suggested that she run away with you and start a new life. She consented to your desire to start a family far away from the reaches of your brother. You swore you would love her forever. Throwing caution to the wind, you consummated your relationship with your brother's wife."

He was awoken before the sun even rose by a loud banging on the heavy wooden door. He wasn't even given the chance to climb out of bed and answer the pounding when the entrance to his home busted open. His brother stood in the doorway seething. "You were accused of theft. You'd taken his wife and tained her. He branded her with being no better than a lowly street prostitute." His brother charged towards him with boiling rage and a malicious intent in his heart. He was going to kill the both of them. In the scuffle, his brother had knocked Sesshomaru to the ground and lunged at his wife who was trying to scramble out of the bed as quickly as her limbs would allow her to move. He grabbed the woman dragging her back down to the bed and began throttling her. "You couldn't sit there and watch your brother strangle the life out of the most precious thing in your world. Your existence would be nothing if you lost her. You killed the man who was the real theif."

His older brother lay at his feet. Blood pooled around the fallen man's body as it swiftly flowed from the stab wound on his back. It felt surreal knowing he'd just ended his brother's life. The girl stood behind the victor and watched her husband bleed out staining the packed clay soil that comprised the floor of the shack.

"Your crime was considered inexcusable and your punishment was death." The reflection of his past life concluding at the end of a noose turned Sesshomaru's stomach. "You never got to make that family far away from reality. You never got to say goodbye. But know that the girl was loyal to you all the way to the end. She secretly cut you down and had your body cremated so you could rest in peace." Rin's crying face flashed through his mind as she clutched the small parcel of his remains to her chest. "But the dark deities that lurk in the underworld waiting for troubled souls to trick were instantly attracted to your aura tainted with hatred."

Her name wasn't Rin then, nor was his name Sesshomaru. They'd been given a completely different set of circumstances and challenges to work through this time around. "You were told becoming a demon was the only way you wouldn't miss her. The being that feeds off the energy created by your violence and destruction had no intention of you finding the girl again. It wasn't until Rin smiled at you and unlocked what your soul remembered that you began syncing up with your humanity." Sesshomaru laughed inspite of himself. It was maddening to believe he'd been duped so easily. He'd been very foolish and lost in his despair. "Do not assume you were deceived effortlessly. When you were hanged, you searched and searched for her. You believed she had abandoned you. That is not the case. She was not permitted to witness your execution. She was not allowed to give you any last moments of comfort."

"How I can have faith that any of this is true?" His voice sounded skeptical. Everything the voice had told him was extremely hard to accept.

"Why would you need to be as beautiful as you are Sesshomaru? What is it about Rin that keeps you from slaying or forsaking her?" The voice paused for a moment and Sesshomaru contemplated where the questions were going. "You wanted the girl to notice you when she saw you again. The magnetism between soul mates never dies. She would have been drawn to you regardless of what you looked like. You cannot kill or desert her because as you've come to understand, 'you'd rather injure yourself."' The man that you once were will not allow it. Remaining a demon will only force you apart."

"What do you mean by that?" The coldness had fallen away from his voice. A hesitance to return to being a demon was creeping upon him.

"Only you can answer that question for yourself. Heed me Sesshomaru. Consider the possibilities of a human life." The voice faded with an echo into the false abyss of the small cave.

Had he been waiting all this time to find Rin? Had he been searching for her so that he could satisfy the wishes of a man long dead? He wondered if her soul had been waiting to find him too. He exited the cave and filled his lungs with crispy dry air. She was as he had left her. Rin was a million miles away searching the changing night sky for stars . She noticed Sesshomaru coming her way, and shook her head in disbelief.

"What happened?" She asked breathlessly as if she'd seen a ghost. The nick on her throat had been forgotten about and shined like a string of garnet colored beads.

"You stood out here all this time?" She nodded solemnly. "You should have waited for me inside in the warmth of the temple." She hadn't been reprimanded by Sesshomaru in so long, that she felt like a child again. She felt a tad embarrassed, and relieved. The things that bound them since the first day would never change.

"I'm sorry to worry you Lord Sesshomaru." She said softly and avoided his eyes. He began moving towards the temple. "We've been invited to stay for the night." Rin said as she caught up with Sesshomaru. They walked side by side into the temple. Taki directed the demon to the men's baths and took the girl with her to the one designated for the women.

"I see he hasn't reverted back yet." Taki said softly settling in to the large heated wooden tub where Rin was soaking her weary body. It felt nice to be clean. Sleeping in borrowed blankets on the dirt floor of the hut had coated the girl in a fine layer of grime.

"I honestly thought he would have jumped on the opportunity to remove the beads. He was in there for a while. I wonder what went on in the cave." Rin splashed a bit of steaming water over her shoulders. Her long dark hair fanned out around her in the tub. "I asked him about it, but he scolded me for standing in the cold instead. I wish he'd answer me directly every once in a while." Taki smiled at her playfully.

"Do you think he'd answer you directly if you asked him if he loved you?" The girl laughed as Rin splashed her with water.

"No. I don't think he would. He doesn't love me Taki." Rin's voice trailed off sadly. "Could you love something that revolts you?" The smile fell off of her friend's face.

"You should tell him how you feel at least."

"What's the point? He could never love a human." Rin sighed as she moved to the edge of the tub wanting to get out.

"Have you ever asked him what he wants?"

It was difficult for Rin to explain why she couldn't solicit how he felt and kept her peace as she stepped out of the tub. Droplets of water slid down her naked body and on to the slatted wooden floor of the women's bath. Her body had changed so quickly, and she didn't believe she'd end up looking the way she did. She wondered what Sesshomaru thought about the changes she'd gone through. Did he even think about her that way? Seeing her like that might have been overwhelming to him. Then she thought about the night before. It was all very confusing and nothing made sense anymore. Rin dried herself and put on a clean heavy weight kimono. She pinned her wet hair back into a loose knot at the base of her neck.

Things were easier when she was young. The border between her and her lord was so well defined line then. Now that different variables came into the play, that boundary had begun to blur. The closer Rin inched to Sesshomaru, the harder it would be to return back to normal.

Taki startled the girl who was lost in the large quagmire of her relationship with the dog demon.

"Here, let me do that for you." The girl pulled the pin out of Rin's hair. She began arranging it in a less haphazard fashion. "I was engaged to be married before I was kidnapped." Taki had never spoken much about her past. It seemed remembering the life she lost hurt her deeply. "Our village was attacked and all the women and girls were taken and sold, while the men were slaughtered. My fiance was among those men."

"I'm sorry." Rin sympathized with the girl.

"I fell in love my fiance while we were still very young, but never had the nerve to say so. When he asked to marry me, I nearly died of shock. It turns out he felt the same way I did. My only regret is that I did not enjoy being in love while it was possible." Taki's eyes were swollen with tears. She dried them with back of her palm. Rin hugged her friend who hadn't had a proper chance to grieve for her lost loved ones. Taki left not long after that insisting they needed a spare set of hands in the kitchen. The girl had reacted so strongly to Rin's doubts. Should she take her friend's advice, even though she might end up empty handed? Sesshomaru made his decision. He was going to change back regardless of when it happened. Still, it would be nice to tell him. She wished she had some of her friend's courage.

When she arrived in the dining room Sesshomaru was missing. The women were delighted to see her. Taki motioned for her and she sat down next to her friend. No priests were in attendance and the ladies of the temple enjoyed the relaxed setting. They laughed and drank the sake that the goons had been stashing in their kitchens. The girls sang, danced, and toasted Taki for being the bravest woman they'd ever seen. Even Rin took a few sips and felt her temperature elevate. They gave the girl a very difficult time about the handsome stranger that swept her off her feet and stole her away in the dead of night. They celebrated openly happy to be rid of the head priest and the suitor who had taken his place. The food was delicious, but the sweet rice wine was even better. "I think I'm going to take Lord Sesshomaru something to eat." Rin said to Taki as she piled food onto plate. She grabbed the nearly full bottle of sake and excused herself from the party.

The halls of the temple were dark spare for the inadequate light given off from wicks sitting in dishes of oil. The women's merriment could be made out through the entirety of the structure. "How does it feel to betray your own kind Hana?" The voice startled Rin. Koji spoke as if he were in a dangerous and heated mood. He had been lingering behind her for a while when he noticed her heading towards where the demon was staying.

"You should know. You're familiar with betrayal, aren't you? You knew where I came from all along didn't you?" Rin's words were like a slap in his face.

"We only kept you from damning yourself and you've repaid us with thanklessness. You've even gone so far as to bring a demon on to holy ground." She turned to walk from him, all the while, loosing any love she had for the man. He quickly caught up to her and grabbed her by her arm, turning her to look him in the eye. The rapid movement sloshed the liquids over the sides of the dishes forming a swamp of rice, broth, and sake. Rin found herself covered in Sesshomaru's dinner. "Have you happily given yourself to him again and again?" Her eyes widened and she understood what this was about. Koji was jealous. "Do you let just any filthy animal have you?"

"Do not touch me!" The sound of her voice alerted Sesshomaru that she was in distress. Koji clamped down tighter on her arm. He slapped the tray out of her hands knocking the dishes and all their contents to the ground. Before Koji could harass the terrified Rin anymore, the monk found his throat in Sesshomaru's vice like grip. Koji released his hold on the girl's arm and she shrunk away from the action hiding behind her protector. The more Koji struggled the tighter Sesshomaru's fingers clenched. The demon's voice rumbled in his throat angrily. Rin could hear the man gasping for air. She believed he was stupid, but didn't deserve to die. "Please let him go." Her voice carried the sound of fatigue. She was tired of being judged. She just wanted to go home. Sesshomaru's grasp slackened and the man fell to his knees. The mess he'd made was soaking through his garments. She walked away, leaving Sesshomaru and Koji to face each other. The demon did not end the very frightened man, he pursed Rin instead.

She began running until she found herself outside. She crouched down in the dark and began crying. 'He's not human. He never was. I can't pretend that he is. It's pointless.' Rin's thoughts weighed heavily on her. He'd always looked so damn human. In his search for her, Sesshomaru caught a glimpse of Rin kneeling in the dirt staring at the night sky. She looked up and found the stars she had been searching for earlier. It seemed if she were asking the cosmos for a favor or advice. 'Am I fooling myself?' The only person who knew the answer to that question was as unreachable as the dark side of the moon.

Sesshomaru turned around and followed the long halls back to his room. Disrupting her seemed inappropriate. Koji was still on the floor contemplating his near death experience. The demon had made an impact on him. He'd seen his life flash before his eyes. There were many things that he needed to change before he journeyed to the other side.

Rin had never walked away from Sesshomaru before. She wasn't a pet, and the demon wasn't her master. 'Returning to how we were is impossible now.' Her frustration welled up in her like a pot ready to boil over. 'I cannot become immortal. Why can't you just want me the way I am?' Rin thought as she removed her soaked and stained kimono and put on some spare sleep ware that she had left behind in the room she shared with Taki. She climbed into her cold futon and let the drowsiness she'd been feeling overtake her.

She slept lightly and was awoken when Taki entered, tripping over a tatami mat. The girl smelled like she'd climbed inside a sake drum. She was drinking out of a small bottle she'd absconded with as the party wound down. "Taki you smell like a distillery." Rin whispered scolding the girl.

"Have a sip." Taki sat down on the floor next to Rin's futon. Rin refused the bottle and her friend took another swig. "I heard Koji lost his mind." Rin laughed softly.

"Lord Sesshomaru would have killed him if I hadn't told him to stop." Rin sounded exasperated.

"Do you blame him? He spared you a lot of tears. I bet if you called for him now, he'd come for you."

"He's not wrapped around my finger" Rin's tone reflected her uncertainty.

"I have this crazy feeling that he doesn't find you repulsive at all. If you don't tell him, then I will." Taki took another sip, offering Rin the bottle again. The girl accepted the invitation after her friend told her it would boost her confidence. Rin took two healthy gulps.

"I hope this works." There was no better time than the present. Rin took a deep breath and smiled sheepishly as she rose to her feet and headed down the hall and to Sesshomaru's room. She spoke through the sliding door constructed of bamboo and rice paper

"Lord Sesshomaru may I enter?"

He permitted her to come in. The lamps were burning low in his room and spicy incense filled the small space with their sweet musky odor. "What is it Rin?" His gaze entranced her. Her heart pounded in her chest.

"I wanted to thank you for keeping me from harm." She didn't look right. Something about the way her cheeks were flushed and the way her eyes had lost their ability to focus made him believe she was intoxicated.

"Have you been drinking?" He came closer to the girl and inspected her. Rin backed away and averted her gaze. She remained silent. He was so close. He could smell the alcohol on her.

"Yes." She took a seat on the edge of his futon. Her legs felt wobbly. "Did it please you to hurt Koji?" This is not why she had come, but she wanted to know.

"Do you think it pleased him to hurt you?" She nodded her head. "Should I have let him continue to come after you?" He knelt down in front of her and looked her squarely in the face to drive his point home.

"No, but you would have killed him if I hadn't asked you to release him. For the first time in my life, I was scared of you." Rin looked deeply into his eyes. "Sometimes I feel as if you're two different people. I'm afraid you'll become something I don't recognize." She pulled her knees to her chest and hid her face behind her folded up legs.

In a way he was two separate entities. She had run from him because the depths of his demonic desires scared her. Sesshomaru could not help that he enjoyed hurting the monk. Rin was very important to him, and Koji's behavior would not be tolerated.

"You have to decide whether what I am is something you can accept." His voice washed over her. His nearness was affecting her.

"Not until you accept what I am." She retorted feeling the statement went both ways. "If humans are so repulsive then why-" The girl was interrupted mid sentence when she was pulled close to Sesshomaru. "Why do you keep me around?" She said faintly.

"Because you make me happy Rin." Sesshomaru was rewarded by her delighted smile. He pulled the pin out of her thick smooth still damp hair. Their eyes locked and he moved in slowly. He placed his lips on hers and gave her a soft kiss. The sensation was undeniably pleasurable. Rin's heart beat rapidly as she felt the passion behind his kiss. She kissed him back with the same driving want, pulling his body close to hers.

They came to a point at which he placed himself on top of her. Not more than half an inch separated them. Rin felt a desperate need to give herself to him. She fumbled to undo her kimono. Sesshomaru grabbed her wrists and put them above her head. He released them, instead choosing to flatten her balled fists with his long fingers. "Relax, Rin." His deep voice said that he wanted her his way. He moved in and kissed her softly this time, freeing her hands so that he might use his.

He traced her long throat with his lips. Rin spread her legs as his body moved closer to hers. Her kimono cinched up, and she opened herself up to him. Sesshomaru's hips pressed against her pubic bone. The rough wool of his pants brushed her inner thigh as she wrapped her firm young legs around him. She intertwined with his body, moving against him lost in the moment.

She was prepared for what was to come next, breaking their humid embrace, she whispered in his ear. "Please Lord," She was cut off when he began to undo the front of her robe. His mouth found hers again, and pushed the robe away from her warm soft skin. She pulled her arms out of the sleeves wrapping them around Sesshomaru. He undid her breast binding for her, pulling Rin close. He could feel her heart beating powerfully in her chest. The only scrap of clothing that the girl had on was her loin cloth. She was every bit the virgin, and she felt shy being naked in front of a man. He looked in to her eyes, and she smiled at him.

"Do you trust me Rin?" He asked seriously.

"Yes." She nodded, "of course I do."

"Do you trust that I won't harm you?" She nodded again. "You need to relax." He placed his hand over her heart, and felt it's beat begin to slow. As his eyes met hers, Rin knew now was the right time to tell him.

"Lord Sesshomaru," She began and stopped out of embarrassment. Her mouth felt dry as she was trying to muster up her courage. "I Love you. I've loved you for a very long time." She couldn't hold her feelings in any longer. The words had a profound impact on him.

"Is that so?" It was that standard issue response she'd been used to.

"I don't care if you never feel the same way. I will follow you until the day I die, even though I know how you feel about humans."

"Do you now? Then how do I feel about you Rin?" Rin looked at him confused. She hesitated.

"I don't know. How do you feel about me?" Her voice was soft and colored with a longing to hear those three words.

"I thought it didn't matter." Sesshomaru said cooly.

"Maybe it does more than I'd like it to. Could you ever love me Lord Sesshomaru?"

"Do you want me to?" She wondered if this was entertaining for him. He couldn't explain why dragging Rin's direct feelings out of her brought him so much pleasure.

"Even if you didn't, I'd still want you. So please tell me," she asked again, "do you love me?" Sesshomaru never expressed how he felt. Silence seemed to be the ideal answer when questions of this nature arose. She touched his face again. She brushed the backs of her fingers against his cheek. He closed his eyes enjoying her touch. Sesshomaru considered the short time he'd known Rin. The accumulation of memories he'd made with the girl would stand out when the darkness came for him, long after Rin was dead. The time he spent with her would be the most important in his life.

"You know the answer don't you?" Sesshomaru asked Rin and she shook her head confused. "My heart and my life are yours. I will love you until the day I die." The girl could feel the tenderness and sincerity in the demon's words. Rin was astonished at the demon's admission. She never knew his feelings ran so deep. The shell that he'd surrounded himself with so completely had a small opening just for her.

She leaned up to kiss him. She undid the ties that closed the front of his tunic and slid it off of his broad shoulders. After many centuries of solitary living, her warm silky skin overwhelmed the demon. She was perfect and she was all his. Leading his hand to her loincloth she told Sesshomaru that she would like to make love to him.

The pair expressed the unconditional love they felt for one another by consummating their passion. The demon did his best not to hurt the girl. It was odd that just being with her could give him so much pleasure. He felt complete when he joined with her, and when they finished an uncanny euphoria spread through his veins. He held Rin close to him. Her soft breathing and her warm sleeping body pressed so tightly against him was imprinted on his mind.

Sesshomaru had drifted off into the empty space of his subconscious. "Wake up Sesshomaru." The voice roused him. "Come to the cave."

.


	12. Whatever the Consequences May Be

Chapter 12: Whatever the Consequences May Be

He rose gently, sliding out and away from Rin. The bond was officially cemented and the dynamic of their relationship had significantly changed. She was his woman and his world. Whatever happened next, Rin would be the mitigating factor in his decision making process. The low burning wicks had gone dead, and the room had grown colder. Sesshomaru got up and dressed silently. He grabbed his sword and made his way to the back of the temple. When he exited, small snow flurries were winding their way down to earth as they had been in the first prophetic dream he'd had about the cave. The entrance was clearly visible against the overcast sky, and a wet frigid breeze blew against the demon's face. He walked down the small path to the opening and dipped under the crispy dried rope that notified visitors that the place was holy and unwelcome to intruders.

The inside of the cave was significantly warmer. A sterile sapphire flame consumed the rickety wooden shrine. The spectral illusion illuminated the cave. Sesshomaru was compelled to inspect the unnatural occurrence. What looked like a woman's arm darted out of the flame and clasped onto the divine beads dangling around the demon's neck. The beads froze as he was pulled forward. "Come with me Sesshomaru." It was the voice. "It's time to decide."

As his body dissolved and was absorbed by the necklace, the border that separated the world and his ego melted into one. A thousand thoughts were flashing before his eyes, and extreme confusion set in. The reality of the cave was long gone, and his spirit was dragged a million miles an hour across the universe past volatile twisting and twirling galaxies to some unknown location. A dim light far far away was drawing nearer. His body reassembled as the light grew and prepared to swallow him whole. He was finally pulled to the other side and awoke naked in a vast over grown glen. It seemed as if he were stumbling out of a very long dream.

All his senses felt heightened as they had been when he was a demon. He passed his hand in front of his face. The claws and distinguishing marks of his demon blood had returned, along with the soft white fur that draped over his shoulder. The sun felt warm on his bare skin as it shone through a myriad of leaves swinging to and fro on gigantic trees covered with pockets of moss. A large butterfly the color of marmalade flew overhead followed dreamily by it's mate. Cool grass grew in tall shoots and encompassed the frame of his body. He could hear the shu shu shu of water crawling on to and retreating from the land. He sat up to get a look at his surroundings. Wildflowers of varying shades and sizes being visited by thousands of butterflies abruptly stopped at the shore of a large crystalline lake.

He stood up and began walking in the direction of the water. The area appeared to be untouched by the hands of man. It would have been Rin's idea of heaven. The shore was comprised of loose white sand that spanned the distance of the lake bed. It's clarity was astonishing. He could see the bottom until it dropped off significantly turning into a mysterious cobalt depression. The water was surprisingly warm as it broke in gentle waves on the sand. Magnificent mountains of ore red stone surrounded the area. Rushing waterfalls tumbled haphazardly over the side of the stone masses constantly filling the lake. Towering powder white cloud formations scooted along on the breeze. The water reflected the sun like the fire in a finely cut gem. This place was too beautiful to be real. He followed the moist shoulder of sand wondering where he'd been brought.

He spotted a path that had been tread into compacted clay leading into the dense forest of giants. Roots as thick as a normal trees rose up out of the ground like arthritic fingers covered lichens. Mushrooms grew on every rotting surface in the dim moist climate controlled environment. Everything smelled of the rich dark nutrient laden soil created by the hungry fungus. The bird song was deafening. Vibrantly colored birds with incandescent feathers swooped in an out of the long heavy branches. Peacocks scuttled along the ground and into the depths of the forest. The roots of the trees crisscrossed the gently upward sloping path creating a natural stairway. Life flourished enthusiastically all around Sesshomaru. This world was a far cry from the empty crypt that awaited him. Magnolia trees along the incline were in bloom and their cast off petals fluttered around him. Small pools with minnows and little frogs spilled over into creeks that flowed downhill to the large lake.

He had come to where the path evened out. He spotted a pallid figure in the distance.

A woman who's being radiated a warm white glow was sitting on the raised root of a colossal willow tree. The ancient beast loomed over an emerald pond cluttered with wide blooming pink and white lotus blossoms. She rose and moved to meet Sesshomaru as if she had been waiting for him. Seedlings burst to life any place she made contact. In fact, the place where she had been sitting was awash in clover and little red rosebuds. Her scent was that of the earth, and of the verdant place where Sesshomaru had awoken. "Hello Sesshomaru." This woman was ethereal in her beauty. She was also the source of the voice. Her sparkling jade almond shaped eyes met his as if she were looking at someone very familiar. The dark hair which cascaded over her shoulders and down her back was intermingled with white flowers. She was draped in a sheer material that reminded him of stardust. The fabric left nothing to the imagination. She was as nude as he was. Her large firm breasts invoked a notion of being incredibly fertile. "Welcome." Her smile was as warm as the sun overhead.

"Who are you?"

"I am the origin of everything natural. In another time I'll be known as the alpha and the omega, the beginning and the end." Her soft feminine voice had lost it's sterility. She was God in a manner of speaking. She grabbed him by the hand and began leading him back to the large willow tree. She felt quite real, and Sesshomaru was overcome with an impression of wholeness at her touch. They stopped short of the gargantuan tree. "This tree is a representation of the numerous organic vessels that connect my spirit to the worldly plain. Their seeds took root in the soil billions of years ago and serve as my only link to the earth. The original has been cut down for along time, and used for many things such as my shrine and your beads. What you're wearing is a holy artifact fashioned from one the oldest trees on earth." He placed his hand on the wide trunk of the dipping weeping willow.

"What will happen if I remove the beads?" They were gone for the present, but the situation was complicated.

"That's a difficult question. You've been offered a choice to remain human. Will you take it?"

"Yes, if it means I can be with Rin. I want to be human."

"Then you must kill with the demon that has control of your soul." She mentioned the process so matter of factly. "This must be done as a man if you wish to regain your humanity completely." She remained quiet for a moment running her fingers along the feathery crackling bark. "Once you engage the demon, there will be no turning back."  
"Whatever the consequences may be, I have made my choice. I wish to remain human." With those words she turned and walked towards Sesshomaru. She placed her hand over his heart. "Arrise demon." She said softly before placing her lips on his. Her creamy form merged into his. As she passed through him like a phantom, his body burned from the core.

Sesshomaru dropped to his hands and knees as his being felt as if it were ripping in two. He gnashed his teeth and dug his fingers into the soft moist soil at the base of the willow. His bones were crunched and splintered in an effort to replicate themselves rapidly to meet the needs of a quickly developing entity. The buds of fingers elongated, and a pale hand the same size as his peeled away from his arm. It was as if some other creature was shedding it's skin as the true fiend in him awoke. The beast writhed and struggled against Sesshomaru from the inside as his demonic energy was drained from his veins. A second head that began as a searing blister forcefully jerked back. The demon's face burst out of the base of Sesshomaru's skull and gasped for air. His other arm was alredy errupting, and he now resembled Shiva. The demon's hands barred down on Sesshomaru's shoulders and with a Herculean push the shared flesh divided in two. The legs fruited in a similar fashion as the arms, and finally the demon was free. A burst of energy forced them apart and Sesshomaru landed a number of meters away.

When he stood up rattled from the exorcism, Sesshomaru was back in his mortal form, just as he had entered the cave. He was dressed and his sword had managed to pass through as well. He was thankful to have protection as he sized up his opponent. The beautiful demon rose and moved towards him, baring his toxic fangs in a threatening toothy grin. His frigid eyes pierced his human counter part. Sesshomaru drew his sword just as a phosphorescent whip slapped the ground next to him leaving plant life charred to a crisp in it's wake. He charged towards his former self deflecting the flailing attacks with his powerful demonic sword. It was all he could do to keep up. When he came close to the demon, a stealthy hand jetted out and punctured through Sesshomaru's midsection. His signature move was being used against him. He was stunned and shivered as his body went into paralysis. His organs were quickly shutting down as poison raced through his system.

xXx

Rin's eyes flew open and she arose from a deep sleep. She had been having a nightmare about Sesshomaru. She ran as fast as her feet could carry her through endless corodors looking for the exit. Something was after her. Her heart raced as every path led to barred doors or a dead end. Suddenly everything went dark and she heard a Sesshomaru's low growl behind her.

When she sat up, Rin realized he was gone. Her intuition told her that he'd gone to the cave. He'd be a demon again. She wrapped the blanket around herself, remembering giving herself to him just hours before. She was driven to go find him. She sensed he was in danger. Rin made her way out of the temple and up the path to the entrance of the cave. The snow had gradually gotten heavier since Sesshomaru had gone down into the earth. Big complicated flakes the size of quarters fell all around her. When she came to the opening of the cave, the entrance was blocked by a force field. She placed her hand on the hot plasmic bubble restricting her from entering the cave. "Lord Sesshomaru," Rin's voice was carried back to her on an echo. The barrier scalded her bare palms and she rubbed her burned hands attentively with snow.

Sesshomaru was loosing focus thinking about his life as the priest had done the night before. Rin's voice invaded the fuzz of his last moments. Rin sounded as if she were calling out to him from underwater. "When we're one again, hers will be the first heart we eat. I'll make her tell me that she loves us before enjoying the taste of her flesh." Sesshomaru's hand gripped tightly around the Bakusaiga. With the strength he had left, and the will to protect Rin, Sesshomaru sank the unimaginably sharp sword into the beast's vulnerable lower abdomen. He sliced up through the top of the demon's head and once again across the neck for good measure. The demon that had claimed Sesshomaru's soul for centuries turned to dust and blew away. Bakusaiga followed the beast into oblivion, no longer having a place in this world.

Another muffled cry for Lord Sesshomaru came through the abyss. He placed his hand over the fatal wound on his torso and stubling backward, Sesshomaru collapsed. He was still poisoned afterall, and his kidneys and liver had already failed. A rattling cough shook Sesshomaru's lungs, followed by blood. Being liquefied from the inside was pretty painless he thought. 'I was able to protect Rin one last…' The image of the girl's smile faded to black as Sesshomaru stopped stirring.

When he came to, he realized he was dead. The underworld had come to claim him. His form was no longer solid. His essence and memories were all that remained of Sesshomaru. His material body was left back in that beautiful place underneath the massive willow. Rin was even farther away than that. This life had ended much like the one before. He'd be leaving the woman he loved behind once more. He knew he would he never see Rin again, and for the first time in his exceptionally long and troubled life, Sesshomaru appealed to a higher power. He asked to be allowed to come back.

Tears had come to Rin's eye's. The girl grew worried, and a strange panic had over come her. She knew in her heart of hearts that something was very wrong. 'Please be alright.' She repeated to her self over and over again.

Nature walked to the fallen Sesshomaru and tenderly placed her hand on the gaping hole in his guts. His blood still felt warm as it stained her white hand. She'd heard his plea. "Wake up Sesshomaru." She spoke as she gently placed her lips on his again, giving him the kiss of life.

The poison leached from his system and and was absorbed by the diety. The failed organs began functioning again, and the cells in Sesshomaru's broken down body were working at uncomprehendable rates to bring him back to life. His heart started and his eyes opened. The giant weeping willow and the beautiful woman gazing at him in tense expectation came into focus. She smiled, grateful to be able to preform the act of giving life. Sesshomaru sat up feeling exhausted and weak. His stomach lurched and he vomited from the sudden motion.

He'd been dead just a moment ago. Where he ended up, time was insignificant. He'd landed smack dab in the middle of the underworld that he'd been promised he could avoid.

"You brought me back to life?" It was a heady incredulous feeling. Nothing compared to being alive. "Thank you." He murmured humbly. The deity nodded pleased with herself. Then he remembered the location of his final resting place. "I was in the underworld." His deep voice sounded defeated. "Wasn't becoming human enough?"

"Why would it be Sesshomaru?" Her brow furrowed as she peered into his eyes. "Your soul is still damned."

"Can I save my soul? How do I escape this fate?"

"Use the rest of the life that has been given to you to understand what it means to be human." She placed a hand on his cheek drawing him in. "You must accept life as it comes and you must learn to carry on as a man." She warned cryptically. "Compassion for, a trust in, and a general concern for humans will be the indicators of whether or not you'll be allowed to reincarnate and join Rin again in the future. Do you believe you have it in you?"

He nodded solemnly. A strange and dim course lingered a head of him. "If she is that important to you," The diety spoke as she motioned for Sesshomaru to follow her to the timeless willow. "I have faith that you can make it to the other side." He gave the earth spirit a rare and authentic smile.

"Thank you." He had many things he wanted to say, but she understood that his gratitude encompassed an ocean of appreciation. "I believe we'll meet each other again."

"I look forward to that Sesshomaru. As for now, it's time for you to go." She instructed him to place both hands on the trunk of the largest tree he'd ever seen and to think of Rin. He closed his eyes as he was absorbed. Confusion set in again and before he knew it, he was speeding down the temporal pathway that connected this reality with the next. On the way the back he witnessed clusters of stars being formed. The light that was to take him back to Rin was opening up again, ever expanding like the maw of a toothless colossus. Eventually it stretched to the top and the bottom of the horizion. As his molecules reformed, he was consumed by the great light and woke up on the dark floor of the shrine.

Rin was by his side in a matter of seconds asking if he was alright in a frightened voice. The incredible flash was blinding.

"I'm fine." He said gruffly. Relived, the girl lost all composure and hugged him around the neck tightly.

"I thought something terrible had happened to you." He placed his arms around her small shaking frame. "I was afraid you were dead." She's knew without knowing that he'd died. Sesshomaru pondered the wonder of their fated bond, and he smiled.

"I was Rin." The admission had caught her off guard and her eyes brimming with tears burned into his as if she were trying to make sure he was real. He was still smiling.

"Why are you smiling? Being dead isn't funny." She'd never once seen him so much as grin in the ten years they'd been traveling together and it took her mind of his being recently deceased.

"Because I was able to come back to you." Her heart filled with happiness and she kissed him passionately. She slid a hand behind his neck and realized the that the beads were missing. There were so many things she didn't understand.

"Your beads are gone." She spoke breathily as she broke the connection between her and Sesshomaru. "Why haven't you gone back to being a demon?"

"Being with you is more important." That simple statement overwhelmed the girl.

"Are you human then?" He nodded, confirming that it was true. His elusive grin straightened out. His eyes locked on hers and she felt like he could see the contents of her heart. A final wish from his past life flashed before Sesshomaru's mind.

"Do you believe in fate?" The question was unexpected.

"Yes, I think we were brought together for a reason." She looked away bashfully.

"Have you ever wanted to make a family with someone?"

"Only you." Her soft embarrassed voice couldn't cover up the fact that Rin was extremely certain of that fact.

"Is that so?" She nodded with a smile.

"I'll never love anyone else as much as long as I live." This time when she answered she sounded more confident and less afraid of her feelings.

"Will you marry me?" She felt dazed by the question. He did not need prompting from his previous life to make Rin his wife. He helped her to her feet.

"Yes." Her response was coupled with an elated smile. She was sublime in her happiness. He took her soft little hand in his and led her out of the cave into the dark snowy hours of the early morning. The air was freckled with heavy sparkling flakes which clung to Rin and Sesshomaru's hair and bodies as they entered the back of the temple. They shook the frozen precipitation off of their heavy clothing before entering the building. The pair crept inaudibly through the halls of the temple back to Sesshomaru's room.

The room was pitch black but still carried the sweet intoxicating odor from earlier. Sesshomaru helped Rin take her wet kimono off of her shoulders. She turned to face him, with the darkness prevailing. She ran the pads of her index fingers down to were his tunic tied. The fabric was covered in little cold beads of melting snow. She undid the loose knot that kept the tattered top closed and slid her hands around his chest bringing herself close to him. She kissed him softly on the neck and suggested they go lay down.

The chill of the room wore off as they explored each other in a hot blooded display of ardor. Rin had never felt such a pleasant loss of control before. She didn't have a care in the world when Sesshomaru touched her like that. He still practiced caution, attempting not to hurt the girl, but she seemed to be enjoying herself quite a bit. Her moans and gasps excited him and he pressed his mouth upon hers as ecstasy swept through his whole body.

He rested his head on her chest and cradled her small body with his long and sinewy one. She ran her fingers through his dark sliky hair and he fell asleep listening to her heart. She slipped off into a dreamless sleep shortly after that feeling content in the moment.

A screeching woman running down the hallway jolted both Sesshomaru and Rin awake. Sesshomaru was in his clothes and out the door before before Rin had the first layer of her kimono on. Her arm had fallen asleep and her fingers were stiff. Once she was dressed, Rin headed towards the action. What she saw when she got outside was ridiculous. Jakken was on A-Un's back threatening the residents of the temple with his staff of two heads.

"I'll burn this place to the ground if you don't summon Lord-Lord Sesshomaru!" His little toadish eyes and gravelly voice reflected his relief at seeing his lord. "What the hell?" He smelled like Sesshomaru, but he most certainly did not look like him.

"Jakken what are you doing?" This human sounded like Sesshomaru too. Rin ran to Sesshomaru's side and smiled at Jakken. The goblin had a confused and heartbroken look on his face.

"Say it isn't so Lord Sesshomaru! What's happened to you?" A large frown pulled the corners of his wide mouth down. What had become of his role model?

"Why are you here?" Sesshomaru asked flatly. Rin thought the interchange was very funny.

"I came to rescue you." He wailed pathetically. "When you left me in that vile human village I thought you'd be back quickly. I couldn't wait any longer. This isn't funny girl!" Jakken chastised Rin for chuckling at him. She could barely contain herself watching the little goblin fret. "From the looks of it, I should have come sooner." Jakken remained airborn on the back of A-un. He eyed Sesshomaru disappointedly.

"If you cannot stand what you see, then turn around and leave me to my fate Jakken." It didn't matter what Sesshomaru was, Jakken would remain loyal to his master. Originally Jakken wanted to be used by someone powerful in the hopes of becoming powerful himself, but now it was a matter of devotion to someone he considered a close friend.

"Will you come with us Lord Sesshomaru? We have to go now or A-Un and I will be purified!" Jakken spoke quickly with a mournful and agitated croak as he began to look very uncomfortable. The purity of the land radiated into the air via the evaporating snow and the large pack lizard began to stagger trying to stay afloat. Sesshomaru consented knowing that the little toad had gone farther into a purified area than he should have. He also knew that this would be their last chance to get away from the temple before next spring.

A-Un swooped down inches above the ground, and Rin climbed on the beast's back. Sesshomaru seated himself behind the girl and instructed the lizard to take them home.

Taki ran out from the crowd gathered outside of the temple calling her farewells out to Rin. The beast sped away before she could say good bye to the girl. Rin wondered if she'd see her friend again.

The journey back to the village was uneventful, and by nightfall they had reached the outskirts of Kaede's village. Jakken had a hard time taking his eyes off of Sesshomaru, it was as if the universe was playing a huge joke on the minion. He wondered where the real demon was hiding. After a few hours he gave up on trying to get Sesshomaru to explain what had happened and why he had chosen to be human.

Rin turned her face and cast a long glance at Sesshomaru wondering if he was ready for a mortal life. His eyes, cold as ever, met hers and she blushed a little remembering their conversation earlier. She knew he wouldn't have gone through all the effort of becoming mortal if he didn't truly want her. She slackened and leaned against him as she saw the first star of the evening flickering from the frozen depths of space. Rin knew she was home when A-Un's direction changed from a straight away into a descent. Plumes of smoke billowing out of the tops of the cozy huts were the first familiar thing to welcome Rin on her way home.

A-Un landed in the center of the village. The first person to know that Rin had returned was Kohaku. He was outside of Sango's hut gathering more wood for their cooking fire when movement in the corner of his eye caught his attention. 'Rin?' He thought. The sight of her stopped him in his tracks. The look on his face was uncanny as if he'd seen a ghost. She leapt off the beast and ran to the boy she'd known forever and embraced him. He did not embrace her back. It was too sudden for Kohaku. Sesshomaru's dark appearance was unsettling to the demon slayer as well. 'So you found her…' he mulled inwardly. Sesshomaru's indifference to his ward had worn thin on Kohaku's patience, and her disappearance was the last straw. Where was the demon when Rin had gone missing?

Kohaku's body felt stiff and solid as if he were ready to strike. At that moment he knew in the depths of his guts that Rin was lost to him forever. It was easier thinking she was dead.

Kohaku pushed away from the girl and walked away from her. He headed towards Sango's hut not giving the group a second glance.

Rin turned her confused and hurt eyes to Sesshomaru not quite understanding what had just happened. She didn't have much time to think about Kohaku's cold attitude before Sango intercepted her. "Rin is it really you?" Rin nodded happily. Half way through her appraisal of the missing girl her eyes shifted to the incredibly handsome man standing next to A-Un. "My word." Sango's voice caught in her throat. "Is that you Sesshomaru?"

Author's Note: For those of you have been reading this story from the beginning, I'm sorry there's been such a delay between now and the last update. I'm a full time student and I work full time. Being an adult and working for the man hasn't left me much time to write. On a side note, DAMN THE MAN! Damn him to hell!

I'm going to try and get the next couple of chapters out in a more timely fashion. I'm having an amazing time writing this story. Thank you everyone for reading and for all the wonderful reviews and awesome supportJ.

For those who are just joining us, thanks for reading! Anyhoo, we're on the down slope to the exciting conclusion. Go team Venture!


	13. Chapter 13

-1Chapter 13: Home

Rin's glazed and tired eyes fixated on the glowing embers of Kaede's fire. 'We never should have come back.' Her stomach twisted on itself remembering the hate in Kohaku's eyes. 'Where did you go Sesshomaru?' Her mind turned to Sesshomaru, he'd hurt her deeply enough that she couldn't bare the sight of him. 'How could you say that?'

Kagome had pushed passed Sango to get to Rin. The girl sagged under Kagome's full weight. The woman pulled Rin into herself as if the girl had come back from the dead. "I'm so…Rin I thought I'd never see you again." she burst into relieved and joyful tears. "If I would have known, I would have never asked you to go into the woods!" Two years of guilt were lifted off of Kagome's shoulders when Rin told her she was alright. Through blurry eyes, the woman noticed something very different about Sesshomaru. He looked uncomfortably at Kagome.

"What happened?" The question escaped her lips in a surprised gasp. The priestess was very confused.

"We ran into some trouble at the temple." Rin said straightly as Inuyasha, Miroku, and Kaede came into view. The girl thought it was weird and flattering that it took the group a while recognize the demon. Inuyasha seemed most shocked that his brother had even let himself be purified.

Rin suggested they go inside and catch up, stating that it didn't make sense to stand out in the cold. The group followed Kagome back to her hut. Sesshomaru fell towards the back and walked alongside Kaede. She appraised him silently. He'd had a very mystical hand laid upon him indeed. "I need to speak with you." He wouldn't have addressed her unless he needed something. He'd also been watching Rin the whole time he'd been walking beside Kaede. This was not the normal Sesshomaru.

"I believe you do." The old woman said as she veered away from the group and towards her hut. She turned her face to Sesshomaru and tilted her head in the direction of her small home, indicating that he should join her. He followed the old woman, slipping away from their welcoming party unnoticed. Rin's attention was divided as Sango and Kagome pulled her along asking numerous questions at the same time. She didn't realize he had gone any where until she entered Kagome's home.

Sesshomaru and Kaede entered her empty little hut. Rin's belongings remained against the wall as they had been left. Sesshomaru took a seat on the girl's empty futon. It felt cold and stiff from lack of use. "I kept everything the way she left it. I hoped with all my heart she'd be back." Kaede said to Sesshomaru as she stoked the flame in her cooking pit. In the warm light of the small fire the woman looked old. She had aged significantly since the time Rin had become a resident of the village. During the years that the girl had been gone, the gaunt shadows that and contours of Kaede's skull grew longer as the elasticity of the skin on her face had all but vanished. She rested her good eye on Sesshomaru, "Now that you're human, what do you intend to do?"

"I wish to marry Rin." He said without hesitation.

"You've had a significant change of heart." The old woman balked. "What exactly happened when you went to go find her?"

"Is my desire to be with Rin so ridiculous?" Sesshomaru questioned prickly. He did not expect have to defend his position. "It's none of your business."

"Go find someone else to marry you then." Kaede said briskly. "She is like the child I never had, and I want to ensure that she'll be taken care of. You've been known to stray away for long periods of time which is very upsetting for her. If you're going to be her husband, that kind of behavior is inexcusable." Her dry crackling voice took on a stern air of authority. "When you choose to marry a woman, it's a life long commitment. You've never been a friend to humans, what makes Rin so different?" Her argument held water.

Sesshomaru relayed the events spanning from encountering the girl at the purification pool to the moment Jakken showed up. The old woman was incredibly intrigued. Sesshomaru had been granted clemency from hell, and given a chance to save his soul from the unshakable oblivion of the underworld.

"Does Rin know that you're soul mates?" Kaede asked marveling at the desires of the human heart.

"No. I'd like her to believe my feelings are my own." He said introspectively.

"I assume you've asked to marry her already." Sesshomaru nodded.

"I've lived a long time searching for Rin. Our existences are intertwined and I want to give her a life that will make her happy." His tone took on a tenderness when he spoke about the girl, revealing the deep affection he felt for his ward. He'd sacrificed everything including his power and title for a poor peasant. Kaede took those facts to heart and agreed to marry Rin and Sesshomaru.

As Kaede and Sesshomaru exited her hut, Kohaku was coming their way. He was leaving the village with his belongings slung over his back. Something about is demeanor worried the woman. His eyes were focused, burning into Sesshomaru. The demon slayer had grown even more agitated since their initial encounter. They would collide if one or the other did not move. Kaede couldn't understand why the boy looked like he wanted to pick a fight. Kohaku bashed his shoulder into Sesshomaru's arm with an angry and solid blow. In turn, Sesshomaru turned around and grabbed the demon slayer, scuffing him by the collar. He flung the boy to the ground right on to his back. Kohaku spit at Sesshomaru as if he were ejecting some acrid and foul taste out of his mouth. The taunt landed squarely on Sesshomaru's cheek, and his fist solidly met the middle of Kohaku's face with a pop. Sesshomaru sprung off of Kohaku, feeling foolish for losing his poise. Spit is where he drew the line. The boy took the solid right hook with grace and was back on his feet in an instant. The demon slayer charged at Sesshomaru with fists raised. Sesshomaru dodged one punch, but Kohaku connected with his chest. All the anger inside of him poured to his balled fists.

He wanted to smash Sesshomaru until he was unrecognizable. He never wanted to kill a demon so much in his life.

Sesshomaru punched Kohaku in his guts with enough force to knock him out. Kohaku grabbed Sesshomaru by the neck with two large hands and clamped down. He began pushing forward with every ounce of his brawny might. Sesshomaru punched the boy in the face again jarring his jaw and stunning him. The boy stumbled backward and Sesshomaru went after him again.

"Stop Lord Sesshomaru! Kohaku!" Rin's frantic voice rang out clearly as she ran as fast as her feet would carry her to end the fight. Sesshomaru's fist stopped just inches before crumpling the boy's face like an aluminum soda can. Kohaku stared up at Rin, dazed, realizing he was on his back. The last thing he remembered was that had been fighting because Rin hadn't chosen him. His inadequacy and jealousy took him over, manifesting into blind rage. He'd fight again if it would change anything, but as the tidal wave of adrenaline subsided he realized the futility waging a war that could not be won. A second face, the face of the man he hated came into view. Rin turned her eyes away from Kohaku's, and scrutinized Sesshomaru. "What were you doing?" She sounded upset and frightened. "Were you trying to kill him?" Sesshomaru was taken back by her anger. He was the one she had asked to stop. He remained mute; shouldering the responsibility of being the sole party responsible for the fight stole the words right out of his mouth.

Kaede hobbled up out of breath. Even before the first swing had been thrown, the old woman knew she had to stop the altercation before it got out of hand. Both Sesshomaru and Kohaku had no qualms with settling arguments with violence. She moved as quickly as she could, bursting into Kagome's hut. She was looking to one of the guys to stop the fight before it became serious, but it was Rin who ran into the fray instead. The girl darted past Inuyasha and Miroku shaking their foreign and restraining hands off of her, unconcerned if she got hit in the crossfire.

"Kohaku started the fight! Sesshomaru was defending himself." The old woman said feeling that the girl had misunderstood the nature of the situation. Rin stepped away from the boy wondering why he'd instigate a fight. She noticed his packed sack of belongings on the ground next to his prone body, and understood that he was on his way out of the village.

"You were going to leave without telling anyone?" Rin said softly as if trying to wrap her head around his impulsive decision. Kohaku sat up and nodded. The daze of being knocked out had worn off and a salty metallic flavor filled the inside of his mouth. He swished and spit out saliva tinged with blood on the ground at Rin's feet as he stood up. His eyes shifted from Rin to Sesshomaru and back to Rin. He imagined them together and his heart descended into his stomach. Rin made a motion to inspect the boy's face for real damage, but he swatted her away irritably. She was too close, and he wanted to hate her at that moment.

"I looked for you everyday." Kohaku said finally. Rin's eyes met his, imagining him describing her to anyone who would listen, and getting nowhere. "He didn't even know you were missing!" The boys anger bubbled over, and threatened to burst into a fresh wave of violence. "Where was he when you could have been easily found? Don't you understand? He doesn't care about you!" His voice cracked as he expelled the pent up frustration of such a fruitless search. "I heard them talking. What you are going to marry is not human.-"

Somewhere beyond the fray, a confused murmur rippled between Inuyasha and the others. They weren't certain if they heard Kohaku correctly. Rin was focused on Kohaku and Kohaku alone. He didn't understand anything at all! Sesshomaru had sparred Kohaku's life. He'd given the boy a sanctuary from Naraku knowing that he couldn't be trusted. Had he forgotten about that?

"You believe you can judge and damn him so easily!" She cut him off, moving closer to him, she attempted to slap him in the face, but her delicate hand was caught, trapped in Kohaku's rough calloused grip. If he squeezed just so, the boy could have compressed Rin's hand into a broken bony pulp. Sesshomaru's eyes narrowed, and he watched Rin pull angrily against tightly closed fist. Kohaku released the girl, and Rin was quickly grabbed by Sesshomaru and placed behind him as he stepped in between her and the boy. Under normal circumstances Kohaku wouldn't let any other man treat her that way. But, he'd always had a hard time coping with the fact that Rin's heart did not belong to him and never would. The inevitability of it all was crushing him.

"You may be convinced that a few small acts of compassion can change a long history of despicable behavior, but I'm not. He's a murderous demon, even if he's disguised himself as something else." The words came out of the demon slayer as if he'd been possessed by the idea that hurting Rin, making her believe that he hated her had the power to mend his broken heart. As he spoke, he thought of how useless his love was if she wouldn't return it. The girl merely shook her head disbelieving that Kohaku could use such twisted logic against her. She attempted to swallow the storm that had been brewing since before the fight had begun.

As she scanned the demon slayer's face looking for some semblance of the boy she once knew, she realized that when he asked if she wanted a normal life, it meant with him. Kohaku watched Rin's hand grasp the sleeve of Sesshomaru's thick woolen shirt. He picked his satchel off of the ground and slung it over his shoulder. He turned his back on the group and made to leave the village. "Kohaku!" Rin cried as she moved out from behind the strong and protective wall of Sesshomaru's tense body. His patience was wearing thin. The demon slayer had spoken a few too many salacious things for him to be concerned if Kohaku stayed or left.

"Kohaku don't leave!" Even with the boy ignoring her, Rin chased after him. She caught him by the shoulder. "Please don't leave here angry." She said faintly, and Kohaku brushed her off like a horse shaking a biting fly off of its flank. He continued on, abandoning Rin at the outskirts of the village as he entered the barrier of the forest shadowed by the night. He didn't know where he was headed, but Kohaku knew he had to get away from Rin as soon as possible.

"What about you Kohaku?" Rin murmured as she thought about how they had come to know each other. A demon controlled his thoughts-his heart once. Why was he allowed forgiveness and not Sesshomaru?

Rin lagged behind the group after the surreal encounter between Kohaku and herself sank in. The girl's eyes turned to Sesshomaru who hadn't looked at her since she ran after Kohaku, begging him to stay. "The opinions of others stopped being of any value or interest to me a long time ago." Sesshomaru said frigidly as Kagome offered her profound apologies for the boy's behavoir. It had been a while since Rin had heard a tone like that come from her lord, and knew full well that the words had struck a nerve. She was certain that she had invited his displeasure by chasing after Kohaku instead of allowing him to walk away without so much as a word. But she could not betray her heart. She cared for Kohaku immensely, and under other circumstances, she may have welcomed the simple life that he desired from her.

The excitement of Rin's welcomed returned to the village had soured significantly. Those who had been intent on sharing the stories of the last two years, broke away and headed to their homes. Kagome wished the girl a good night, sensing the distance between Rin and Sesshomaru. "He and Inuyasha are every bit brothers, even thought they will both deny it until the day they die. He'll come around." Kagome said softly into Rin's ear as she hugged her goodnight. The girl was astounded by the woman's astute observation of the similarity between Sesshomaru and his half-brother. "Congratulations for what it's worth."

xXx

"You kept all of my things as they were?" Rin said surprised inspecting the small collection of belongings she had called her own before being abducted by criminal thugs on that muggy stormy summer afternoon. She noted that many of the items were small trinkets and tokens of affection from Sesshomaru.

"I wanted it to be as you had left it." The old priestess said as she fished through a large worn and crumbling wooden chest that had been warped by humid summer air and the chill of many long winters. She retrieved an old musty futon for Sesshomaru to sleep on. He took it from her and silently prepared it for himself against a far wall. Kaede excused herself from the hut for a moment, saying something about getting Kagome's opinion on a root. The old priestess wanted to give the pair space, feeling that Rin's actions had affected Sesshomaru more deeply than Kohaku's words. Rin had inadvertently sided with the demon slayer instead of her lover.

The girl didn't know if she should apologize. What did she need to apologize for? This was the second time in two days that she had to intervene before Sesshomaru killed someone. It seemed simple enough to sit by silently as he indulged himself, but it did not make him right. The girl wondered if her life with Sesshomaru would be filled with silence, and if it really mattered. It hadn't been of great import in the past. She also remembered Kagome's advice that the brothers were very similar and that Sesshomaru would come around.

Rin sorted through her things, pulling out the creamy yellow kimono that the demon had given her. She started putting it back when she noticed Sesshomaru watching her curiously. "The day Jakken brought me the gifts from the continent," She paused for a minute, smoothing her fingers over the lustrous silk . "I was so angry at you, that I stained the kimono with tears." Rin's eyes focused on the place where her tears had imprinted themselves on the fabric. "I just wanted to see you even if it was only for a moment." Her comment sounded as if the feeling were still fresh, "and when Jakken said that your plans were too important to come back, I didn't know what to think. I veered off the path to go to the place you had taken me before you left." She admitted, realizing the folly of being a victim to her own insecurity and need for validation. "I should have trusted you when you promised to return." The girl placed the kimono on her lap. "Do you know what it's like being told that you only cause problems?" Rin questioned passionately. The indifferent shroud Sesshomaru was wearing began to fall away as he listened to her. "Lord Sesshomaru, I believed Jakken when he said that you should be embarrassed of me." Rin's admissions were met with a ponderous silence. Jakken's harsh criticism of their relationship was callous and uncalled for, but Sesshomaru held himself accountable for Rin's disappearance. "Honestly, I thought I was being written off without even a proper goodbye. Who knew when you'd come back from your search? Kohaku only said the things that I've felt from time to time. I might have been an old lady when you returned." She wanted to say more. Like how years were same as moments to demons, but he was paying rapt attention to her now. She looked deeply into his eyes, and chose her words the best she could. "Nothing will stop me from caring about Kohaku. I could not sit back and watch you destroy him." He turned his face from hers and shook his head in disbelief. "With that said, I also know you wouldn't fight with him unless you were provoked." She acknowledged, endeavoring to explain herself without apologizing for her actions.

"Are you certain you can sustain devotion for two men that love you? You're going to have to make a choice at some point Rin." Sesshomaru warned. "If he provokes me again your words won't stop me next time." The look on the girl's face darkened.

"Will you kill every man that wants me?" Rin inquired with a salty tone. "You don't own me. And I'll be damned if you're going to place ultimatum on me Sesshomaru." His eyes narrowed. Something about being called Sesshomaru like that caused a very cruel and wicked thought to travel up his spine. Jealousy blurred his judgment, and he felt like being petty and vindictive.

"Feeling mutinous are you?" He challenged. "You don't actually believe that I need you, do you?" His deep voice had a satiny and alluring quality as a charming smile spread across his face. Rin swallowed hard as the words wound around her and cut off her air. She held her ground and refused to shed a tear to satisfy him.

"You should have left me for dead if that's how you feel." Rin's eyes pierced into Sesshomaru. "Get away from me!" The girl expelled furiously, so keyed up she could spit. Just as Rin had commanded, Sesshomaru was up and out of the hut walking blindly away from the village.

"Lord Sesshomaru!" Jakken called to Sesshomaru, after spotting his master striding with great purpose into the oblivion of the wilderness as the demon slayer had done earlier. "Where are you going?" The demon inquired, pulling the two-headed lizard in the direction of Sesshomaru and away from the fire of his camp. Had his lord come to his senses? Jakken hoped that Sesshomaru realized that deeply investing into Rin was an immense lapse judgment.

"Give me A-Un's reigns." Sesshomaru said shortly opening his large palm. Jakken placed the leather straps in Sesshomaru's hand. He climbed on the beast's back and with a nudge A-Un took to the sky. "Go grovel at someone else's feet." The demon's heart imploded as if it had been squeezed tightly and never released. What he had done to be dismissed after all these years of service?

Sesshomaru jetted off without a destination or purpose. Cool air hit his face as he glided south above low lying clouds, and the words played over and over again in his head. He meant what he had said to Jakken, but not to Rin. The girl's unwavering loyalty seemed less important now that he had the time to think. She had gotten angry in Sesshomaru's place, yet he still questioned her allegiance. It was true that she had stood by him, but her bond with Kohaku worried Sesshomaru. What if he failed to fulfill Rin's needs? Would she go astray from him, tumbling into the demon slayer's welcoming arms? The look in the boy's eyes reflected that he waited for that chance.

XXX

"What did you do you stupid girl?" Jakken squawked as he barged into Kaede's hut.

"What do you mean?" Rin snapped, quickly wiping her weeping eyes. The demon's interruption annoyed the already tightly wound girl.

"What did you say to Lord Sesshomaru? He just took off. You need to go apologize now!" Jakken said pointing at the heavy cloth flap.

Rin shook her head. He was the one that said he didn't need her. "I have nothing to apologize for. He was acting like an irrational swine." Jakken turned his face hopefully to the sound of someone entering the hut. It was only Kaede.

"Where did Sesshomaru go?" The old woman questioned almost to herself. Exasperation leaked into her words. "I wanted to speak to you both about the marriage." From the look of it, Rin did not want to think about being married to Sesshomaru at the moment. The girl relayed the angry words exchanged during the fight to the old woman.

"He said he didn't need me Kaede, how was I supposed to react to that?" Rin said quickly, Sesshomaru had verbalized the thing she feared the most.

"Look at it from his perspective. He's just turned into a man, and all he wants to do is marry you. That's the first thing he said he wanted to do when I asked him what his plans were." Kaede said plainly. "I don't think he intended on having to fight Kohaku for your affections. He didn't expect for yea to side with Kohaku either." The woman stopped Rin before she was able to offer her opinion on the matter. "I think you hurt his pride. It is in his nature to covet what he treasures." Meaning it was up to the girl to go find him.

The frozen wind pressing down from the north refreshed and concerned Rin as she acended above the tree tops on Kilala. Sesshomaru had left in the heat of the moment, as had Kohaku, but the only difference between the two was that the boy was prepared to travel. 'At least he's flying south', Rin assured herself, covering her legs with a second hand woven straw coverlet that was meant for Sesshomaru. The weather would be balmier if not dryer this time of year the closer he moved to the bottom of the island.

Rin had always believed Sesshomaru was so calculated and cold. It surprised her that something as normal as a little competition from another man could ruffle his feathers to the point of hurting Rin to protect himself. Envy and covetousness did not suit Sesshomaru in the least. The lurch of jealousy brought out the worst in his personality, and reflected poorly on his character. Although she was talking, Sesshomaru refused to hear her after she said that nothing would change how she felt about Kohaku. 'It's possible that he doesn't want me to find him.' Rin's eyes stung as the earth below grew nearer and nearer in a watery blur.

Kilala had begun to descend earlier than Rin had expected. As they came closer to an opening in the trees, the girl saw the orange flicker of a flame. It struck her as odd that Sesshomaru would have traveled such a short distance on A-Un. Her suspicions were satisfied when she spotted Kohaku sitting by a large reeling fire.

Rin attempted to guide the beast up and back into the sky far away from the boy's sights. Although, nothing could have stopped Kilala once she locked onto Kohaku's scent. Rin landed on the ground next to the fire, and the boy did not utter a word at her arrival. "Hello Kohaku," she mumbled awkwardly as Kilala brushed past her and laid down next to Sango's brother. The large cat shrank down to her reduced size and climbed in his lap, purring happily.

"Did you come to ask me back to the village? Did you want me to come home so I can watch you follow after Sesshomaru and beg for his attention?" Rin's brow crinkled with frustration. "You should be ashamed of yourself." He said stiffly.

"And why is that?" Rin asked waiting for the other shoe to drop; anticipating the impending and unwarranted judgment that was to come.

"I never believed you'd become some demon's whore." Kohaku accused heartlessly, intending to break her down until she recanted. Yet, as much as he wanted Rin to believe that her relationship with Sesshomaru disgusted him; he wouldn't not be able resist her if she were to ask him to trail her like shadow.

"I see. Before you get too concerned, I wasn't looking for you." Rin's voice was solid and resolute. "I didn't think someone could speak as coldly as Sesshomaru did to me earlier, and now I know I was wrong." Kohaku noticed how he'd never seen the softness in Rin's eyes fade before as she chastised him for his inexcusable rudeness.

'You're going to have to make a choice,' Sesshomaru's fatalistic ultimatum wove it's way through the hallows of her mind like a ribbon. She swore to make herself clearly understood by both Kohaku and Sesshomaru even if it meant loosing one or the other.

"If you think you're going to guilt or shame me into giving up Sesshomaru, then you're sorely mistaken. Nothing you say will keep me from marrying him." He swallowed hard as she moved closer to him. He stood up to meet her face to face, and Rin stopped just short of arms reach. "And if you believe that I don't understand how you feel, then you're dead wrong."

"You don't have the slightest idea how I feel. Sesshomaru is not in love with another person is he?" Kohaku shot back quickly, rounding in on the girl. Rin backed up eager to keep space between them. "You don't have to watch on as some one else makes him happy-as someone else makes him forget you."

Before Rin could distance herself any further, Kohaku used his long reach and grasped onto her narrow shoulders. Her eyes searched his, regretting, knowing that his heart was the one to be broken. Sesshomaru was right, she could no longer fight the truth.

"Do you think it's that easy to forget about you? I'd still care about you even if you hated me!" The girl cried; her answer traveled for miles across the solitude that surrounded the boy's encampment. "If I only I could forget you; then my heart wouldn't break like it does." Rin admitted softly. "I know that if I hold on to you that I will only hurt you Kohaku. I can't give you what you want." Rin said as her voice wavered. "I'm in love with Sesshomaru."

'Just this once' the boy reasoned as the flame flickered in the depths of Rin's eyes. "I knew you'd always choose him, but, it didn't stop me from wishing you wouldn't. I love you very much. Too much to wish for your happiness anymore. I wasn't willing to be noble, and give you up. I didn't want to be the better man. I just want you." Kohaku confessed as if he didn't have the capacity to keep it inside of himself. In the wild moment that followed, the demon slayer swept Rin up into his strong arms and stole a hot and desperate kiss. The lure of surrender began to consume the vulnerable girl as those same powerful arms wrapped around her tighter, pulling her closer to Kohaku. It felt undeniably easy, but also very wrong to let him continue. Sesshomaru's face flashed across her mind and Rin pulled her mouth away from Kohaku's.

"No!" The word seemed to be made completely of breath. Before she could get her bearings and pry herself from his arms, he turned her loose. A chill vibrated from within and traveled down to her finger tips The girl felt outside her of body watching the scene unfold from far away.

The boy had lost himself, and what he wanted more than anything now was to stop the way he felt about Rin. He would have torn his heart out of his chest with his bare hands if it would have helped to remove the offensive and unwanted desire. "Kohaku-" The girl pleaded trying to reach out to the demon slayer. She started in his direction, but stopped when he met her eye with a dodgy unstable look.

"Don't!" He commanded in a short bark. Warning that it was unwise to come any closer. "Go after Sesshomaru, he's the one you want after all." Kilala transformed to her full size in a burst of spectral flames responding to the demon's name. "Take her to Sesshomaru." He said, choosing to send the girl away, if only cleanse his pallet. He could not force Rin to love him. Nor could she compel Kohaku to accept that it was never him that she burned for during the dark and sumptuous hours of the night. All he knew is that he lacked some magnetic and intrinsic quality Sesshomaru possessed which Rin could not deny.

The fire-cat strode up to Rin and stopped at the girl's side. What more could she say? They had spoken, revealed their true feelings, and failed to reach a common ground. Had she irreparably damaged Kohaku? Only time would tell. Rin climbed on Kilala's back and took to the sky without a farewell. She glanced back over her shoulder when they were far enough away, thinking how solitary the small flickering blip of light looked amongst an ocean of slumbering leafless trees.

The rising sun tinged the eastern horizon a deep and smoldering crimson. Rin and Kilala were greeted by the first light of a new day as they moved along the coast. They flew above a large pocket of fog that crept slowly upon the land like a colossus from the endless murky expanse of the sea. They had been flying for hours it seemed. Kilala followed the combined trail of Sesshomaru and A-Un's scent that had blended together.

Sesshomaru had traveled an incredibly far distance from the village, and Rin wondered how many times he had traversed the country side of Japan. How many haunts had Sesshomaru established in the time he had been alive? Speculating whether or not he'd harder to find if he chose to disappear again left her in a nervous and disquieted mood.

The waves tumbled and swirled breaking against the place where the earth and the water met for miles and miles on end. Rin's eyes scanned the empty beaches for some sign of Sesshomaru, resisting the strong urge to turn back and go home. She could feel Kilala's speed slowing, indicating that the demonic cat was beginning to feel the fatigue of such a lengthy flight. The girl encouraged the beast to keep going if only for just a little while longer. Eventually, it was too much of a struggle for Kilala to keep herself aloft and she landed on a secluded beach littered with shells and seaweed that had washed up on to the shore from deep below the waves.

Small beams of light filtered through the dense fog and hit the open water. The patches of sun sparkled as it rode on the current just as it had done when Rin watched the sunset with Sesshomaru. The sea air refreshed her, and strengthened her vigilance to bring Sesshomaru home. She left Kilala behind to rest and plodded her way down the shore.

She sank into the sand with every step she took. She removed her foot bindings realizing that they were becoming an unnecessary hindrance in the temperate climate of the south. The soft granuals of sand felt nice as they rubbed Rin's feet smooth.

The walk gave her plenty of uninterrupted time to organize her thoughts. What would she say when she saw Sesshomaru? Did she want to spend the rest of her life following him around begging for attention, as Kohaku suggested might happen?

Sesshomaru had been planted in the same spot for hours watching the waves thinking about the many sunrises he'd seen in his life. He thought of how many of them had been alone set to the soundtrack of a buzzing world rapidly morphing around him. He reflected on the continuous cycle which he observed bursting into life only to be claimed by the shriveled hands of destruction and death. He thought about his first and his last taste of blood. Finally, he thought about Rin. She seemed to be connected to all his thoughts.

A-Un's heads rose and turned looking down the shoreline as if waiting for something or someone familiar. His tail wagged happily and he was halted from leaving Sesshomaru's side to meet the stranger halfway. It was as if Sesshomaru knew she was near.

'Have you come for me Rin?' It is said that it only takes a thought of the devil and he will appear. Could something as simple as a wish conjure a person in the flesh? Sesshomaru knew the only person A-Un reacted to like that was Rin, and if it was her, she had traveled a long way to find him.

He stood up and walked down to the waves to get a better view of the shore line. The sillouette of a small black figure could be made out just a little above the horizon, but the sunrise was too bright to make out the identity who was coming in his direction. Rin saw the long tall shadow of a person in the distance standing on the shore as well. She knew it was Sesshomaru instantly. A-Un's massive shape and double heads following him out of a cove gave him away. She began to walk quicker until she broke into a breathless run. Her barefeet splashed in the cold ocean water keeping time with the heart beating rapidly in her chest.

'Why can't I resist you? After everything you said and all the uncertainty, why?' She questioned as she fought to still her body, and more importantly, she tangled with the impetus that pushed her to want to be at Sesshomaru's side. 'Stop running, and stand your ground Rin!' The girl's brain and heart battled as tears streamed down her cheeks. The brain had triumphed and she stoped. If he wouldn't come to her, if he-'wait, he's heading this way' Rin's chest heaved as the shadow moved towards her.

Sesshomaru knew exactly why Rin had ceased running. He had lied to her. He had shoved her far away from him with a few words. He had punished her for caring about him. Something more powerful than her hurt had caused her to run to him when she saw him. That same mesmeric impulse is what drew him towards Rin now.

The demon inside of him had been destroyed by his own hands, but the coldness still lingered. Sesshomaru had given up the only life he'd known for Rin, with the hope that their destinies would remain bound together. If he senselessly kept Rin at arms length, he'd loose everything. He'd forfeit his soul and any chance at future happiness. As the fog began to thin and the sun warmed the air, Rin truly came into view. Light poured over her, and once again she became the bright end at the end of a very obscure tunnel.

The nearer he drew the more palpable he became. She could feel his finger tips indenting into her flesh, his arms around her, the warmth of his mouth on hers, and she wished he'd never found her. She wished she had forgotten him forever. How easy it was to desire him from afar. He could take it all away at any time. He wouldn't feel a thing would he? Having him seemed almost crueler than not. Rin's throat clentched and she refused to take any steps in his direction.

She stared blankly through Sesshomaru as he stopped in front of her, looking down at her as he always had done. The crash of the waves thundered against the shore, drowning out the sound of her heart. "Goodbye Lord Sesshomaru." The girl spoke slowly in a low sad tone. She turned to walk from him and he grabbed her by the shoulder. She yanked away from him, pulling her arm into her chest defensively.

"Rin where are you going?" Sesshomaru asked as he grabbed her again, catching her hand.

"Home. I've made a huge mistake." She looked away from him as tears formed in her eyes threatening to pour over.

"And which mistake is that?"

"I gave into you knowing better. Now I want you to leave and I want you to forget about me. You don't need me, so it really shouldn't be too hard." Sesshomaru released her hand, and she began walking away from him again.

"I'm sorry." Rin looked over her shoulder with tears were running down her face. "I lied to you." In the time she'd known him, he'd never apologized to anyone.

"I have an ultimatum for you now." She faced him, walking the ten paces to where he stood and gazed deeply at him before continuing. "If you vanish again, I will not come to look for you. It'll be as if you'd never existed. I won't chase after you for the rest of my life Sesshomaru."

"Forgive me Rin." He said as he drew her tightly to him. "You're the only thing I need in this world." He felt her defenses falter in his arms as she pressed herself close to him.

"Will you come home with me?" Rin asked softly with her head against Sesshomaru's broad chest.

"Yes. I'll go anywhere you ask." The girl looked up at him, with a profound happiness in her eyes, and she rewarded him with a warm and loving smile. He felt emotion swell from within, and he kissed her openly without shame or hesitation. He was neither human nor demon, but he knew one thing at that moment, that nothing would prevent him from his goal of living a full life with the woman he loved and treasured above all else.

Rin and Sesshomaru gathered A-Un and walked along the shore back to where Kilala was resting. He took her small hand in his grasping it firmly, relishing the warm sunny weather, and the sea breeze. "Let's go home Rin."


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14: What it Means to be Human

The sun had long begun to descend behind the horizon when Sesshomaru and Rin arrived back at the village. The girl's body was stiff from sitting in the same place for so many hours, and her belly ached sourly from hunger. In all the chaos, neither Sesshomaru or Rin had eaten since the night before, and they had been in flight for most of the day.

Rin's legs wobbled a bit when she dismounted from A-Un. The snow that had covered the north now lurked above the village. The girl curled her fingers into a tight ball as chilled air nipped at the pads of her exposed fingertips. She wished they could have stayed on that deserted beach just a while longer, but she was happy to be home for the time being. Perhaps some day, she and Sesshomaru might find themselves basking peacefully in the amber rays of a perpetual Indian summer beside the sparkling mysterious sea.

The pair followed the well tread path to Kaede's hut. The smell of cooking food radiated from many of the small huts that surrounded the old woman's dwelling. Rin scratched the flap of the hut and entered at Kaede's request. "I see you've worked out your differences." The priestess said as she ladled steaming soup into simple scrubbed wooden bowls handing one to both Rin and Sesshomaru. The three ate in silence. The hot soup filled the girl's belly and warmed her from the inside. Rin felt lucky.

The trip to and from the coast was necessary in two ways. First, it marked the end to a rocky and ambiguous chapter in Rin and Sesshomaru's relationship. Secondly, the cards that Sesshomaru had been playing closely to his chest were finally lain on a proverbial table. No secrets remained between the girl and her lover, and Rin was thankful for a direct answer after many years of waiting.

The girl's mind began to drift and she found herself a million miles away on the back of a flying lizard. Rin followed the distorted reflection of A-Un gliding over the calm sea. He flew low enough to the surface of the water that the girl felt as if she were going to be swallowed up by the dark blue abyss. Like a bird on the open wind, the beast climbed up steadily latching on to a strong tail wind, and soared directly into the bright ball of the midday sun. Rin grasped on to the spot where his heads became one and joined the hulking mass of his scaly body. The demonic lizard rapidly ascended into a place where the air became thin, and the jagged line of the coast looked as if it had been sketched by a massive hand.

Rin had never been that high up before, and the girl's astonishment reminded the world weary Sesshomaru of something he had long forgotten. "This is amazing! You can see everything." She remarked happily as the novelty of freedom radiated from her voice. She pointed out a large pod of dolphins lacing them selves through the water like a needle and thread being drawn through a never-ending swatch of shimmering fabric. "Have you ever flown this high on your own Lord Sesshomaru?" He nodded. He'd taken for granted the supernatural abilities that had been second nature to him were considered splendid gifts to mortals. "Do you think you'll miss your powers?"

"If I had coveted them at all, I wouldn't have been able to become human, Rin." She smiled softly as she gazed at Kilala flying far below them. "Power is a doubled-bladed sword girl. Others will always be stronger than you are." Sesshomaru commented soberly. "The powerful spend their existence fighting to either gain or keep their power, leaving time for very little else." His tone made Rin feel as if he were realizing the true nature of control. It was as insubstantial as the specter of a hand print on a chilled pane of glass. Rin pictured an existence of slaughter and brutality. She envisioned towns brim full with widows and the discarded children of war picking through the cinders of their memories. Deplorable squalor, horror, and attrition solely for the benefit of two opposing energies clashing for the fleeting chance to secure dominion over everything.

"It must be difficult to live such a life." Rin fished reluctantly, eyes focused on the vanishing point of the horizon, hoping for Sesshomaru to agree with her. She wondered if he knew that those who had no taste for violence suffered the worst.

Sesshomaru's hand gravitated to the base of Rin's spine, as he kept his other arm protectively wrapped around her waist. His fingers traced the tense muscles that lined the narrow depression of the girl's spinal cord, finding their way into the tangle of her dark thick hair. He mechanically stroked his ward as one would their pet in search of consolation. Rin instinctively drew closer to Sesshomaru, and turned those innocent eyes on him. She'd never known that betraying kind of temptation that makes you change. He wished it were in his nature to lie to her just this once. Even if he couldn't smell the blood that had imbedded itself into the pores of his skin any longer, it still lingered as a constant reminder of the leaden weights that had trapped his soul in the underworld.

"No." Sesshomaru commented absently, "tearing the world apart requires very little effort. It's only disturbing for those with a conscience." His confession froze the girl in his arms. An icy surge resonated from line he'd just traced along her skin. "Troubling isn't it?" Rin knew she would have to face a dark truth about Sesshomaru one day, yet, all this honesty made her realize there were many hidden truths that she wasn't prepared to accept. She'd only known the side he'd chosen to present to her. The compassion and civility that he slowly revealed to her was a symptom of Sesshomaru valuing Rin's own humanity.

'Was I a pet?' Rin thought as the same spindly fingers strong enough to pulverize bones, tenderly repaired snags in her hair. The relationship seemed so natural and desirable to her, that she never looked at it objectively. The pairing seemed incredibly unconventional at the moment. It was similar to a snake taking a mouse as a companion.

As Rin had come to understand, Sesshomaru was a demon first and foremost, and power meant taking no prisoners. It meant a terrible shiver of visceral excitement and anticipation. It meant crushing those with the unfortunate luck of facing him when the battle had been decided. The bits and pieces of the opposition left behind were sometimes flayed or eviscerated. In other cases, enemies were mashed into the porous and parched soil to become fodder for sightless worms and mangy scavengers. Those golden eyes like winter; now, were the eyes of a predator shining in the dark. Rin envisioned the delight Sesshomaru must have taken in battle. In spite of that, the girl was compelled to play the devil's advocate. Could the truth be as hopeless and horrifying as she imagined it to be? "There was never a small voice asking you, pleading with you, to stop?" Rin eyes examined his face, and searched that beautiful impassive mask.  
"I could never explain to you the ecstasy I felt the first time I killed in cold blood." Ecstasy was a curious descriptor for such a repulsive deed. The admission was dyed with a slight and sentimental exhilaration similar to recalling a fond memory of youth. "In the several centuries following that one act; I became entranced, obsessed really, with the instance at which life fled the body. The change from living mobile flesh into dirt, soil, decomposing matter happens in a heart beat." An unspoken thread of a memory flickered in the depths of his black eyes. "There is no greater thrill than holding a life in your hands. I deeply valued the power that being a demon granted me. In turn, it became simple enough to ignore that small voice when I had no sense of regret or guilt." He paused giving Rin a moment to consider what he'd just told her, neither objecting to or defending his past. It made no sense to explain his behavior, it just was. "Yet, demons are merely the creation of desperate men. Immortality, incredible strength, and fearlessness in exchange for one's soul seems like quite the bargain when that soul is filled with hate and unspent rage. What I didn't understand until very recently is that the conscience will be heard whether on the worldly plain or after the soul is trapped in the underworld."

Trapped? She had been there too; in that place where her body faded into the humming amethyst light. The place where she felt afloat and surrounded, weightless as if suspended in a warm bath. The experience had haunted her. Every so often she dreamed of that place. She dreamt of the muted peacefulness different from the noisy bright waking world full of pain.

"You saw what awaited you after you died didn't you?" Sesshomaru remained silent for a moment retreating to that empty hellish prison. "But no warm light washed over you did it?"

"No. Just the darkness and my sins. It's the proper end for a demon."

"Why shorten your life then? Why rush head long into hell?" Rin questioned ardently. Regardless of what crimes he had committed in the past, she couldn't imagine him imprisoned in the underworld.

"Becoming human was the only path to atonement. From what I've been told I'm the same as all other demons. I died distracted by my unresolved anger and grief."

"You're not the same. You may have been a demon and done very terrible things, but you're not just some product of an angry soul." Rin reflected hastily, ignoring the fact that it made no sense for Sesshomaru to lie to her. A half a second passed, and Kagome came to mind. Her place in this world, in this time, was just that. She was the wish of a dying priestess. If Kagome was a love that wouldn't die, then it was just as possible that Sesshomaru was the result of a hate that stirred restlessly, consuming the soul, until it was granted a vessel to fulfill its desires. Sesshomaru watched as the gears in Rin's mind began to grind against one another. "If that's true," Rin paused and her eyes widened, "you were human in another life."

"When I was very young, I asked my father why he chose human women. He told me for all the power that demons possess; they lacked one special ability. Do you know which ability that is?" Sesshomaru's deep voice worked like a salve, slowing Rin's mind. She shook her head. "Humans reincarnate after they die. Demons do not. My father told me he encountered the same woman on several different occasions over a number of centuries. They always met as strangers and parted as lovers. She would never remember him, but it was as if they had never been separated." Had Sesshomaru once known Rin? Had he once loved her? "I didn't want our paths to cross like that night in the cave. Such a strange sensation to be forgotten by a familiar face. If we are to meet time and time again as strangers, I'd rather it be new every time for the both of us. I chose to become human so that I might reincarnate with you as I should have done long ago. It's worth running head long into hell for that simple pleasure."

XxX

Sesshomaru and Rin were married shortly after their return to the village. A small hut was constructed rapidly for the newly weds a short distance from the other huts next to a fallow square of soil. The pair settled into the quiet married life quite happily and quicker than any of their friends had expected. The newly converted demon was still very much as they had remembered him, silent, aloof, and contemplative. Rin, on the other hand, was busting with joy. She had everything she wanted as a child: a large group of people who loved her and accepted her as she was, and this man, this creature, that had captivated her so thoroughly, had sworn to be faithful always.

The days melded together for Rin and Sesshomaru. The long frigid winter of the village melted into a late spring, and Sesshomaru learned the joy of cultivating the land. The unsowed rich and rested earth sprang to life under his touch. He groomed and fostered the soil with the same precision he lent to his previous preoccupations. In truth, the act of giving life brought Sesshomaru much more satisfaction and fulfillment than destruction and murderous abandon had ever done.

The spring moved immediately into a drowsy summer full of humid days and scattered rumbling thunderstorms. All the things Rin treasured, yet, missed while living at the temple remained just as they were. As if waiting for her to return so that she might enjoy them for herself once again. Sesshomaru had adhered to his promise as well, and remained by Rin's side as the seasons changed.

It comforted Sesshomaru to have at last found a place in the world after nearly 500 years of searching. He watched two fireflies buzz by as a massive moon tinged the color of honey rose over the foliage of the wide forest. The nocturnal world of shadows revealed a lusty royal blue landscape under the soft blonde glow. "The moon seems close enough to touch doesn't it? When you were gone, the moon was like it is now just once. When I looked at it, it reminded me of your eyes. It was bittersweet to feel both alone and with you at the same time." Rin said dreamily resting her head on Sesshomaru's shoulder. "I was young, and all I wanted from you was to notice me. I even made a wish that you'd think of me from time to time in the chance that you'd forget."

He had heard her, and now knew he should have turned around when she called. On multiple occasions, Sesshomaru felt worried about Rin without reason. He had ignored his gut; he had ignored her voice calling for him. Shortly after Jakken had returned from Kaede's village, the nagging feeling that something was definitely wrong completely disappeared. She had confirmed the inexplicable tie linking them together by stating she had made a wish that he would think of her.

Sesshomaru knew that Rin hesitated to solicit from him the things she desired. She would never dare ask him if he was going to miss her; all she could do was to hope for it. When he imagined her sadly smiling and fighting tears asking if he would miss her, it was Rin traveling beside him, instead of the blanched full moon.

"Rin?" She did not answer, she had fallen asleep with her head against his shoulder. Sesshomaru remained on the hillside for a few moments before sweeping his sleeping wife up into his arms. He tucked her small form tightly against his lean powerful frame, and moved her into their hut, putting her to bed. As Rin's back hit the futon and he had begun to release her, the girl's arms clasped around his neck and her mouth curved into a happy loving smile. Her dark exquisite eyes twinkled mischievously. "Ha," She whispered softly, "I fooled you. I just wanted to you to come to bed."

"Is that so Rin."

XxX

On a breezeless sticky day that bridged July and August together, Sango and Kagome were walking their wash down to the river, if only to escape the tyrannical heat. The normally very conservative and proper Sesshomaru had even found the smothering humidity severe enough to remove his shirt. The revelation was quite surprising. His fat-free musculature, all striation and sinew, contrasted the deceptively delicate lines of his face. As the girls past him watering and tending to his verdant young crops full of nearly ripe vegetables and gourds, Kagome and Sango couldn't help but stare a little longer than they should have at his glistening smooth sun baked skin. 'You'd think they'd never seen a man before' Rin's laughing voice came to Sesshomaru's mind as he went about his work.

The two were well into the forest when Kagome posed a question muttered out of the corner of her mouth. "Hey Sango, do you think Rin ever, you know, with Sesshomaru when he went to go rescue her? You just saw what I saw right? Don't tell me you've never wondered."

"Kagome, it's none of your business." Sango chided. "But…I could imagine how hard it must have been. They had plenty of time to themselves, and you have to find something to do on those chilly winter nights to stay entertained. Sesshomaru's not much of a talker either. Plus, you must factor in that he is very handsome and mysterious as well. I'd imagine that anything is possible, but I doubt Rin would tell us." Sango couldn't help but smile devilishly thinking about Rin's discomfort if Kagome were to run the question by the girl.

"You know she did! How could she not?" Kagome said a too loudly while approaching the river where Rin had been waiting for them.

"Did what Kagome?" Rin asked with a perplexed smile on her face. Perhaps it was a little village gossip. Unfortunately, Rin was a glutton for gossip, although she never repeated it, but she loved juicy stories and secrets. Kagome seemed to be full of them.

"Nothing. It's just something stupid, you don't want to know." Kagome said lightly shifting her laundry on her hip.

"You should just ask her Kagome." Sango protested, "there's no need to be embarrassed."

Rin looked back and forth between the girls wondering what they were up to.

"Rin," Kagome began, "you and Sesshomaru spent a lot of time alone together on top of that mountain. Did get to know him better while you were there?" Kagome's sly approach went completely over the girl's head. Rin nodded and smiled thoughtfully.

"We went through so much after he was purified. I got to see the sides of him I knew I never would have under other circumstances." Rin said introspectively, unaware that Kagome's concerns were more wanton in nature.

"Kagome wants to know if you two really got to know each other better." A small light bulb went off in Rin's head when Sango emphasized the word 'really'. She blushed all the way to her hair laughing uncomfortably.

"It was the right time and place, married or not." Rin said wistfully regaining some of her confidence. "What about you Kagome? We didn't see you or Inuyasha for quite a while after you came back through the well." The girl said coyly turning the tables and the spotlight on her nosy friend.

"That's true, you and Inuyasha would scamper off into the woods for hours at a time, and come back just long enough to eat. There was a point where we couldn't separate you two long enough to marry you." Sango interjected.

"Like Rin said, it was a matter of the right place and the right time." Kagome said nonchalantly. "You can't blame us for wanting to make up for lost time."

"The heart wants what the heart wants. One thing usually leads to another, and before you know it, you're lost in the afterglow." Sango commented with a smile on her face not willing to reveal whether or not she had jumped the gun.

'Moments like this were worth fighting for.' Kagome mused walking along side the other girls down to the river.

xXx

Rin noticed Kagome looking a little worn around the edges and offered to take the woman's toddler for the afternoon. The taciturn child clung to the girl just as readily as she would have to her mother. "Wave bye bye to your mama." Tamako did as she was instructed. Those who knew her could best describe her as a little odd. Strangers would portray the unnerving way she seemed to peer into one's soul as eerie and extremely unsettling. It felt as if she were riffling through the darkest thoughts and secrets that had been locked deeply away behind bald faced lies and the cover of a charming smile. Miroku was hesitant to be around her. The child struck him as slightly sinister, although, he refused to tell her parents what he sensed about her. She understood what people were saying, and she did as she was asked, but she was as silent as the grave. She had never spoken a single word in her life. Her face never changed.

Tamako's golden eyes followed Rin to and fro as she prepared the child something to eat before putting her to bed for a nap. Without warning, the little girl fell to the ground in convulsions and gasped as if being strangled. Rin ran to her, and as soon as she placed her hands on the prostrate child, many images, too random to make out flashed before her. Rin collapsed and her heart felt as if were stomping against her rib cage.

What had she just seen? She was crying, but could not remember what she had just been shown to her. Why did she feel like her heart was breaking? Rin pushed herself with effort off the compacted clay floor. She searched frantically for Tamako and found her sitting up with a quizzical tear filled eyes, looking as if she had never experience the violent seizure. When Kagome returned looking refreshed and laughing with Inuyasha, Rin immediately told the child's parents about the fit.

"I see. That makes quite a world of difference." Kaede muttered gravely, as she suggested Tamako more than likely was destined to be a profit. The old woman spoke of a class of people granted with the spiritual ability of seeing the future, but they could only share what they've seen with person concerned through touch. The old woman also said that explained Tamako's inability to speak. It was the universe's way of keeping mortals from avoiding the divine path lain before them. The images were often out of order or too vague or symbolic to be understood. Rin tried and tried to recall what she saw, but only the faint idea of fire or light came to mind. She also felt crippling grief, although it was not her own. The longer she attepted to search her forgetful mind for a stronger image, the more the emotional barbs of the image drove into her heart. Eventually Rin gave up the pursuit of the lost flashes and returned to the here and the now.

XxX

As the summer wound down to a close it was time once again to go on the village's annual distilling trip to the ocean. This long awaited visit to the sea would ensure that the village would have enough salt to cure and dry the abundance of fish, foul, and small woodland creatures that the villagers hauled in during the autumn harvests. Smoked and dried fish caught during this working holiday provided the necessary protein in diet comprised mainly of preserved food stuffs. Sesshomaru had yet to live a life that required him to prepare for a long winter. He had never worried about starving to death as the people bustling around him with their fishing nets and their drying racks did.

Sesshomaru was being shown the basics of reweaving frayed fishing nets by Rin and Kagome when he was pulled away from the women to go take part in some 'men's work'. When he had first arrived at the village as a permanent resident, the men leared and inspected him unscrupulously stating that they didn't need another demon posing as a human living in their village. Yet, his viability grew immensely, when they saw the bounty and health of his crops and the way he handled a sword. Whatever he was, Sesshomaru could protect and feed his village as well as six men.

His full initiation to Kaede's village occurred only shortly before the trip to the ocean, and it still felt strange for Sesshomaru to be surrounded by beings which were essentially like and unlike himself. The same men that scorned him for posing as a wolf in sheep's clothing, instructed him to grasp on to a tightly woven loop that was connected to a wide inescapable net heaping with writhing splashing bodies of hundreds of fish. As Sesshomaru sloughed through the knee high waves to pull in the hefty catch he thought about those weary and suspecting men.

Village boys of varying ages clung to Inuyasha's every word. Sesshomaru observed his half-brother deliver instruction to the boys for a few days, and finally he felt the need to correct him. "Do you intend to go on teaching these children incorrectly Inuyasha? You've been instilling in them the sloppy way you've learned to weild your sword. If they were to incounter a true swordsman they'd be pathetically struck down."

The boys gaped scandalized at the stoic and mute stranger they'd been told to avoid by their parents.

"All your skill didn't stop me from cutting your arm off did it Sesshomaru?" Inuyasha responded insultingly.

"Point taken." Sesshomaru answered flatly. "You rely on luck and emotion and that will get you killed. Any swordsman worth his weight in salt knows that complete controll over a confrontation is a much more effective way of keeping themselves alive. Come at me and I'll show you the holes in your offense as well as your defense." The day was scortching and the villagers were in the mood to see a fight. Two men tossed Inuyasha and Sesshomaru bamboo training swords and let them go relentlessly at one another.

For each quick blow delivered by Inuyasha; Sesshomaru countered with a stealthy deadly strike. It didn't take long for the villagers to realize the tall dark stranger had much more experience with handling a sword. When the influence of flashy powerful demonic swords had been removed, hands down, the victor of every short sparring match was Sesshomaru. The strange thing was, had the blades been able to slice through anything, the result would have been fatal every time. "Sesshomaru just killed Inuyasha 27 times over!" A baratone voice of a middle aged farmer resonated, frothing, from the front of the energized cat calling spectators. The crowd cheered as Sesshomaru finally gained integration.

After the days work had closed out, Sesshomaru escaped from the large bonfires that freckled the beach and sat beside the perpetually crashing waves. His muscles ached and his body felt heavy in a good way. 'I'm aging. It'd always thought I'd go out in battle. This a welcomed way to die. I'm glad I made this choice Rin.' He mused as watched his woman walk slowly towards him with a bowl of hot, fresh, and lovingly prepared seafood stew in hand for him. The sun set slowly, liquefying, the same shade as the meat of a blood orange, droping behind the end of the earth. The pair ate the plentiful stew made of tender crabs, vulnerable muscles, hearty scallops, the white flaky flesh of many varieties of fish, starchy roots, and crisp vegitation picked along the way to the shore. Rin's meals always tasted the best and this evening, was no different.

"Summer's reached it's quick hasn't it?" The girl mentioned quietly after the need to eat slowed and their bellies began to fill.

"It's not our last, Rin." Feeling akin to her; understanding her lonesome tone.

"I just wish moments like this would never end." She said reflectively. "You chose this spot last time too. You still have no desire to be around other people do you?"

"Sometimes I feel like you're the only thing that reminds me that I am human. Yet, that impuse isn't as strong as it was last winter. Being a man is not a natural thing for me, and I was warned that I'd have to learn what it meant to be mortal."

"I'm more than prepared to teach you everything you need to know." Rin said as she removed the empty bowl from his palms and placed it in the sand stacked crookedly on top of hers. "Look at those huge waves calling our names. Common' Lord Sesshomaru, I'll race you to them! You don't want to be a stinky, festering, rotten egg." The girl goaded; using the only pet name he allowed. Sesshomaru caught up to Rin grabbing her by the waist gracefully and escorted the gleefully laughing girl to the rising tide. He held her above the crisp salty water threatening to dump her in it, which caused her to squeal happily and cling to him tightly.

"Just the toes? What do you think?" He said straightly and began to dip her down as she pulled her knees to her chest.

"No!" She wailed. "Absolutely not!"

"Not even the little one? You're the one who wanted to play in the waves."

"It's too cold Lord Sesshomaru." She protested, tucking her head into the crook of his neck. "Is that so? Some say cold, some say refreshing. It's all a matter of how you spin it." After a few more passionate protests against being dropped into the chilly Pacific he gave up his front and walked back to the shore. The pair settled mere feet from the frothy breaking waves, and watched the ruby red light dissolve into a dusky star speckled evening.

"You know what I saw in your eyes just now that I don't see in them very often?" Rin spoke in a low satisfied tone.

"What's that?"

"Happiness. Pure and simple."

XxX

Towards the end of the fall, Kaede died. It was sudden, but a long time coming. Kagome discovered her after she realized the woman hadn't come out of her hut all morning. She went to go check on her, and found Kaede looking as if she were still asleep. Rin watched on with a heart of stone as Inuyasha touched the burning end of a torch to a quickly constructed pyre containing Kaede's anointed remains. The old prietess' loved ones commited her ashes to the earth next to Kikyo's grave.

News of epidemics in surrounding villages moved Rin and Kagome into action in leiu of Kaede's death. The women were constantly traveling during the first half of the winter to help treat colds and flus with their variety of herbal remedies. It seemed that Rin would only come back to the village for a few days before she was traveling as quickly she could to snuff out this or that fire.

"How many days will you be gone this time?"

"Oh, two or three weeks." Rin spoke wearily from underneath a heavy bundle of blankets laying beside Sesshomaru. "It's a pretty bad case this time."

"Are you sure you should go? Don't you ever worry that your life is on the line every time you enter an infected area?" Although the thought crossed his mind often when Rin was gone, this was the first time he'd verbalized his concern.

"You're not serious are you? I'm a healer, and it's my duty to cure the sick, or at least lead them into a peaceful death." Rin said pointedly. "Kagome is very careful, and she takes every precaution before we enter any town or village."

Sesshomaru watched from his hut as Kagome and his wife mounted A-Un and flew away becoming a pin prick on the horizon against the rising sun. 'What could I have said to make you change your mind…that feeling again.'

Rin and Kagome arrived very late in the village about five and a half weeks later. Sesshomaru was drinking tea with Inuyasha and Tamako when Kagome wandered in and summoned him over. "Where's Rin?" He demanded noting the gravity of her gaze. She refused to answer, but began leading him to his own hut. "What happened? She said two or three weeks."

"We ran into some serious complications." Kagome's voice slipped out of her hollowly as if something in her had broken. She opened the flap and lead him inside. As Sesshomaru moved closer to his pale sweating coughing wife, Kagome warned him to keep his distance. He ignored her completely with frantic thoughts running through his head. This thin wasting tired creature could not be his vibrant loving Rin.

"Rin." Sesshomaru said softly. She opened her glazed eyes, swallowed, and expelled the deep whooping cough of drowning lungs into the sleeve of her white sleeping gown. When she pulled away, a small bloody stain marred the crisp clean fabric.

"I'm sorry I'm late Sesshomaru." Rin muttered weakly. "You're not mad at me are you? I missed you so much." Her fatigued delirious eyes closed softly, and he pulled her closely to himself.

"Heal her. You can heal everyone else. Heal her, damn you!" Sesshomaru ordered as if it were something simple enough for her to fix. As if Kagome had been too preoccupied to bother with treating Rin.

"It's not possible, I'm sorry." Kagome's throat constricted tightly. "By the time we left the dying were burying the dead."

"You're sorry?" He growled. The disgust dripping from the repetition of her sincere words stabbed the priestess through the heart. Kagome stood there densely with tears running down her face.

'That look. He wants to kill me.' Kagome's mind raced as his ebony eyes mercilessly burned deeply into her.

"Are you weeping for joy-relieved it wasn't you?" Kagome lamely shook her head knowing that he would never forgive her. Sesshomaru clutched Rin's comatose body to his chest. "You selfish useless woman; you cry as if it would change the fact that you and you alone are responsible for what's happened to her."

"I'm sorry." Kagome wailed mournfully as she broke into rattling sobs. Sesshomaru paused and placed Rin down quickly. He moved towards the terrified woman who was petrified on the spot by her shame. He clutched her painfully by the arm and jerked her towards the door of his darkened hut. He pulled her face close to his and she could feel the furious heat coming off of his body.

"I would slaughter you without any hesitation or remorse if it meant that Rin would live. This is the second time you have failed her. Get out!" He snarled through clenched teeth and through her bodily into the freezing night air. "Don't come back."

XxX

"Consumption?" Inuyasha announced alarmed. "So she's just going to waste away? You couldn't have just left the village when you saw it's condition? How many graves did you have to dig before you realized you were loosing the battle?" He stopped when he saw the gnawing grief on his wife's face. Her shoulders slumped hopelessly.

"I thought it was a bad flu. I didn't realize the nature of the outbreak."

"Are you sure there's nothing you can do?" Inuyasha questioned this time less furiously noting that it did no good. Kagome shook her head mournfully; her self-centered wish to always be the hero had sentenced Rin to death.

"Even in my time there's still no cure for Tuberculosis. I can't help her." Kagome sank hopelessly within herself. "I've told the others to stay away, and to be prepared for the worst."

For many weeks Sesshomaru tended to Rin as her condition steadily declined. Kagome did her best to bring suppressants and supplements, but nothing could stave the boney hands that wrung in waiting for Rin's final breath.

The frost and caked snow melted as the sun grew warmer and warmer with each passing day. Sesshomaru cooked for her regularly, albeit, not as well as Rin did. He refused any other care that Kagome could have provided choosing to look after the girl on his own. He blamed himself inwardly for ever allowing Rin to live within the confines of the village. "It's time to eat." He said tenderly as he tilted her up and placed a bowl of soup to her lips. She drank the tepid broth slowly. A large coughing fit insued as the tissue that created a barrier between the lungs and esophagus, too tired to function, failed to work. These days very little found it's way to Rin's stomach. She grew gaunt and emaciated. The life was being leached out of her to depths of her bones.

In her last days she slept to dream. She tried her hardest to dream of memories, which she kept strung together like a treasured chain of her most beloved reruns: the seashore, the summer evenings spent stargazing, the cold nights alone together in their hut. But on this occasion, Rin found herself lost in a heavy sleep far away from her stifling unbearable prison like futon. As always, in her dream she was unbelievably full of the energy and strength she had so longed for since the illness had claimed her. The dream was similar to déjà vu.

She walked behind the lumbering figure of Sesshomaru carrying the withered skeletal remains of what appeared to be a young woman. The vision skipped further down the long tunneling path to a pyre that was constructed in a similar fashion to the one used to cremate Kaede. Without seeing her own body being laid among the tinder, Rin knew it was she that was to be burned.

Sesshomaru remained frozen beside the pyre with a burning torch in his right hand. The day was lovely. Ideal. Warm, bright, and cloudless; the type of day reserved for long walks along the forest trails and grilled ala carte lunches beside gently flowing clear rivers. A perfect day for long lazy afternoon naps in concealed meadows overgrown with sweet lush grass.

He trembled believing that once he had committed a single spark to the wood pile containing Rin, he could never return to those carefree days again. 'It's okay. I'm here with you Sesshomaru.' Her voice echoed unheard. Sesshomaru finally touched the flame to dry wood. Silver smoke the color of storm clouds rolled out from in between the small logs and eventually a roaring fire took it's place. Tamako's vision was complete. The knowledge was understood far too late to be used.

Rin's eyes opened and studied Sesshomaru sleeping next to her. She could hear birdsong and felt fearless now that no mystery remained. He'd become such a light sleeper these days, and awoke at Rin's slightest movement. His eyes locked onto hers and she smiled with more life than she had in quite some time.

A warm breeze blew teasingly against the cloth flap of their hut, and was opened at Rin's request for some fresh air. She seemed in good spirits that morning, and some of the color had come back to her cheeks. "Sesshomaru." The girl's voice was very faint. He came to her immediately and waited patently. "It's a beautiful day. I want to go back to that field with all the lilies. Will you take me to that place?"

"It's not wise to move you. I don't…" His eyes focused on her happy loving smile, not the dark shaddows beneath her barren eyes, or the protruding ribs of her bruised and exhausted chest.

"It's alright." Her wasted clamy hand found his and weakly squeezed. "I don't have any time left, please take me there." He understood that it was her last wish, and at that moment there was nothing that he would deny Rin. Thus, he lifted her gently and with much care from the futon that she had remained on since returning to the village. Her frail body was light, and Sesshomaru felt as if it were a bundle of twigs and not Rin that he was carrying. As he dipped below the flap of the hut he turned and looked behind him at the ruffled and abandoned blankets. He pondered about his fate in remaining healthy where Rin could not. He also thought about those blankets shortly becoming superfluous instead of necessary.

"Thank you." She coughed desperately trying her best to catch an elusive breath. "Will you make me a promise?" Rin's tired eyes smiled hopefully. "Try your best to learn what it is to be human."

"I promise Rin." Sesshomaru's voice was soft and resolute.

"I really messed things up this time around didn't I?" Sesshomaru looked at her painfully and reassuringly shook his head.

'Real sadness. It's a new emotion for you Lord Sesshomaru.' Rin thought as she raised her hand and brushed his cheek. "I'm sorry. I know my feelings for you are strong enough that they will carry over again and again. I've always loved you. I always will." Remorseful and emotional tears welled up and rolled slowly down to her chin.

"Don't say your piece just yet." Sesshomaru swallowed as his throat contracted sharply. At that moment he wished he'd told her he loved her more. He wanted more time to tell her all the things he felt; all the things he longed to discover with her. He kissed her forehead and moved deftly ahead afraid to reciprocate those words, as if knowing that they'd be the last chance he'd get so say them. "Save your strength, we'll be there soon." He pulled the fragile woman close to him if only to remember how she felt in his arms.

He crossed old smooth stepping stones that spanned a quickly trickling creek Millions of tiny budding gold-green leaves took shape in the canopy above his head. Rin's limp feet swung effortlessly to and fro keeping time with his pace. He remembered choosing that path specifically because of how asthetically pleasing and level the trail was. Small periwinkle, canary yellow, cream, and crimson wild flowers burst into life in the slivers of sunlight that cascaded through the treetops filtering down to the forest floor. Neon green moss latched hungrily to the trunks of the ancient trees spreading in all directions.

"I don't remember the trail being this beautiful. Really, beautiful…" Rin's words came out slowly, fatigued, tapped for energy as if her body was aching for sleep.

Sesshomaru could see the clearing and moved as quickly as he could towards it without jarring the girl around. He exited the canopy and stepped out into the brilliant sunshine. "Look we made it Rin…" He gazed down to check on her, and realized she had stopped stirring; stopped breathing. "Rin wake up. Rin?"

His eyes stung terribly; hot tears, his first, fell landing on her cheek. His knees failed him and he buckled to the ground. White lilies stretching as far as the eye could see surrounded them moving silently with the soft breeze. He pulled her close, and the tighter he held her the harder his tears fell. The pain refused to stop. 'Don't go. I love you. Don't take her from me. Don't leave me here alone. Please come back to me Rin.' He pleaded desperately wanting to give anything to have her back, and then he remembered his promise.

The tears stoped as he recalled through his grief, the goddess who had bestowed upon him a second chance. He remembered her cryptic warning about the consequences of the human condition. The short time he spent loving Rin had been so happy, pleasurable, and fulfilling that he never considered that it all could be taken away in an instant. 'What do I do now?'

'Sesshomaru,' A dark horrible voice filled the cavity of his suffering heart and mind. He'd destroyed the demon lurking inside of him, but not the connection to the being that had created him. He'd never once thought that the beast might be lying in wait to reclaim him. The voice had seductive qualities. 'What if I told you it was very simple to revive your precious Rin? I could give you what you desire most.'

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hello again J I love writing for you guys! Hooray for literacy! It's a great escape from balance sheets, income statements, journal entries, your little asshole cats peeing on all of your worldly goods, including your stove, and having to make all those venti caramel frappuccinos with double extra caramel. Go eat a fucking bag of sugar you fatties! But I digress… Also, I'm very sorry about the terrible delay between this and the last chapter. I'm an accounting major with a lame full time job serving coffee to blob people and their horrible sausage shaped snot and jelly children. Speaking of, don't be a snot and jelly kid. Don't spoil this chapter, if you'd be so kind. I'd really appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. No one likes that guy.

The whole time writing this particular chapter I was afraid you guys would beat me with a rubber hose full of marbles until I repentedL I know killing off a pivotal character is a terrible thing to do, but it needed to be done. This story started out as an exercise in writing romance/adventure, and has turned into a study on the duality of the human experience. Simply put, you can't have the sweet without the bitter. Once again, thanks for all the great support. You guys make me want to be a better writer.


End file.
